-
-
-
-
Search
SUBSCRIBE
-
Recently Written
- Here’s To The Crazy Ones
- Despite Female Moans, SexLife Trailer Fails To Arouse [Video]
- Wii iPhone 4 iOS Home & Lock Screen Wallpaper Set [Download]
- Slap A Sexy Belly, Make Music, Huh? – Belly Jam iPhone App [Video]
- Adventure, To The Max! [iPhone Game Review]
- epic – The Toolbox iPhone iOS 4 Home & Lock Screen Wallpaper Set [Download]
- Recap Week Of January 3
- Sexy Star Wars Pinups – EWWW!
- Weird Stuff From Japan – iPhone 4 Sushi Case
- MegaMan iPhone iOS 4 Home Screen Wallpaper Collection [Download]
-
Categories
-
Archives
- August 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010
- August 2010
- July 2010
- June 2010
- May 2010
- April 2010
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008
-
Warning: Party In My Pants App Can Cause Injury!
As a courtesy to our readers, we would like to you about a new iPhone applications that simply does not work … and in some circumstances, could lead to bodily injury. It’s a shame that Apple doesn’t have the foresight to anticipate such issues and protect its customers from such whack.
Party In My Pants is one of the many iPhone apps available to help you hook up with hot chicks. These apps contain cheesy pick up lines ( …… ) that typically only work in a drunken douchebag environment like Jersey Shore. However Party In My Pants raises the dumbass bar to a new low … and would even fail miserably in bagging the most inebriated skank, bimbo or guidette.
Now you might think we sound harsh … but don’t cry … just read the app’s description for the ultimate crap in pickup line apps.
Imagine, if you will, the following scenario:
– Guy spots cute girl across the bar.
– He fires up Party In My Pants and spins the mirror ball. On command, the party commences, and he drops his iPhone into his pocket. Nicely done!
– Guy approaches girl. The girl, enticed by the noise and vibration emanating from his jeans pocket, asks him, "What’s happening with your jeans?"
– Guy pulls out iPhone and shows girl. "Why, it’s a Party In My Pants, and You’re Invited!"
LMAO … shove iPhone down your pants and invite her to the party (assuming she even gives you the time of day) … yeah, that’ll work – every time!
What Party In My Pants doesn’t describe in the above scenario is the bitch slap beat down you’ll receive after you utter the words … “Party In My Pants – You’re Invited” … OUCH!
Porn Abundant In “I Show Off” App – Apple Fails To Enforce Their New Guidelines [NSFW]
Nine-time Olympic gold medalist Carl Lewis once said …. “Life Is All About Timing” … we couldn’t agree more.
Yesterday, in an attempt to make the app review and approval process less arbitrary, Apple released a set of guidelines to its developers. This official document from Apple is pretty hysterical as they try to be all hip, cool and non-corporate with their language … “We have over 250,000 apps in the App Store. We don’t need any more fart apps.”
Apple has always had a zero-tolerance policy for porn and nudity in the App Store … frequently banning nudie apps which somehow managed to get by Apple’s watchful eye:
06/25/09 – Hottest Girls … 07/01/09 – BeautyMeter … 07/30/09 – theXchange … 08/21/09 – Check myHottie … 09/15/09 – My X Girlfriend … 01/21/10 – forChan … 05/12/10 – Top Secret 2, Model Pose and Model Pose 2
Apple has now made their “No Porn Allowed” policy even clearer as Section 18 of the new App Store Review Guidelines document is dedicated to pornography …
18. Pornography
18.1 Apps containing pornographic material, defined by Webster’s Dictionary as "explicit descriptions or displays of sexual organs or activities intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings", will be rejected
18.2 Apps that contain user generated content that is frequently pornographic (ex "Chat Roulette" apps) will be rejected
Which brings us back to Carl’s “Life Is All About Timing” … LMAO … publish as many rules and guidelines as you want Apple, but if you can’t enforce them, your official policies don’t mean shit.
I Show Off, by Blue Sky Software, is an iPhone app which has been around for the past seven months (and is about to get banned). It’s one of those user-generated content applications where you upload a picture from within the app … the developer approves it … the image is published to the app … and the user community votes it yay or nay.
The whole “approve images before going live” concept is sound … however in reality, it’s pretty ineffective … Apple has been burned way too many times by this workflow (see our list of banned apps 4 inches above). User-generated images frequently translate to nudes and porn … as evident in the buttload of naked chick pics within I Show Off that have been there for months (displayed are some of the “tamer” selections).
“We have over 250,000 apps in the App Store. We don’t need any more fart apps” … you betcha Apple … and we can’t wait to report the next fart app you approve following this “no more farts” guideline (wait for it … it’ll happen – after all, this is Apple we’re talking about).
Fart Studio Makes A Stink With Its Hysterical iPad Spoof Commercial [Video]
Nowadays we rarely write about fart apps … there are 27 bajillion of them, most suck and frankly, fart apps are so 2008 … <yawn> why bother?
But once in a blue moon, a fart app breaks wind that piques our interest and is deemed KRAPPStastic … like the recently released Fart Studio app [iTunes $0.99].
Fart Studio is a universal app which takes farting to a whole new level. It’s been called “the Cadillac of fart apps” and credited to having raised farting to an art form. With features like stealth farts, remote farts, visual effects and more … Fart Studio is positioned to be the leader in Methane iBombs.
But rather than bore you with a detailed Fart Studio write-up, we encourage you to check out the hysterical Apple iPad spoof commercial created by Fart Studio developers Conniption Entertainment. We’re not really sure what’s more impressive … the cutting edge technology behind Fart Studio … or the fact that Conniption could come up with 4 minutes and 36 seconds of ridonkulous material.
Football In The Groin Painfully Delivers 25 Reasons To Protect Your Genitals
Football In The Groin joins the ranks of the hysterically epic and former #1 iPhone game, Ow My Balls, in celebrating the most painful experience known to mankind … being hit in the genitals.
But unlike Ow My Balls, the nutshots of Football In The Groin are not packaged into a cool game or some other clever delivery method. Nope – cut the foreplay and just give us the excruciating good stuff … ball meets groin … over and over and over again. 25 of the most painful and hilarious videos to be exact … all packaged neatly into Football In The Groin for your viewing convenience.
These crotch clutching videos range from soccer to football, hockey to baseball … with appropriate titles such as “This Kid Will Never Have Children”, ”Beckham Versus The Scrotum” and “Baseball Hits Nuts.”
Football In The Groin made us laugh, wince and throw up a little in our mouth. It’s the kind of app that’s so wrong, it just works on so many levels here at KRAPPS … ouch!
Essential “I’m Crushing Your Head” Functionality Now Available On iPhone With AutoCrush
I’m Crushing Your Head! … I’m Crushing Your Head!
Who doesn’t love to hold their hands up to their eyes and pretend to crush an opponent? If you remember the hysterical Head Crusher skit from the Canadian comedy group, The Kids in the Hall, you know what fun this can be.
But after a while, your hand gets tired … fingers get numb … and you lose the ability to properly deliver the flathead pinch. AutoCrush [iTunes $0.99] solves this problem and adds Pinching and Squeezing options too! Plus it’s easy on your vocal chords since you can touch anywhere in the preview area and hear over 20 funny phrases at random.
AutoCrush uses the iPhone’s built-in camera and overlays animated male or female hands crushing, pinching or squeezing. If your iDevice doesn’t have a camera, a photo of a hot chick is provided so you can crush, pinch and squeeze her all day … and she won’t complain. So save yourself a sexual harassment claim and get your AutoCrush on!
The endless antics with AutoCrush is available for $0.99 via the App Store … and proof the fun does NOT have to stop after elementary school. Be sure to check out the AutoCrush demo video below and a classic Headcrusher skit from The Kids in the Hall.
Sex Education App Uses Sexually Explicit Yet Acceptable Icon
You just never know what will get approved on the App Store …
German-based application developers, Lagenscheidt KG, have discovered the secret formula of including sexually explicit images in iPhone apps. Check out there new sex education app Sex-Deutsch …
Got it? Humans having sex = not ok … Bugs having sex = ok. Because after all, how could anyone say no to boinking bugs (sooo cuuuute)?
Sicko For iPhone Lives Up To Expectations – Grossest App In The App Store
[WARNING: do not read this article before, during or immediately after a meal – thank you for your attention in this matter]
First came the fart apps … followed by vomit … then the overtly sexual bikini girl apps … with some psychic healer applications thrown in for good measure. Let’s hope this next app doesn’t start a new App Store copy cat trend … Sicko.
Nothing really clever or slick about Sicko … it’s exactly as the app describes:
The most disgusting, horrifying and gross medical images around. Gross yourself and your friends out with blood and gore and many horrific and shocking injuries and infections.
THE SICKEST APP IN THE APP STORE!
The only purpose of Sicko is to serve up healthy portions of gunshot wounds, tooth decays, open sores, gangrene and an assortment of other appetizing pleasantries.
Although we completely disagree with the positioning of the app … we highly recommend Sicko to all those demented freaks who get off on these types of shocking and disturbing images. However like we said … the app is being marketed all wrong. Sell Sicko as a “curb your appetite” / “weight loss” application and you’re in for App Store $$ GOLD $$ !
-
-
-
-
Social KRAPPS
-
-
-
-
Email
Twitter
FriendFeed
Flickr
YouTube
