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- Recap: Week Of March 8
- Crazy Frogs Jump For Their Lives – Dizzypad Game Review
- Fart Smeller iPhone App – Enough Said
- Get Your Shit Together Apple – Hooters App Approved, Banned, Re-Approved, Re-Banned
- “This Is My Gift To All Current And Future iPhone Users” – Fart Dialer
- Determined To Bring Sexy Back, Developer Forced To Publish ‘I Love Burgers’ Fetish App
- Overtly Sexual Apps Return – Apple Fails To Enforce New Policy?
- Recap: Week Of March 1 – plus App Star Awards 2nd Edition
- Go Ask Alice: Alice’s Adventures – Rabbit Hole Of Death iPhone Game
- Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz iPhone App – Why Didn’t We Think Of That?
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Get Your Shit Together Apple – Hooters App Approved, Banned, Re-Approved, Re-Banned
We reported in great detail Apple’s recent war on smut apps … over 5,000 “overtly sexual” applications removed, virtually shutting down the entire niche. Now any time you wipe out such a large number of targets, there’s bound to be some collateral damage. Innocent bystanders like the swimwear shopping application Simply Beach … the 12+ rated iPhone game Daisey Mae’s Alien Buffet … and the photo manipulation app Wobble … were all banned for having “overtly sexual” content. Only they did not. Apple realized their mistakes and quickly reinstated these offerings.
Which brings us to today’s “WTF Moment”, courtesy of Apple …
Hooters is an American restaurant chain that’s been around for about 30 years. Their specialties are chicken wings and attractive waitresses dressed in white tank tops and orange runner’s shorts. Like any savvy business, Hooters had a number of officially licensed iPhone applications available in the App Store.
On The Go Girls was one of the developers that partnered with Hooters and published the Hooters’ Calendar Sexy Screen Wash app. The app was released on January 21 and it quickly broke into the Top 100 of its category. So things were going great … until a month later, on February 18, D-Day for smut apps … Apple banned Hooters’ Calendar Sexy Screen Wash. In addition to their Hooters application, Apple removed all 50 applications from On The Go Girls … completely shutting them down and destroying their sole source of income.
But wait! Apple realized that removing the all-American Hooters app was a mistake … and a week later, on February 25, Hooters’ Calendar Sexy Screen Wash was re-approved for sale (with no change to its original content). Obviously a wise decision by Apple since the app skyrocketed into its category’s Top 25.
But wait! In typical bonehead fashion … less than two weeks later, Apple changed their mind once again and yesterday re-banned Hooters’ Calendar Sexy Screen Wash.
Seriously, this is getting ridiculous. Approved … Banned … Approved … Banned. Apple is acting like a neurotic pregnant woman. And why the re-ban? Allegedly Apple received numerous customer complaints about the Hooters app. LMAO … yeah, because Hooters Girls are so much more offensive than the ladies appearing in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit or Playboy applications (currently available for sale).
After the first ban, Fred Clarke, co-founder of On The Go Girls, stated in a New York Times interview (that Apple’s censorship), “goes farther than sexy content. For developers, how do you know you aren’t going to invest thousands into a business only to find out one day you’ve been cut off?”
Well Mr. Clarke probably should have taken his own advice. Speaking with him yesterday, he said, “We were reenergized when Apple reinstated our Hooters app and invested $5,000 for related development of the product line … only to be informed the app has been banned a second time. It’s a severe blow to our business, but we look forward to the challenge of succeeding in the App Store once again.”
Damn Fred! Is your glass always half-full? Are you always this happy-go-lucky? It’s ok to say it bro … repeat after us … FFFFUUU APPLE! Dude, not even the Double Jeopardy Clause in the US Constitution could save your ass from Apple. But then again, it should come as no surprise … this is Apple’s world, we just live in it.
[please note: while the above details the proceedings of the twice banned screen wash app … two other Hooters-themed applications have a similar saga – Hooters Calendar Girls Slideshow and 2010 Hooters Calendar Video.]
Determined To Bring Sexy Back, Developer Forced To Publish ‘I Love Burgers’ Fetish App
Besides eliminating 3% of all applications in the App Store, Apple’s removal of “overtly sexual” apps has had some interesting effects. For example, the remaining sexy apps benefited from a significant decrease in competition. The previously insignificant Swimsuit Calendar 2010 (not the Sports Illustrated version) saw its Lifestyle category ranking increase by 165 positions over the course of one week and is currently ranked 58th. FHM had a similar climb … up 144 spots in a week and is now the 10th most popular paid Lifestyle application.
Another effect of Apple’s massive rampage is the creativity and determination (desperation?) of developers attempting to bring sexy back into the App Store. We highlighted the cleaned up strip poker application … Poker vs. Strong Female Role Models … and the myCupcakes – myBuns euphemisms for tits and ass applications (which have now been banned). However, when it comes to arousing apps … it’s still slim pickings.
Slim pickings? – HA! Attention all you steamy content cravers … we have good news! Look there … there in the Lifestyle category … see it? The I Love Burgers application!
Oh yeah! Hundreds and hundreds of arousing pictures … women eating hamburgers! Indeed a glorious day in App Store history. Hot chicks, hot hamburgers, hot cheese … what can we say … it makes us hot!
Now granted, there is virtually no skin on display in I Love Burgers … but it’s Apple’s world, we just live in it. So take our advice fellow iPhone lovers … learn to lust the hamburger. Just look at these amazing hamburger pictures … so arousing, so racy, so sexy … uh, it’s so time to get an Android or become a monk.
Kim Kardashian Official iPhone App – Gives Users Glimpse Into Her Fabulous Life
So how about that … Kim Kardashian joins the ranks of our KRAPPS App and gets her very own iPhone app. Cleverly titled and obnoxiously long … The Official Kim Kardashian Application … launched yesterday with promises of an intimate experience with her hotness and per the app’s description, “a glimpse into Kim’s fabulous life”. Kim’s app seems more of a self-defense tactic against celebrity-crazed stalkers as it gives users the ability to make her wave, blow kisses or even start flirting. Plus if that doesn’t satisfy your Kardashian craving, users can read Kim’s lifestyle and beauty tips, submit questions for weekly Q&A sessions (we’ll see how long that lasts), watch videos (no perv, not those videos) or read any of her $10,000 tweets. But best of all, no matter where you are in the world … users can locate the nearest Sephora to rush out and purchase Kim’s new perfume. Now that is freaking worth the $1.99 price of the app alone!
Uh, hold on … rewind! What’s this whole interactive thing with the flirty business. We’ve carefully reviewed this aspect of the Kardashian app and frankly, we were horrified! While a one on one experience with the drop dead gorgeous socialite sounds promising … her virtual image is frighteningly hideous. Look at her! She freaks us out! Get away from us!
And not that we’re celebrity mongers or anything … but unless we missed the memo … last time we checked, Kim was happily married to Verizon and her totally cutesy pink Blackberry. Hmmm, maybe it’s just us and a case of not keeping up with the Kardashians … meh!
Wobble iBoobs Back On Sale For Your Jiggling Pleasures!
Yesterday in our “The Comedy Of Errors – Starring Apple” article, we reported that after realizing their mistakes, Apple reinstated two previously banned apps … Simply Beach and Daisey Mae’s Alien Buffet. These two apps were originally collateral damage in Apple’s war against smut apps.
Well it looks like Apple has corrected a couple of other OOOPS-ies. Yesterday Apple reinstated six previously banned Hooters apps, including the Hooters Calendar Screen Wash app we highlighted by publisher On The Go Girls.
And just now, we received word, that the once banned Wobble iBoobs and Wobble iBoobs (Premium) apps are now available for sale on the App Store. Well sort of … looks like there was a slight tweak in the app’s title … no iBoobs. Guess it’s less “overtly sexual” this way.
Stay tuned to KRAPPS as we’ll keep you abreast (see what we did there?) to any further developments in iSexGate 2010.
The Comedy Of Errors – Starring Apple
As previously reported, Apple finally broke their silence regarding last weekend’s massive removal of “overtly sexual” apps … “It came to the point where we were getting customer complaints from women who found the content getting too degrading and objectionable, as well as parents who were upset with what their kids were able to see,” Philip W. Schiller said in an interview with The New York Times.
Uh, ok. But what about apps like Playboy, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit, FHM, Maxim and others … these definitely contain “overtly sexual” content which kids should not view … why did Apple look the other way and not ban these apps? … “The difference is this is a well-known company with previously published material available broadly in a well-accepted format,” Schiller said. ERROR … translation – although these magazine apps contain titillating content, they will provide Apple a significant revenue stream from magazine subscriptions via the iPad once it arrives.
Uh, ok. But why did Apple ban a legitimate retailer’s online shopping application … Simply Beach … which sells bathing suits and rated 4+? ERROR … Apple made a mistake and they realized it. So without a word, not even to the publisher, Simply Beach mysteriously reappeared back on the App Store.
Uh, ok. But what about the 12+ rated game, Daisey Mae’s Alien Buffet … why was it pulled from the App Store? ERROR … once again, realizing their mistake, Apple reinstated Daisey Mae. Oh, and of course no word from Apple to the developer that their game was once again live (seems to be a common theme with Apple, this no communication thing).
Uh, ok. But yesterday, after Apple’s new “no smut apps allowed” policy … why did they approve the Girls Of Break.com app with its dental floss bikinis and bare asses images? ERROR … unless we missed the memo, Break.com is not “a well-known company with previously published material available broadly in a well-accepted format.”
Uh, ok. So Apple is cleaning up the App Store ahead of the iPad’s launch, which they are hoping to promote as a device for families and schools … yet the following Five Secrets app iTunes preview screenshot is approved for all ages to view? ERROR … trust us, it doesn’t matter how “well-known” the company is, no school will allow their students to read such a graphic description.
LOL …. Shakespeare could not have written it better.
Apple Finally Speaks Out – Sexy Apps From Well-Known Companies Ok
Last Friday we reported that Apple dropped another bomb in their war on smut apps. Numerous developers received email notices from Apple announcing a revision in guidelines and the removal of any “overtly sexual” content from the App Store. At that time, it was our notion that this round of banishments would be considered the most significant day in Apple’s war on smut.
And indeed our inkling came true. Within 72 hours, over 5,000 “overtly sexual” apps were pulled from the App Store, representing about 3% of the total number of apps in the Store.
Not only was Apple removing smut apps, but also wiping out entire publishing companies. One such company is On The Go Girls … as of Monday, all 50 of their applications were no 
longer available for sale, thus putting an end to their sole source of income.
Until today, Apple has been silent about this latest round of take downs. The New York Times reports that Philip W. Schiller, head of worldwide product marketing at Apple, said they were responding to complaints from App Store users.
“It came to the point where we were getting customer complaints from women who found the content getting too degrading and objectionable, as well as parents who were upset with what their kids were able to see,” Schiller said.
Schiller continued saying Apple had to prioritize its customers. “We obviously care about developers, but in the end have to put the needs of the kids and parents first,” he said.
Our question has always been … if Apple is removing “overtly sexual” apps, why do apps from Playboy, Sports Illustrated (Swimsuit), Maxim, FHM, Victoria Secret or Cosmopolitan (Sex Positions) still remain? Although it appears Schiller was not questioned about most of the apps we mentioned, he did speak specifically about the Sports Illustrated application.
“The difference is this is a well-known company with previously published material available broadly in a well-accepted format,” Schiller said.
So let’s get this straight … although Apple cares about developers, priority was given to the needs of kids and parents. HOWEVER … “overtly sexual” content from well-known companies (Playboy, SI, Maxim, etc.) take priority over kids and parents. Or another way of looking at Apple’s logic … if the boobs are well-known (Playboy, SI, Maxim, etc.) and available broadly in a well-accepted format, then it’s ok for kids and parents.
Sound logic? Debatable (not) … but one thing is clear, Playboy certainly benefits from Apple’s logic. Prior to the removal of 5,000+ smut applications, the Playboy app was in the #111 position for Top Overall Paid Apps. Four days later, Playboy sits comfortably in the #32 position … $$ KaChing $$
LOL @ Apple! While we realize it’s Apple’s business and they can do whatever the hell they want … let’s call a spade a spade. Apple is cleaning up the App Store ahead of the iPad’s launch, which they are hoping to promote as a device for families and schools. Large, well-known companies with titillating content like Playboy, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit, Maxim, etc. remain because they should provide significant revenue for Apple through magazine subscriptions via the iPad.
Sorry for being blunt … we would suck at being a public relations spin doctor.
Apple Drops The Final Bomb On Smut – All ‘Overtly Sexual’ Apps Removed
In case you missed our previous coverage, Apple has reversed their policy and is in the process of removing once approved smut applications from the App Store. Below is an overview of Apple’s efforts:
Friday, January 29: As detailed in our “Apple Reverses Policy, Begins Removing Smut” article, Apple sends developers a short email explaining their app(s) have been removed from sale due to customer complaints of inappropriate content … showing too much skin. While the exact criteria for “too much skin” is unknown, it seems only the most extreme apps were pulled … pasties and hand bras.
Thursday, February 11: Reported in our “Apple Continues War On Smut” article, Apple begins rejecting apps for displaying objectionable preview screenshots. Apple informs developers that … “the application screenshots must meet the requirements for a 4+ rating since these images are visible on the App Store by all users even when purchasing is restricted by the application’s rating.”
Yesterday, in what probably will be considered the most significant day in Apple’s war on smut, developers received the following email from the iPhone App Review team …
From: appreview@apple.com
Sent: Thursday, February 18, 2010 x:xx PM
To: <COMPANY NAME>
Subject: <APP NAME> Removed from Sale
Dear <COMPANY NAME>,
The App Store continues to evolve, and as such, we are constantly refining our guidelines. Your application, <APP NAME>, contains content that we had originally believed to be suitable for distribution. However, we have recently received numerous complaints from our customers about this type of content, and have changed our guidelines appropriately.
We have decided to remove any overtly sexual content from the App Store, which includes your application.
Thank you for your understanding in this matter. If you believe you can make the necessary changes so that <APP NAME> complies with our recent changes, we encourage you to do so and resubmit for review.
Sincerely,
iPhone App Review
As noted, in January, Apple only removed the most extreme smut apps. This time around … in a rather apologetic tone … Apple is removing “any overtly sexual content from the App Store.” KRAPPS received numerous emails from developers stating their apps were removed. Most were tame … you’d see more titillating content in a Maxim magazine.
The Asian Bikini Fart app, along with its Sexy, Black and Latina counterparts, have all been removed. These apps showed no excessive skin … they were simply still images of farting girls in bikinis.
The Dirty Fingers Screen Wash app has been removed. As detailed in our review, this app is a virtual iPhone screen cleaner … a girl, in a bikini, spraying and cleaning the screen.
Launched 13 months ago, the Wobble iBoobs app has also been removed. This app contains no sexual content. It’s photo manipulation software that lets you jiggle selected areas of images uploaded to the application. Static pictures become dynamic … jiggling Jell-O, swaying bridges and of course, bouncing boobs.
So it appears Apple is not just targeting photo smut apps. Sexy slider puzzles, sex positions, sexy scratch offs and many more … all have been removed. What remains to be seen is how consistent Apple will be with their new “overtly sexual content” policy. Will removals be arbitrary and subjective … or will Apple have the balls to remove such big name apps like Playboy, Sports Illustrated, Maxim and FHM … these apps certainly contain overt sexual content, yet still remain for sale (and considering the iPad, probably will always remain for sale).
Or better yet, developer On The Go Girls published both the Dirty Fingers Screen Wash and Hooters Calendar Sexy Screen Wash apps … Dirty Fingers pulled, Hooters remains – huh? Stay tuned for further developments.
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