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- Here’s To The Crazy Ones
- Despite Female Moans, SexLife Trailer Fails To Arouse [Video]
- Wii iPhone 4 iOS Home & Lock Screen Wallpaper Set [Download]
- Slap A Sexy Belly, Make Music, Huh? – Belly Jam iPhone App [Video]
- Adventure, To The Max! [iPhone Game Review]
- epic – The Toolbox iPhone iOS 4 Home & Lock Screen Wallpaper Set [Download]
- Recap Week Of January 3
- Sexy Star Wars Pinups – EWWW!
- Weird Stuff From Japan – iPhone 4 Sushi Case
- MegaMan iPhone iOS 4 Home Screen Wallpaper Collection [Download]
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New iPhone App Talks Dirty, Turns You On With Fruit
Please listen carefully to the following (yeah, we know you’re reading this – just go with it): “Plum” … “Strawberry” … “Lime”.
So, how do you feel? You’re turned on, aren’t you? Come on … admit it! Hearing those fruit names ignites your flames of passion and desire from deep within. “STRAWBERRY” … damn that’s sexy fine (we all better take a cold shower)!
LMAO. Similar to our Sexy Alphabet iPhone app article, in which the 26 letters of the alphabet are spoken by a professional voice model in a sexual and sophisticated way, now appearing in the App Store … Sexy Fruit.
Sexy Fruit boasts the services of “the devilishly sexy professional voice talent of Debrah Massi!!” Who we bet is really a guy … just like those dudes on 1-900-SEXY-PHONE-CHAT … no offense David Debrah, but mix-in a little Jenna Jameson and we might bite (see what we did there?). Users can choose from 20 different fruit names and hear David Debrah speak in “the sexiest voice you’ve ever heard” … turning their iPhones into a healthy, low calorie aphrodisiac.
Folks, keep an eye on Sexy Fruit developer Lowell Duke. We really feel he’s an up and coming talent and has stumbled upon a goldmine. With the assistance of David Debrah, just think about the endless sexy possibilities … Sexy Countries app – “Mexico”, “Croatia”, “Japan” (oh that’s sooo good) … Sexy Colors app – “Violet”, “Green”, “Blue” (mmm, yeah baby) …. Sexy Days Of The Week app – “Tuesday”, “Saturday” (yes, yes, yes) … and of course, stirring up visions of the carrot scene in Fast Times At Ridgemont High (didn’t see it? – go rent the movie now!) … Sexy Vegetables.
The iPhone Blows! – No Seriously, It Does
By now you’ve heard the iPhone does some pretty amazing stuff … cures baldness – starts your car – repels mosquitoes – shakes your fat molecules resulting in weight loss. Heck, it’s even been reported that the iPhone saved some gal’s life from a bear. Indeed, the iPhone is truly revolutionary … we love it!
And the iPhone simply cannot be contained … it just keeps getting more incredible. This past weekend, a one-of-a-kind application was launched that pushes the iPhone’s functionality and awesomeness even further … Blower.
So there you have it … exactly what you’ve always wanted from your iPhone (but didn’t know it) … to blow REAL air. For only 99 cents, this mind-blowing (pun intended) functionality will turn your iPhone into a snow blower, a cooling fan, a blowdryer … we guess. You can even blow up dolls and balloons, fan a fire or blow into your lover’s ear … we guess. Don’t believe us? Check out the “You Have To See It To Believe It” demo video below.
Hmmm … “interesting”. Judging by the soothing noise the Blower app emits, not sure which will explode first … the actual iPhone or your head. Meh, not impressed. Call us back when the iPhone sucks … replacing our overpriced Dyson. Thank you very much!
iBooB – More Boob, Less Face Please
Admit it – you love boobs. You eat, sleep and breathe boobs. Halloween costume – Free Mammogram … Fashion statement – Boob Scarf … Method of transportation – Mini Boober. You’re all boobs – all the time … and that’s ok.
Really … it’s ok. Nothing wrong with being a boob aficionado. But what’s not ok is your choice of iPhone apps. What are you doing installing those sexy bikini girl apps? Those wallpaper apps filled with hundreds of scantily clad hot chicks … what’s the point? You are all boobs – all the time, right? So follow the logic … boobs = good … butt, legs, arms, head, hair, face = NOT good. Just cut the crap and focus on your #1 priority in life … boobs. What you need is the iBooB app … it’s like you, all boobs – all the time.
See that? There’s no distracting head … no flailing arms … no legs that go on for miles. Seriously, do you really need to see a face … meh.
And check it – the awesome developers put a tremendous amount of effort into iBooB. They collected hundreds of top quality boob pictures – all shapes and sizes. Large, small, huge or tiny … they’re all here. And for your convenience, all boobs are categorized by cup size.
iBooB – “the ultimate collection of boobs in the world” … and really, that’s ok?
Steve Jobs Releases His First-Ever iPhone App?
Fresh off his Fortune Magazine CEO of the Decade crowning achievement, Apple’s beloved frontman, Steve Jobs, has decided to join the 100,000+ iPhone applications with his own contribution. After a crash course in Objective C and instant approval (Apple law … when Steve Jobs makes an app, no approval is required), Steve Jobs released his fist-ever iPhone application … Steve God Knows.
And really, was there ever a dispute? Steve Job’s God’s company is valued at $170 billion … Apple stock is at an all-time high … cult members everywhere are being inked with Apple logos. Hell, dude even kicked cancer’s ass.
So yeah, no doubt about it … Steve Jobs God is God!
A Talking Beer – Quickest Way To Jack Up Your Kid
The folks at Gigabyte Solutions love children. In fact, they love them so much that a portion of their software business is dedicated to children’s iPhone apps. Just like that oversized purple freak named Barney … Gigabyte has stumbled upon a winning formula of kiddy appeal … talking characters. Stuff like talking spiders, talking cows, talking apples, talking footballs, talking monkeys and more. When the user speaks, the app’s character mimics the voice with a moving mouth.
However, not everyone at Gigabyte is on board with the “kids rock” notion. It appears some mofo at the company actually despises children and managed to slip in a talking character that guarantees a lifelong disturbing effect on the child … meet the A Talking Beer app.
This bastard Gigabyte employee even went as far as encouraging parents to have the Talking Beer read bedtime stories to their child …
Sit me beside you when reading a bedtime story and watch your child’s face light up with joy that I am reading them a story.
WTF Gigabyte? – FAIL! Uh no, children are not enamored with talking beers … not to mention the fact that it’s kinda a bad idea to introduce alcohol as a form of entertainment to kids. Well unless you are a fan of jail. What’s next for the children Gigabyte? … Talking Cigarettes, Talking Hookers, Talking Condoms … all very age appropriate, don’t cha think?
Well, guess it could be worse. Gigabyte could team up with Autopsy The Clown and release a series of talking X-rated balloon characters … starting with Talking Humpity Hump Dogs. Oh that’s just SO wrong! <sorry>
AutoRingtone PRO – Because The Same Old Musical Ringtones Are So 2000-And-Late!
Look, we get it. Your phone is ringing. And you’re totally awesome because you have the latest from Beyonce as a custom ringtone. You and a million other Beyonce fans (including Kanye West). A custom ringtone isn’t custom if everyone else has it and you still have to remember which contact each song is associated with. Total hassle … why bother?
“Imma let you finish, but AutoRingtone is the best ringtone of all time!”
Enter AutoRingtone PRO [iTunes]. You type … the app talks … in over 20 voices! You can have unique spoken Caller ID for every single one of your contacts and choose from a wide variety of voices including UK, USA, Male, Female, Robot, Space Alien or even synthesized singing voices, like T-Pain AutoTune-style! You’ll be the only one with that ringtone, for shizzle, my nizzle!
Hmmm … custom user-generated ringtones? Uh, this could get crazy cool … everything from professional to hilariously obscene!
>> “Hey baby, your phone is ringing. Your lovely wife is calling”
>> “Imma let you finish but your phone is ringing. Your home girl, Taylor, is calling”
>> “Batman, your phone is ringing. Robin is calling”
>> “Hey Pimp Daddy, your phone is ringing. Your number one sweetie is calling”
See that … the possibilities are endless. And check it … no censorship. Just select one of the 20+ voices … enter your name, the caller’s name and your email address … hit the create button … then retrieve your personalized ringtone by visiting AutoRingtone.com. Your ringtone generates in the following format:
YOUR NAME, your phone is ringing
CALLER NAME is calling
YOUR NAME, please answer the phone
AutoRingtone PRO is even holding a contest for the funniest ringtones. Just send them (info@NoTieSoftware.com) the ringtone file you created and you can win prizes like iPhone cases, earbuds, headsets, chargers, and more.
And some info for you techie geeks … not only are ringtones provided in the iPhone format (.m4r), but also .aiff – so people who use other phones (there are other phones?) can convert them for their device. Very freaking sweet!
AutoRingtone PRO is unlimited. Meaning if you have 10 contacts – you pay one price. 100 contacts? 1,000? … still the same low price. But heads up … the AutoRingtone PRO edition, which has 20+ voices (and counting), will be going up in price after the first update which will allow completely custom messages. Think “freestyle” – it speaks whatever you type, so like … “Dude, warning! Your mother-in-law is calling. DO NOT ANSWER THE FREAKING PHONE!”. So jump on this 100% anti-KRAPPS Certified app at the current low price of $1.99 in the iTunes App Store.
New Booty Shaker Even More Offensive! Will The Wall Street Journal Notice?
A few months ago, we ran an article detailing the “Most Offensive App Ever”. This application was so distasteful that immediately upon release, the developer started receiving hate mail. Even The Wall Street Journal published an article publicly outing this vicious and disgusting app. What app? Nope … not Baby Shaker (although it does involve shaking) … rather Shake That Booty.
Pure filth! A cartoon butt that gyrates … sickening … makes us want to vomit!
Despite public outcry, apparently an illustrated wiggling ass was just too tame for Apple. So in efforts to raise the offensive bar even higher … Shake The Booty has been approved.
Think of Shake The Booty as Shake That Booty on steroids. You got a choice of 6 butts … these are real live butts … each butt comes with an owner … if selected, each owner introduces her butt before she shakes it. But Words Shmurds! Let’s watch a brief video of Shake The Booty, with an clear word of caution – the video below is EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE!
Yowza! Uh, this time we actually did vomit! Hello Courtney, Tiger and Dakota … you all are very bad bad girls! Da horror!
However in the meantime, if you are into this repulsive smut, you can visit Shake The Booty’s web site where you’ll find individual wallpapers of each butt owner, as well as a group butt owner shot. But hurry … who knows what will happen once The Wall Street Journal gets a hold of this one.
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