Look At Me! I’m A Unicorn! – You Can Be One Too With Younicorn

Charlie-The-Unicorn We think it’s safe to assume that everyone loves unicorns. Why? Uh … because unicorns are awesome! They’re magical, they have shimmering hair, they come in pretty colors like pink and purple and also fart rainbows and glitter. Plus Charlie is a unicorn, he visits Candy Mountain and he totally rocks. Just think how much cooler you would look if you were riding a unicorn … pretty sweet, eh? Screw that … just think how much cooler you would be if you were a unicorn!

Well think no more – just do it with the indispensable new iPhone app …Younicorn … and we agree, it will “make everyday magical” by turning any photo into a unicorn.

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For some reason, Oprah is immensely popular … however we just don’t get it. Now if she had a long, pointy horn growing out of her head, we’d hit that … three times!

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Tiger Woods’ wife, Elin, sorta turned him into a unicorn. Yeah Tiger, you wish you had an awesome horn sticking out of your skull instead of a 3-iron.

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Many folks think Steve Jobs is God. Meh – he ain’t shit compared to Steve the Unicorn.

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Oh great, those obnoxious over-the-top parents will just love this … Younicorn your ultrasound. Shhh, don’t tell them, they suck enough without sticking their fetus with a bright and shiny object.

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And speaking of unicorns, be sure to check out the internet phenomena … Charlie The Unicorn (waiting for that app) … a video series about the adventures of Charlie and his two obnoxious oddball unicorn friends. Some may find it disturbing – but we sleep in Charlie The Unicorn pajamas (which itself is disturbing, but that’s not the point).

 

December 4, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment, Photography | 4 Comments 

Tiger Woods Scandal – The iPhone Plays An Integral Role

Yesterday the world’s first billion-dollar-athlete, Tiger Woods, issued a statement on his web site that pretty much confirmed what TMZ (and every other tabloid media) has been reporting since Thanksgiving … dude cheated on his wife.

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And while TMZ continues to run down every angle of the Tiger drama (Tiger’s wife confronted alleged mistress, Tiger leaves voicemail – “my wife is onto us”, 31-month affair, etc), we bring you the iPhone-side of the Woods saga.

The day started quite normal … Tiger woke up, kissed his wife good morning, took a leak, grabbed a cup of coffee and fired up a new iPhone app he downloaded last night …
Angel Or Devil? – the app which plans your day as being naughty or nice.

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Tiger was feeling a bit mischievous that morning and selected the Devil Card. And so the devilish affair with Jaimee Grubbs began.

But Tiger’s wife, Elin, is no dumbass. She also owns an iPhone and when she began noticing suspicious behavior by her husband, she launched the sexist Is He Cheating? app to find out if Tiger was using his utility club on anyone else’s golf course (so to speak). Disturbingly the meter read … are you in denial?

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The rest of the story has been well documented. Tiger crashes his Cadillac Escalade … Elin smashes car window and rescues Tiger … Tiger ends up in the hospital …police investigations … and the aforementioned admission of wrongdoings.

So now it’s time for the Woods family to heal. And of course the iPhone is there to help through these troubled times. Tiger will use the Confess app to anonymously confess your sins to the world and makes his life better … as the app states, “it is a proven fact that confessing will make your life better.” Once finished with Confess, Tiger will “correct a wrong and gain forgiveness from a person who is wronged” with the Repentance app.

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Of course it ain’t that simple … per the Heaven And Hell app, Tiger has some more work to do. Start with the Singing Bowl And Prayer app and mix in the
A Good Deed A Day app (“helps you to become a better person” ) and Tiger will be back on the road to salvation (just don’t crash into a fire hydrant this time dude) in no time.

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We know it won’t be easy, but it’s important for Elin to let go of those negative emotions she has towards Tiger. By letting go, she will regain peace, happiness and a strong loving relationship with her husband. This healing process should be constructive, healthy and safe … which is why the FaceFighter app is just what the doctor ordered … Elin will certainly heal better by beating the shit out of a virtual Tiger.

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[that’s it … move along … nothing more to see here … we used FaceFighter as the punchline of this article … pun totally intended]

December 3, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment, News | 4 Comments 

Screw Prozac! This Cleavage Mania App Guarantees Happiness

Today we look at a new app called …. Tanimania. We’ll let Tanimania do most of the talking since the developer, Kayac Inc., prepared a superb and informative description.

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Awfully nice of Kayac to thank us for waiting …. gee these guys are swell. And damn, guess we missed the memo since honestly, we didn’t even know we were waiting for a photo retouch application. Hmmm, is it just us or is there some kind of subliminal thing going on with Tanimania’s icon? Like all of a sudden we have a craving for an order of Hooters chicken wings. A closer look …

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Hey, wait a second … those are BOOBS! Seriously, look closely … we see cleavage. Damn those Kayac guys are smart marketers … but we digress. Let’s read on …

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Ahhh … starting to make sense. The subliminal Hooters craving … the boob shot icon … the foreign title “Tanimania” … it’s all about CLEAVAGE MANIA baby!

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Well duh … thank you Mr. Obvious … “This application makes you happier by retouching cleavage of your picture even sexier automatically” … translated – screw Prozac … boobs are the ultimate antidepressants – boobs make you happier.

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apple-boobs WTH – there you go Kayac … you just had to ruin a “happy” thing with your weird ass shit imagination. We were totally fine with taking pics of our various lady friends and giving them some extra “happy” … so why get creative on us? Animal boobs? Sorry … no interest in black bear or poodle boobs. Food boobs? Are you f**cking serious? Like apple, pizza and creme brulee boobs? All kinds of materials? Two-by-four and drywall boobs? No, no, no Kayac … wrongmodo! Bad idea to ask your creativity … if you’re gonna gawk at boobs, they belong on one kind of material – GIRLS.

But hey, who are we to judge? If kangaroo boobs make you happy, cuter and sexier … go for it! Watch the Tanimania demo video and then ask your creativity to find a good one! Enjoy!

 

December 2, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment, Photography | 11 Comments 

Santa Goes On a Killing Spree In Trigger Happy Christmas

For the most part, KRAPPS features applications from the outer edges of the App Store. The whacky, weird, stupid and strange … crappy apps. And since we’re not your typical iPhone site, you can pretty much pocket your money, skip over the apps we feature and save up for the $100 You Are Rich app.

However on occasion, we do highlight apps that are so insane and ridonkulous … we end up totally in love with these social misfits. Stuff like the Ow My Balls game … Killa Kitties From Compton … or the brilliant Beavis and Butthead homage, Mr. Dumb Toilet. Oh and add this new iPhone game to the loony bin … Trigger Happy Christmas.

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LMAO … just in time for the Holidays, Santa goes on a killing spree. Seems Santa’s helpers went psycho (or still pissed about the Elf Bowling game Santa created) and hijacked his sleigh … spilling Christmas Day presents all over the place. To make matters worse, these little bastards are trying to steal the gifts once they hit the ground. But Santa is a bad mofo … he’s got weapons … shot guns, flamethrowers, grenade launchers … all sorts of shit that blow those wicked elves to smithereens. Warning … small children may experience nightmares from playing Trigger Happy Christmas … if you suck, Santa will die!

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Now trust us when we say “smithereens”. You’ve got decapitated heads flying, brains and guts spilling, body parts everywhere … all while the lily white snow becomes a bloody red mess. The more psycho elf carnage means more presents saved … thus increasing your score. Speaking of score … Trigger Happy Christmas features an online scoreboard so you can see where you rank among the world’s best elf slayers. And since Facebook and Twitter are so uber trendy these days, Trigger Happy Christmas allows you to share your kills on these two social media sites.

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And for something completely different (deranged) … you can send Trigger Happy Christmas-themed e-cards via email client … make these your Christmas cards for family and friends who need further proof that you are a total nut job. Speaking of nuts … the roasted elf version rocks!

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Sometimes iPhone chaos works … and in the case of Trigger Happy Christmas, developers Games Faction (also makers of Inkvaders) have created PERFECT iPhone chaos. So to darken your cheery Holidays just a tad, check out Trigger Happy Christmas for 99 cents [iTunes] in the outer edges of the App Store.

 

December 1, 2009 | Filed Under Games | 1 Comment 

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