• 
• 
• 

• Search

• SUBSCRIBE

   get KRAPPS by RSS

  or, get KRAPPS by email:
  
  

• Recently Written

  • Chocolate, Doodle & Gold – iPhone iOS 4 Wallpaper 3-Pack [Download]
  • iPad Children’s Book “Farting Animals” Ensures Future Generation Of Fartaholics
  • Have Fun – Be A Turd – Play DoodleDumps For iPhone
  • Racy Pictures Of Apple Fanboy John Gruber Surface (Disturbing)
  • Internet Happy Pills, It’ll Make You Feel Better – plus Recap Week Of August 23
  • Polaroid Official iPhone App, InstantCam, Is An Embarrassing Failure
  • Hang Your Apps Out To Dry With This Unique iPhone iOS 4 Wallpaper [Download]
  • Essential “I’m Crushing Your Head” Functionality Now Available On iPhone With AutoCrush
  • 1990 vs 2010 – How Did We Survive Without The iPhone?
  • Warning – New Nigerian Scam

• Categories

  • anti-KRAPPS
  • Books
  • Business
  • Education
  • Entertainment
  • Finance
  • Games
  • General
  • Guest Authors
  • Health
  • Lifestyle
  • Music
  • Navigation
  • News
  • Photography
  • Productivity
  • Quick KRAPPS
  • Recap
  • Reference
  • Social
  • Sports
  • Travel
  • Uncategorized
  • Utilities
  • Weather

• Archives

  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
• 

Essential “I’m Crushing Your Head” Functionality Now Available On iPhone With AutoCrush

I’m Crushing Your Head! … I’m Crushing Your Head!

Who doesn’t love to hold their hands up to their eyes and pretend to crush an opponent? If you remember the hysterical Head Crusher skit from the Canadian comedy group, The Kids in the Hall, you know what fun this can be.

But after a while, your hand gets tired … fingers get numb … and you lose the ability to properly deliver the flathead pinch. AutoCrush [iTunes $0.99] solves this problem and adds Pinching and Squeezing options too! Plus it’s easy on your vocal chords since you can touch anywhere in the preview area and hear over 20 funny phrases at random.

AutoCrush uses the iPhone’s built-in camera and overlays animated male or female hands crushing, pinching or squeezing. If your iDevice doesn’t have a camera, a photo of a hot chick is provided so you can crush, pinch and squeeze her all day … and she won’t complain.  So save yourself a sexual harassment claim and get your AutoCrush on!

The endless antics with AutoCrush is available for $0.99 via the App Store … and proof the fun does NOT have to stop after elementary school. Be sure to check out the AutoCrush demo video below and a classic Headcrusher skit from The Kids in the Hall.

 

 

Sex Education App Uses Sexually Explicit Yet Acceptable Icon

You just never know what will get approved on the App Store …

German-based application developers, Lagenscheidt KG, have discovered the secret formula of including sexually explicit images in iPhone apps. Check out there new sex education app Sex-Deutsch …

Got it? Humans having sex = not ok … Bugs having sex = ok. Because after all, how could anyone say no to boinking bugs (sooo cuuuute)?

Tie Hot Knots For iPhone – Sexy Hot Chicks Tying Knots (LMAO)

Epic – Awesome – Amazing – Incredible – Legendary … these are all adjectives that came to mind when we discovered this next App Store gem … Tie Hot Knots.

Tie Hot Knots is a useful little application … it provides instructions for tying a tie. At only 40 cents per knot, included in this $1.99 app are directions for tying FIVE classic knots (wow – bargain) … Four-In-Hand, Windsor, Prince “not the piercing” Albert, Small and Half Windsor.

Ok, whatever … another “how to tie a tie” application … NOT! It has HOT chicks … you’ll get all hot and bothered just by reading the app’s description …

****MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY****
****HOTTEST TIE APP OUT****

Simple and sexy step-by-step instructions on how to tie a tie.

Tie Hot Knots brings you photos of beautiful women showing you how to tie a tie. All the classic tie knots presented the way you want. No more fat guys with chubby hands when you want to get ready for that big meeting or interview. Let the hands, lips, and hips of ladies guide you to step up your game with a fresh knot.

 

 

LMAO … but seriously, we don’t think Tie Hot Knots was meant to be a joke. We mean come on, LOOK AT THOSE HOT CHICKS! So hot, the developer couldn’t show their entire face and had no other option than to show Chop Chop Hot Chicks … smokin’ sexy.

Epic? Awesome? Amazing? Incredible? Legendary? Our bad. Make that … KRAPPtastic – KRAPPorama – KRAPPilicious … any way you describe it, it’s just plain KRAPP.

We Downloaded iSwimNude Because We Like To Swim Naked!

After two long years of waiting since the App Store opened its doors for business, nudists (yes, we said NUDISTS – people who like to walk around NAKED) have a reason to rejoice … Apple has finally approved the first iPhone application catering to naturists … iSwimNude.

iSwimNude was recently published by German nudist Frank Budszuhn. Rumor has it that Frank coded the entire application while he was buck naked in efforts to give the app a true uninhibited au naturel feel. This type of raw coding should appeal to both casual and hardcore nudists alike.

The premise behind the FREE iSwimNude application is fairly straightforward … it relies on user-generated content to populate it’s database of nude beaches worldwide. Know a spot where you can let it all hang out? Simply use the in-app submission form to share your bare assed pleasure with the rest of the iSwimNude community.

Since iSwimNude was only released a few days ago, there are few nudie beaches documented. For example, if you live in Southern California, your only choices of birthday suit bathing are at least 7 hours away … up in San Francisco or Vancouver (quick, someone enter Blacks Beach or San Onofre). Not surprising, the majority of nude locations can be found in Frank’s motherland, Germany … dude has obviously done his research.

 

One thing to note … there are no warning signs within iSwimNude addressing the dangers of nude sunbathing. So if you venture out stark nekkid, be sure to use plenty of sunscreen or better yet, cover your member with a towel. Trust us … a sunburned penis is worse than Bengay on your ball sack – OUCH!  

$450 Crap App Becomes #3 Grossing Application In Less Than One Day [Just Wrong]

App developer’s take note … this should provide plenty of motivation for achieving App Store success and billions of dollars!

You know those so-called “noteworthy and profitable” apps like Doodle Jump, Pocket God or Tetris? Those apps which developers work their ass off trying to release and maintain a quality product? F*CK ‘EM!

All you really need to do is spend 10 minutes programming a few black screens with decorative frames around the edges … call it an iPhone mirror … and increase the bastard’s from ninety nine cents to  four hundred and fifty dollars.

The end result of your bullshit? Some poor suckers will make your work (we use the term loosely) the #3 overall Top Grossing app … $$ Ka-Ching $$   

I Love Hot Dogs – A Tribute To App Store Stupidity

Oh geez, here we go … from the same brilliant minds that brought you the mindless I Love Burgers app, we present yet another App Store all-star … I Love Hotdogs … the tribute app to hotdog lovers worldwide.

Well, the one redeeming quality of I Love Hotdogs is the fact that it rates higher on the Dipshit Scale than its predecessor I Love Burgers. For whatever reason, folks look like bigger asshats when posing for pictures with hotdogs rather than hamburgers.

Of course you’ll always get the moron stuffing 127 hotdogs into their mouth …

 

Or the wanker who decides a hotdog is the best Halloween costume ever …

 

Long Duk Dong hotdog cooker? Yes please …

And finally, no hotdog tribute app should be taken seriously without hundreds of sexual innuendos. We are happy to report I Love Hotdogs does not disappoint …

 

 

How To Sell An iPhone App By Scaring The Crap Out Of Customers

Back in December we published a story called “How To SUCK At Selling iPhone Apps”. As the name suggests, the article highlighted crappy promotional techniques used by developers to peddle their goods.

Recently we came across an app whose description was so disturbing yet convincing, we immediately paid the $3.99 download price. To this day we’re not exactly sure why we purchased the Lethal Weapon app … but let’s just say fear is a huge motivator.

Damn those folks at Minervaz … developers of Lethal Weapon … for not sucking at sales tactics and scaring the shit out of us. Just read excerpts from Lethal Weapon’s over-the-top description (out in the street … everything is out of hand – bloody fights – those things will get you killed for sure)  … you too will fear for your life and gladly part with $3.99.

Out in the streets, there are no rules. Everything is out of hand. Anything goes. And you have to be ready for everything! Or else, lives are lost.

 

Most people only hear about this stuff in the evening news. And, they never think it will happen to them. Until it does happen to them… or to one of their loved ones… and they’re just not ready to handle it.

 

What about you… Will you be ready when violence decides to head your way?

 

The fighting system I’m talking about is revealed in a special new report… created by two street fighters who have had their share of bloody fights. Not in the classrooms but out in the streets.

 

This stuff is super-fast to learn… and highly effective in the field. It’s the easy way to get you trained for the streets fast… so you are suddenly a walking arsenal of brutal, lethal weapons.

 

Plus, you learn how to instantly turn on your "warrior mindset" and become ready for anything. Covering . . .
★ In deadly situations, you don’t have time for complicated fighting styles, fancy spinning kicks, or Hollywood-style stunts. Those things will get you killed for sure!
★ All the deadly power of these moves comes from extensions of the way your body naturally moves.
★ But, most importantly, we reveal "The Warrior Mindset." This is what separates the real fighters from the wannabes.

 

But… before you get this report, I must warn you that … this Fighting System is NOT for everybody! However… if you’re looking for a system that will help you and your loved ones walk away from dangerous situations alive and unharmed, this report is created just for you.

 

Don’t wait for something to happen. Grab this report now!

Next Page »

• 
• 
• 

• Social KRAPPS

  • Email
  • Twitter
  • FriendFeed
  • Flickr
  • YouTube
• 
• 
• 
•