OMG! Double Rainbow All The Way Now Appearing In The App Store For Free!

philosoraptor_double_rainbow Here at KRAPPS, we love a good Internet meme … especially when it becomes a cool iPhone app. Stuff like the make-your-ears-bleed Trololo app … or the legendary Three Wolf Moon HowlTone Generator … are proudly displayed on our revolutionary iPhone 4.

In case you missed it, the latest rage on the Internet is the Double Rainbow video uploaded by YouTube user Hungrybear9562. Dude’s real name is Paul Vasquez and back in January he videotaped a killer double rainbow at Yosemite National Park. While the double rainbow is indeed amazing … it’s Vasquez’s reaction to the rainbows that’s making the video go viral. Vasquez is literally floored by the epic sight and can be heard woo-ing, whoa-ing and aaah-ing is pur ecstasy. At one point, Vasquez even begins to cry and questions, “what does it mean?" The entire video is just raw unedited emotion, bordering orgasmic with a hint of stoned.

Make sure you  witness this over-the-top emotional outpour of Double Rainbow …

 

And with every good Internet meme, an iPhone application is born. KRAPPS welcomes the Double Rainbow All The Way [iTunes Free] app into the App Store … Oh My God!

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While not as polished as the Three Wolf Moon or Trololo apps, there’s something comforting about the straightforward Double Rainbow All The Way soundboard app. With 26 sound clips from the original viral video … we’re not exactly sure what it means. But we do know it’s free [iTunes] and that’s always full on orgasmic in our book. Woo! – Whoa! – Yeah!

July 26, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment | 2 Comments 

Feel The Need To Kill Yourself? Death Chug iPhone App Can Help!

Ever wonder how many of your favorite Starbucks coffees or Red Bull energy drinks it would take to kill you?

That’s the opening line from the new iPhone application … Death Chug (not a metal band).

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Hmmm, let’s ponder the question for a moment … have we ever wondered how many Starbucks Grande Caffe Latte’s it would take to kill us? Uh … NO. Safe to say we never thought about going on such an epic coffee binge that we would drop dead from a caffeine overdose.

But HOORAY … if we ever did turn emo and felt the need to kill ourselves with Starbucks, it’s comforting to know there’s an app for that. The beauty of Death Chug is that it makes ending your life so easy. Simply enter your weight … pick your poison … hit the submit button … and instantly Death Chug returns the exact number of drinks it would take to kill yourself based on U.S. Department of Health formulas … that’s nice!

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Look, we get it … caffeine is bad for you – don’t drink a lot of it . And supposedly if we were ever stupid enough to consume 91 Starbucks Grande Caffe Latte’s in one sitting, we would die … deservingly so. But aside from providing scared straight tactics, our concern is with the glorious dumbshits of the world. Because you know damn well some dicknose frat boy will double dog dare an Appa iFonna Chi pledge to slam down 65 Monster’s … which according to Death Chug, will kill the 152 pound twerp.

iPhone + Death Chug  … dying has never been so convenient!

July 21, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment | 3 Comments 

“F*ck” Now Allowed In The App Store – Al Pacino Soundboard Proves It Repeatedly

profanity1 One of the many cool things about being an iPhone app developer is that you get to play by Apple’s rules. While this may sound like it sucks, it’s really quite exciting because you never know what rule Apple will change or enforce next. It’s like playing a game of baseball in which one inning you try and get 3 outs, then 7 outs, then whatever random number of outs the umpire dreams up next.

So there used to be a time in the App Store when Apple did not allow the F-Bomb. Apps like South Park and Nine Inch Nails’ Access were rejected due to what Apple deemed as “objectionable content” … basically explicit language … the F-Word.

But apparently all that has changed …  applications can now contain the word “fuck” and even better, App Store preview screenshots can broadcast “fuck” to visitors young and old. The “fucking” screenshots is another rule change by Apple … previously they were rejecting apps due to objectionable preview screenshots. Per an email from the iPhone App Review Team,

Application screenshots must meet the requirements for a 4+ rating (no objectionable material) since these images are visible on the App Store by all users even when  purchasing is restricted by the application’s rating.

So how do we know about the “fucking” rule change? Nope – Apple did not hold a “fucking” press conference or distribute a “fucking” memo. In the exact same way most developers learn Apple’s rules … we just randomly stumbled upon the new “fucking” rule by downloading the Al Pacino Soundboard app [iTunes limited time FREE].

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New rule #1 – can contain objectionable iPhone screenshots visible in the App Store …

New rule #2 – can contain explicit “fucking” language …

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The Al Pacino Soundboard app features 158 Pacino sound clips from all his movies like The Godfather film trilogy, Scarface, The Devil’s Advocate and more. To say this app adheres to new rule #2 is an understatement … over 100 of the 158 audio clips contain some form of profanity with “fuck” taking center stage. Classic Pacino phrases like … “Fuck you” – “Fuck that shit” – and “Don’t fuck with me” are all there and so much “fucking” more.

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So there you have it … if you are a “fucking” Pacino fan, REJOICE … Apple has once again randomly changed the rules and now approves “fucking” apps. But don’t “fuck” around …  download the Al Pacino Soundboard app [iTunes limited time FREE] now … because you never know when Apple will “fuck” with you and change their “fucking” rules yet again.

July 16, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment | 6 Comments 

iPhone Born In The Jungles Of Guatemala, Not Cupertino (Video Proof)

So after 13 years the truth finally comes out! This whole revolutionary iPhone idea … MEH, Steve Jobs ain’t so brilliant after all.

It was a dude named Dutch … covered in mud … deep inside the jungles of Guatemala. This is where the iPhone was born … this is where the vision began … from one ugly motherf*cker … iPredator! 

[apologies to those attempting to view this Flash-based video on the iPhone … we failed to read the Steve Jobs “Flash Is No Longer Necessary” memo]

(via Buzzfeed)

July 14, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment, News | Leave a Comment 

100+ Ways To NOT Get Laid App Advices Users To ‘Shit In Their Bed’

cuddle party Looking to hook up with some hottie and do the nasty like a rock star? No worries, you’re in luck. There are literally hundreds of apps to help you get laid … “Get Any Girl : The Ultimate Pickup Guide” … “How To Get Girls Into Bed Without Trying” … and even Vampire, Redneck or Robot Pickup Lines.

But what if you’re not looking to score? What if you wear one of those purity rings … or prefer a cuddle party to a naked party? Can the iPhone actually help you avoid having sex?

Good news for those aiming to become the next 40-year-old virgin … yesterday a new free application hit the App Store … 100+ Ways To NOT Get Laid [iTunes Free].

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Actually if you think about it, 100+ Ways To NOT Get Laid is quite the life saver …

On a shitty blind date? … what does the app suggest … “tell them you can suck your own member” … boom, no sex!

After undressing your potential bang buddy for the first time, you discover a third nipple … what does the app suggest … “shit in their bed” … boom, no sex!

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And of course other classic action plans like … “pull your tampon out. swing it around your head and yell ‘your goin’ down goliath!’” … and of course the fail-proof … “keep saying ‘I think that would fit up my butt’”.

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Yeah, 100+ Ways To NOT Get Laid might not change the world … but if suddenly you come face-to-face with a one-eyed willy covered in disgusting warts (ewww), you’ll be sure glad you downloaded 100+ Ways To NOT Get Laid and “shit in their bed”.

July 9, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment | 2 Comments 

App Lets Users Send Erections As Gifts (not kidding!)

Last week we covered an app that fixes erectile dysfunction by emitting sound waves from your iPhone. The Fire Up Your Sex Drive app claims that if you listen to these sound waves for 6 minutes a day, then after 20 days your male sexuality will be enhanced by more than 85%.

And if you think Fire Up Your Sex Drive app is complete bullshit, then you better not step in this next pile of crap … the Mobile-Gra Gift Sender.

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The premise of Mobile-Gra … and no, we are not f*ckin with you … is to send (via the app) your male friends the gift of a healthy erection. Per Mobile-Gra’s description …

This application consists of sounds that can improve male’s sexuality. You can send this gift to your friends who would like to be a "stronger man”.

And there it is again … sound waves … it’s all about those damn sound waves. Mobile-Gra continues by explaining the effects that certain sounds have on your penis …

“Mobile-gra” sound is created by natural sounds, subliminal sounds, binaural beat sounds, using “Erection in sleep theory”.

Got that? In case you missed it, let us repeat … Erection In Sleep Theory. We have no clue what erection in sleep theory is … our attempted Google search resulted in massive amounts of gay porn sites, so we’re still clueless about this alleged theory.

Finally, in case you’re having trouble figuring out exactly how and when to use the Mobile-Gra gift giving service, the app includes a few suggestions … give an erection as a wedding present to the groom (and bride) – friend going on a date, send him a big boner. Hell, you going on a date? … listen to this thing and super-size your dick! 

While listening to“mobile-gra sound”, you will be able to feel the comfort, and the nature. After listening the sound, you will be able to feel your male’s sexuality has been increased.

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Amazing stuff this iPhone … after listening to Mobile-Gra’s sounds, you will feel your penis has been increased … WONDERFUL!

July 2, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment | 4 Comments 

New App Can Fix Erectile Dysfunction (Why, God, Why)

Viagra-Light-Switch The flow of bullshit running through the App Store is seemingly endless …

Nine bucks buys you the Hair Clinic app. Simply hold the iPhone to your head for 10 minutes a day and the app delivers healthy and abundant hair. [BULLSHIT]

Think you could stand to lose a few pounds? Become a lean, mean, loving machine with the FatBurner2K app. Just stick the iPhone on your belly and it will literally shake away your fat molecules resulting in weight loss. [BULLSHIT]

The Less Cigarette app will magically change the flavor of your cigarette so it tastes like ass and help you quite smoking. [BULLSHIT] Thirteen bucks will heal your wart using the Wart Healer app … notice we said wart, as in one wart … additional wart healings can be purchased for $13 each via in-app purchase. [BULLSHIT]

And for the latest and greatest achievement … the iPhone can now fix ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION with the Fire Up Your Sex Drive app …  

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Yes sir – you heard it right … the iPhone now has the ability to deliver a healthy hard on … and it doesn’t even require the new iOS4. Per the app’s description … 

Just listen to the audio for 6 minutes everyday, and after 20 days your male sexuality will be enhanced for more than 85%! The effect is close to taking a viagra! 

Sound waves baby – it’s all about sound waves … (6 minutes a day) x (20 days) = 85% increased enhancement … hmmm, not a bad ROI indeed. LMAO … gotta love the outrageous claim –> The Effect Is Close To Taking A VIAGRA! Good thing Apple employees sat around with woodies as they tested and approved Fire Up Your Sex Drive.

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You might think the sound wave thing is all nonsense … but how can you doubt the validity of the developer’s claim with this sound explanation …

This application makes a kind of high frequency alpha wave to synchronize with your brain wave. It could stimulate your brain to adjust endocrine system and produce some male sex hormone. This is a very healthy way without any side effect and you will not need the pills to destroy your body any more!

And if you’re still not convinced … Fire Up Your Sex Drive was tested on a large number of male users … the results were conclusive … 

About 580 men have tried this application, and the effective percentage is even more than 77%

So next time you are experiencing a sad penis … just remember … iPhone – The Quicker Pecker Upper. [BULLSHIT]

June 23, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment, Health, Utilities | 8 Comments 

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