Here’s to the crazy ones.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They’re not fond of rules.
And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them,
disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them.
Because they change things.
They invent. They imagine. They heal.
They explore. They create. They inspire.
They push the human race forward.
Maybe they have to be crazy.
How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?
Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written?
Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?
We make tools for these kinds of people.
While some see them as the crazy ones,
we see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to think
they can change the world, are the ones who do.
So did you get the memo from Gigaom about The App Store Economy … well, it’s really not a memo, more of an article. Anyways, Gigaom reports the App Store contains nearly 135,000 apps available for download made by over 28,000 developers. Yup … ONE HUNDRED THIRTY FIVE THOUSAND apps … simply put, that’s a shitload of applications!
To be honest, we were feeling a bit left out. It’s like everyone and their mother has an app … everyone except for KRAPPS. No app for you KRAPPS … you suck!
Well good news … we may still suck, but at least we now have an app. Our app was made possible by the dude (Arthur Anderson – we call him “Arty” since his name sounds too serious) who developed the “Call Someone A Douche Bag In 17 Different Languages” soundboard app (ADoucheBag) … and the creative geeks from Kneadle Design Studio (same folks who created the KRAPPS logo). So run, don’t walk … and check out
the official KRAPPS App [iTunes].
Look, we won’t kid you … the KRAPPS App does not contain boobs barely covered with pasties, farts, vomit, poop, shaken babies, bikini girls or other trendy features.
What it does provide are convenient updates to KRAPPS.com articles and our Twitter stream, including a humorous look into the crazy world of Apple and their whacky, weird, stupid and strange iPhone crap apps … Piss With Your iPhone app, Massacre Puppies app, Weigh Your Poop app, Sexy Girl Happy Finish Massage app and a ton more.
Oh and look, we spent the big bucks and paid for celebrity endorsements …
Dave Castelnuovo (Pocket God developer) says, “The robots are awesome and Megan Fox is super hot! Oh wait, we’re not talking about the Transformers? Umm, yea, the KRAPPS app is cool.”
Craig Robinson (Minipops artist & developer) says, “What the? This KRAPPS garbage get’s approved and my app is rejected?”
Todd Bernhard (9,999 Ringtones Uncensored) says, “I like KRAPPS. I was actually gonna name my app 100KRAPPS, but 100sounds seemed more family friendly.”
anonymous (Baby Shaker developer) says, “We hate KRAPPS. FFFUUU. You guys suck!”
Well if the celebrity endorsements didn’t sell you … how about the cool KRAPPS logo icon? Get that beautiful baby on your iPhone and chicks/hunks (depending on your sexual preference) will dig you! And if your still not sold … how about the price? All this kraptastic stuff is FREE – FREE – FREE.
Go be awesome … download the KRAPPS App now. We thank you for your support!
We wonder about stuff. Like what hair color do they put on the driver’s license of a bald man? Or why the alphabet is in that order? If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter? Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle? And if you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
But all these curiosities pale in comparison to our most puzzling mystery … how much does our poop weigh? Oh don’t laugh … at least we have the balls to admit that when we look into the bowels of the porcelain god, we often wonder the weight of our fecal matter. It’s a mesmerizing proposition and not something that can be satisfied by simply
pooping popping it on a scale.
So this is when your iPhone comes in handy. This is when putting up with all the annoyances of your sack of suck cellular (say that five times fast) provider, AT&T, finally pays off. Wondering how much crap weighs … this is when the uPoop app really
No, it’s not what you think. Pretty poop photography is not involved as the developers of uPoop, Harmonist Inc., have not unleashed the power of fecal recognition software. Rather, uPoop is a device that will calculate the weight of your bowel movements based on the food you have eaten.
Harmonist Inc. is comprised of four North Carolina State students with an affinity for predictive analytics and primal Wolfpack urges of pinching a loaf. So it totally makes sense that these brilliant minds collaborated to release a crappy calculator (you can read that however you want). In an official company statement, Harmonist Inc. claims that uPoop is a demonstration of the lighter side of the company … LOL, we won’t weigh in on that one (as usual, pun intended).
Admit it – you love boobs. You eat, sleep and breathe boobs. Halloween costume – Free Mammogram … Fashion statement – Boob Scarf … Method of transportation – Mini Boober. You’re all boobs – all the time … and that’s ok.
Really … it’s ok. Nothing wrong with being a boob aficionado. But what’s not ok is your choice of iPhone apps. What are you doing installing those sexy bikini girl apps? Those wallpaper apps filled with hundreds of scantily clad hot chicks … what’s the point? You are all boobs – all the time, right? So follow the logic … boobs = good … butt, legs, arms, head, hair, face = NOT good. Just cut the crap and focus on your #1 priority in life … boobs. What you need is the iBooB app … it’s like you, all boobs – all the time.
See that? There’s no distracting head … no flailing arms … no legs that go on for miles. Seriously, do you really need to see a face … meh.
And check it – the awesome developers put a tremendous amount of effort into iBooB. They collected hundreds of top quality boob pictures – all shapes and sizes. Large, small, huge or tiny … they’re all here. And for your convenience, all boobs are categorized by cup size.
iBooB – “the ultimate collection of boobs in the world” … and really, that’s ok?
Remember that yesteryear toy called Slime? Well, we guess … but unless you are a total toy geek or 107 years old, you probably don’t recall. Anywhoo, Slime was this oozy drippy green material that came in a little trash can. Kids basically just held and touched the stuff getting totally grossed out by its cold, wet and slimy feel. Gets kinda boring after 12 seconds, but that’s when child creativity takes over … throwing the shit all over the place was the best! Flinging green slime at your friends, on the wall or at the TV provided countless hours of entertainment. The real punks hurled slime at their mom, sister’s hair and at the ceiling or box fan (for maximum household damage).
Similar to another awesome toy, Silly String … Pocket Shot turns any gathering into a party! This game is perfect for killing time in your dorm room, fraternity or sorority house. Liven up a business meeting, Bible study class or traffic school. Everything from birthday to bachelor parties can be kicked up a notch with Pocket Shot.
Gameplay is simple. The key is to choose the right picture for the Pocket Shot target. A facial close-up provides maximum entertainment. Next you’ll have to pump your weapon. This is done by shaking your iPhone up and down really fast a bunch of times. Once loaded, you’ll need to aim your barrel. Finally, release the gooey slime by stroking the pump grip. Hopefully you have mad skillz and your blasted goo hits its facial target, scoring big points (and go ahead, brag about your score with in-app Twitter support).
Whoa now! Hold on … wait just a minute!
Hard pumping – Shake your iPhone up and down (fast!)
Stroke the pump grip – Show ‘em your O face as your shot is released
Uhhh – WTH is this? … your “O” face? We’re still talking about an iPhone app … RIGHT?!? Whatever … we’ll let the viewing audience decide … make your final verdict by watching the Pocket Shots promo video below … RIGHT?!?
Today we’d like to share a few of the more practical items available in the App Store. We figure with over 65,000 applications to choose from, a little help would be appreciated.
Ok … now that we’re alone, let’s talk girl stuff – your boobs. Have you ever been walking around or doing whatever, look down at your chest and suddenly realize … “hmm, I forgot my boob size”. Even worse … that dreaded “what’s my cup size?” feeling. Yeah, it’s horrible and something that should not be taken lightly. Well ladies, you’re in luck! You can now have the “What’s My Boob And Cup Size” utility always just a touch away with the BraSzCalc Bra And Cup Size Calculator app.
Now we get it … breast size can change over time: aging, pregnancy, augmentation, etc. And of course those overseas bra purchases are a major pain in the ass. So you see, this BraSzCalc really does come in handy … do some Overbust, mix in a little Underbust … and boom – never forget your bra and cup size again. Actually it would be even cooler if you could also use the app as a dedicated breast tape measure … hmmm.
Guys … did you put the flippin’ seat down? Good … sucks to get a cold wet ass when you’re simply trying to tinkle – GEEZ!
Now our next app is handy for both sexes. Picture this scenario … you’re at a gas station filling up your car. Suddenly you break out into a cold sweat panic … disturbing thoughts keep racing through your head … “am I a man or a woman?” You know what we’re talking about … we’ve all been there … nothing to be ashamed of. Because frankly, sometimes it’s hard to remember your sex. But no fear … simply download the What’s Your Real Gender app, answer a few questions … and voila, your gender is revealed (although judging by the user comments, this app might have a few bugs). Now we guess you could just as easily look down between your legs … but really, who wants to drop trow in the middle of a busy gas station. Nah, keep your underwear in place – use your iPhone.
So let’s say you’re not exactly thrilled with the results from the What’s Your Real Gender app … what’s a “girl” or “guy” to do? Just whip out that iPhone and install the handy dandy Gender Changer app. Granted, it won’t swap out your private parts … but at $1.99, Gender Changer is a hellluv a lot cheaper than a sex change operation and at least you’re one step closer to becoming the opposite sex. Or do you think Gender Changer is garbage based on the fact that close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades and slow dancing?
In conclusion, we sincerely hope these apps will add value to your life and clear up any current or future confusion. Huh?
We would like to take a brief timeout to thank our valued sponsors. Without their support, there would be no KRAPPS (uh, that doesn’t sound right). All these peeps are solid folks, have quality products and we’re proud to be aligned with them. So support KRAPPS, show our sponsors some love … you’ll become a better person.
Be Seen With KRAPPS
KRAPPS is the only web site dedicated to iPhone humor and fun. Take advantage of our unique niche by advertising on KRAPPS. We offer four different sponsorship packages to ensure participation at a variety of budget levels. Contact us at info@KRAPPS.com to receive our media kit, rate card and to secure your advertising placement.
Ow My Balls!
Ow My Balls! is a hysterical iPhone game centered around the mishaps of Joe The Juggler. Kick Juggler Joe off the ledge of a tall building … and he cries out – “OW MY BALLS!” As Joe falls, hit objects to score points and ignite the fart jetpack to make him travel the longest distance possible before making impact with the ground and crying out -
“OW MY BALLS!” This high quality game contains outstanding hand-drawn graphics, hilarious custom recorded sounds and user-friendly controls. Plus you have the ability to record your own “OW MY BALLS!” sound effect to use within the game. A bargain at only 99 cents … click here to purchase OW MY BALLS via iTunes or read our extensive review.
This app is a blast! To really appreciate iFight Pro [iTunes], click here and take a quick look at a demonstration video – it’s really cool. Combine a handgun, rifle, shotgun, slap, whip, gong, sword or punch with one of the eight background music tracks – and you’ll be awarded with a pure quality, enormously fun iPhone app.
With the amount of garbage in the App Store, the FREE hideNtweet app is a breath of fresh air. It is a totally unique and original game specifically designed for the iPhone. Think the classic children’s game Hide And Seek … now bring Hide And Seek to the iPhone, couple that with GPS technology and Twitter … and voila – hideNtweet. Click here to read our review. Better yet, experience this extraordinary gaming experience yourself – click here to download via iTunes for FREE.
There’s a reason 100sounds [iTunes] is the #1 soundboard app … cuz it rocks! This app not only provides hundreds of high quality originally recorded sound effects, but also includes loop and delay effects for all your comedic purposes. Plus you can get hundreds of ringtones emailed to you, automatically, at no extra charge! 100sounds was already a bargain at $0.99, so this enhancement makes it a great deal! Click here to view web site, be sure to check out the hysterical user-submitted videos.
DrinkTracker – The Breathalyzer iPhone App
Don’t drink and drive! True words, but easier said than done. This is where DrinkTracker [iTunes] comes into play – your personal “alcohol conscious” – helping you to drink responsibly. DrinkTracker calculates your blood alcohol content (BAC) based on your profile and updates every 60 seconds. This is an extremely feature-rich breathalyzer app and at $1.99, a no-brainer bargain buy. Click here for our review or visit the DrinkTracker site for complete details and a fantastic demo video.
Simply put, this app makes you smarter! Binary Game gets your brain juices flowing and is a ton of fun. It’s an original game of binary math which is simple to play and highly addictive. The worldwide leader board satisfies the most uber-competitive gamer, while the Facebook Connect feature pleases those social types. Click here to read our review or click here to purchase from the App Store, click here.
99 Games is an exceptional game developer cranking out such iPhone classics as WordsWorth (ranked as high #1 in the word game category), Chess Pro, Chess Lite, Aqua Jigsaw, and Jigsaw Wild. Their latest offering is Wordulous … an anagram like no others: multiple modes, global scores, Facebook Connect and more. 99 Games is committed to building only the highest quality and most entertaining games possible … all at affordable prices. Click here for our review.