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- Here’s To The Crazy Ones
- Despite Female Moans, SexLife Trailer Fails To Arouse [Video]
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- Adventure, To The Max! [iPhone Game Review]
- epic – The Toolbox iPhone iOS 4 Home & Lock Screen Wallpaper Set [Download]
- Recap Week Of January 3
- Sexy Star Wars Pinups – EWWW!
- Weird Stuff From Japan – iPhone 4 Sushi Case
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iPopcorn Popper App – Will It Pop? [Video]
Back in 2008, the notion of popping popcorn with cell phones started to circulate. Videos could be found all over the Internet of popcorn kernels surrounded by these ancient looking cell phones (what’s a RAZR and why did it cost $200?) … the owners would call their phones at the same time … and a few seconds later, the kernels would begin to pop.
MEH! Not impressed … how many cell phones does it take to pop popcorn? Well back in 2008, it took at least three cell phones to make popcorn … and that’s because the revolutionary iPhone with its 250,000+ magical applications was not available. These days, it takes one iPhone, coupled with a special app, to make our favorite healthy snack (bonus points if you can find The Annoying Orange in the video – for some reason, geeks really dig this game)
However as cool as the iPhone popcorn popper app may be … we’re still waiting for the nacho cheese melter application to satisfy our South Of The Border craving.
Are You A Dead Lay? Super Hero Sex App To The Rescue!
Let’s talk about sex (baby) …
Experiencing the bedroom blues? Is there no motion in your ocean? Do you resemble road kill between the sheets?
Look, maybe it’s not your fault … perhaps playing a dead body on CSI has taken over you life and now you’ve become an actual dead lay (ewww). But no worries – Apple feels your pain and has just approved a new app that will rid you of your jellyfish ways …
Super Hero Sex to the rescue!
The Super Hero Sex app promises to deliver detailed instructions on the positions women enjoy the most. For a mere $1.99, you’ll get audio and visual clips demonstrating each erotic position. And of course the app’s big sell …
Pull these [sex positions] off and
you will be her Super Hero!
Superhero Sex … WOW! SOLD! … we’re downloading it today so we can start having a SUPER HERO sex life!
LMAO … not sure who’s the bigger numb nut … the peeps who wrote the app’s cheesy description or the buyers of this erotic sexual application.
Pocket God Comics Now Available – First Comic Book From An Original iPhone App
Besides the Miley Cyrus Legal Age Countdown app, one of our favorite iPhone applications is Pocket God [iTunes $0.99]. If you’re not familiar with this bestselling app … uh well … your kinda totally blowing it. Pocket God is a hilarious interactive application (filled with a ton of mini-games) where you play god and rule an island populated with primitive pygmies … being as kool or krappy as you want to your peeps. Developers Bolt Creative work their asses off keeping Pocket God fresh and fly … releasing updates every few weeks … 32 of them since Pocket God first launched 18 months ago in January 2009.
Pocket God has established a cult following and is really one of the best and original apps available in the App Store. Spend a buck – check it out … Pocket God is a must have!
But perhaps due to their attention-deficit disorder (ADD), the Pocket God developers are not satisfied working 20 hours a day to keep up with their Usain Bolt-like pace of application updates (damn, just dawned on us … Bolt Creative / Usain Bolt … coincidence? – we think not!) … nope, they had to go out and take on another HUGE project – Comic Books. Just released a few hours ago … Pocket God Comics [iTunes $0.99].
Pocket God Comics is the first original iPhone application to get its own comic book. This digital comic is the first issue in a 4-part series (perhaps even more) available for both the iPhone and iPad … additional issues will be available via in-app purchase.
Besides the historic first edition Pocket God comic, the app contains a comic shop locator … just press the button and you’ll be able to find your local comic book shops. Why would you want to do this? Because Pocket God Comics is also available as a real live comic book … the kind made out of paper and ink and you get to turn the pages (remember those?). The print version will be released shortly and run a mere $3.95. If for some reason you live in the middle of boo-foo Egypt, you can pre-order Pocket God #1 and #2 (due out Oct. 27) over at Previews World.
Bolt Creative is also running a contest … one lucky bastard will win a $1,000 Apple Gift Certificate while everyone who enters the contest receives a Jet Pack unlock code. Check out the Pocket God Blog for more information.
Being the huge Pocket God fans we are … digital issue #1 has already been downloaded to our revolutionary iPhone 4 and magical iPad. The artwork is AMAZING, the storyline is SUPERB … 22 pages of pure Pocket God awesomeness. There really is no reason not to spend 99 cents for this historic digital issue #1 … as well as jump on the inaugural print issue. Hell, have you seen the insane price of Superman / Action Comics #1? Yeah, we’re thinking collector’s edition … Pocket God #1 + eBay = RETIREMENT!
Miley Cyrus Legal Age Countdown For iPhone … And The App Store Is Now Complete
While this next app may appeal to the millions of little girls, tweens and teenage boys who drool over Miley Cyrus’ every move … let’s not be naive. You know damn well all those Maxim perverts and dirty old men are downloading it to celebrate Miley becoming legal … and wishfully hoping for the “Hannah Montana Gone Wild” video after the app expires on November 23, 2010 (in 112 days).
Sorry … the Miley Cyrus 18th Birthday Countdown app is too creepy, cheesy and bubble gummy for our taste … ewww. But if you insist … save yourself a buck and visit –> IsMileyLegal.com
But at least Apple hasn’t approved a Justin Bieber legal age countdown application … yet.
Parents Can Be Such Assholes – plus Recap Week Of July 26
Subscribe to our RSS feed and/or download the free KRAPPS iPhone app … it’ll make you feel better!
In case you missed any of our perfect iPhone chaos, quick links to this week’s articles.
July 26: OMG! Double Rainbow All The Way Now Appearing In The App Store For Free!
July 27: The Legend Of Zelda iPhone iOS 4 Wallpaper [Download]
July 28: The Evolution Of Steve Jobs And Apple
July 29: New App Helps Users Achieve An Orgasm (Not A “Massage” App)
July 30: People Of Walmart Official iPhone App – It’s New, It’s FREE!
July 31: Farts, Zombies, Evil Unicorn, Pope, Chuck Norris, Hitler – All In One Epic iPhone Game
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Creative Parenting?
Watching Porn + Smoking Pot = Public Humiliation?
(via Buzzfeed)
People Of Walmart Official iPhone App – It’s New, It’s FREE!
Attention people of Wal-Mart … your official iPhone app has arrived! And in true Wal-Mart fashion (we use the term loosely), you’ll enjoy 100% rollback savings … it’s FREE!
In case you’re clueless about the awesomeness at PeopleOfWalmart.com, let us fill you in … it’s awesome! People of Walmart is a hysterical website that “celebrates” the world’s largest retailer by featuring pictures of its whack job shoppers. Stuff like … mom pulling child by hair – kid eating a booger – man in underwear being taze by police … and so much more dumbassness unique to the world’s largest retailer, Wal-Mart.
So now People of Walmart joins Cult of Apple … with its official iPhone application. But don’t try to find it in the App Store … it ain’t there – well sort of. Seems the folks at People of Walmart anticipated some shit might go down with the lawyer dorks at Wal-Mart and preemptively changed their app’s name to Feature Creature [iTunes Free] [Apple has banned app, see update below]
Although the name sucks, make no mistake … the app is pure People of Walmart brilliance. Uh, well, that’s because Feature Creature is the People of Walmart website, but in a cool iPhone format … complete with swipe for next post or shake for a random post.
Aside from the convenient viewing of Wal-Mart freaks, the People of Walmart Feature Creature (seriously, WTF kind of name is that?) app allows users to snap photos and upload their own contributions to People of Walmart … assuming you’re brave enough to step foot into a Wal-Mart and can tolerate that lingering stench of human feces mixed with bleach that’s present at every single Wal-Mart location.
In conclusion, we only have one question … why are you still here?!? Click this revolutionary hyperlink [Apple has banned app, see update below] and download the official People of Walmart app right now for FREE. Then come back tomorrow for more iPhone chaos here at KRAPPS.
UPDATE – Looks like someone’s panties got in a bundle! Unfortunately the app has been pulled by Apple. We are attempting to find out why Feature Creature was so offensive.
New App Helps Users Achieve An Orgasm (Not A “Massage” App)
Similar to our retro games iPhone iOS 4 wallpaper collection, we are accumulating quite a few “magical” applications. The reason we label these apps “magical” is because when we launch them, they do “magical” things to us … our boobs get bigger, hair grows faster, warts fall off our bodies, we lose weight, our penis gets erect and we quit smoking … seriously, no kidding – all these things happen to us because there’s a “magical” app for that!
Now in case you didn’t notice, the fifth “magical” effect was … our penis gets erect. Which is all fine and dandy, but who the hell wants to walk around with an erect penis all day … it ain’t all that. So in all honesty, we really don’t use the Fire Up Your Sex Drive app that much. Uhhh, that is until now … used with the Hypnosis To Enhance Orgasm Potential app … you be like a living, breathing, real life porn star!
Benjamin DeFoor is the developer of this hypno orgasm app … dude is an ACTUAL hypnotherapist who knows what he’s doing! Right there on his website it says … “All these apps work and are made by me, an ACTUAL Hypnotherapist.”
So yeah … it ACTUALLY works and helps you achieve an orgasm …
Like we alluded to … combine the Fire Up Your Sex Drive all day erection app with Benjamin’s orgasm app … it would behoove Vivid Entertainment to purchase iPhones and this application combo for all their male employees.
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