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- Here’s To The Crazy Ones
- Despite Female Moans, SexLife Trailer Fails To Arouse [Video]
- Wii iPhone 4 iOS Home & Lock Screen Wallpaper Set [Download]
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- Adventure, To The Max! [iPhone Game Review]
- epic – The Toolbox iPhone iOS 4 Home & Lock Screen Wallpaper Set [Download]
- Recap Week Of January 3
- Sexy Star Wars Pinups – EWWW!
- Weird Stuff From Japan – iPhone 4 Sushi Case
- MegaMan iPhone iOS 4 Home Screen Wallpaper Collection [Download]
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MyGirl Brings Sexy Interactivity To The iPhone
Ok, this whole virtual girlfriend thing is getting completely out of control. Back in the good old days, girlfriend replacement seekers had basically one choice … the blow up doll. Sure they came with different names, hair and skin color … but in the end, it was inflatable latex.
These days you have freaks marrying video game characters … whack jobs making fembots and including them at family Christmas gatherings (seated at the dinner table, giving them presents, etc.) … and to no surprise, hundreds of choices for virtual iPhone girlfriends … Pocket Girlfriend, iGirlfriend, Sexy Girlfriend, etc. Just last week, CNN named the virtual female bedmate app, Mega Girlfriend, as one of the top three worst apps in 2009 (they called it “creepy” … that’s putting it mildly).
What’s even creepier is how realistic these girlfriend apps are becoming. Take for example the new MyGirl app. This thing is so realistic that we started to have feelings for it … ewww! The folks at iPhSoft developed a proprietary alternative to flash technology (since the iPhone still refuses to support Adobe Flash) called iCore264. This proprietary engine positions MyGirl as the first and only real-time interactive video application for the iPhone. For you geeks … be sure to read the complete techie mumbo jumbo in iPhSoft’s MyGirl press release … supposedly it’s really interesting stuff.
So MyGirl is an interactive, video-based female application … meaning you get to do stuff with a sexy hot chick for only 99 cents (but keep in mind, this is an app … the girl is not real, you cannot marry her). You can massage her … tickle her … undress her … spoil her with presents like flowers or perfume … feed her (we recommend the lollipop or jalapeño) … or even liquor her up with cocktails, which we believe leads to the undressing function. In all, there are over 40 different scenes to satisfy your virtual needs.
Similar to other apps which push Apple to think different, MyGirl was banished to the App Store’s hellhole. Submit an app which pushes the envelope, Apple sticks you in an indefinite approval holding pattern. Liron Barzilay, CEO of iPhSoft, said “although MyGirl was submitted to the App Store by the end of August 2009, Apple found the concept and technology behind it so innovating that they took more than 3 months to review it (instead of the usual 10 days), before giving the approval for sale.”
Three months playing with reviewing the sexy hot MyGirl app … ewww Apple, that’s creepy!
Melt Away Your Snotcicles With The iPhone
BRRR … it’s January … the middle of winter … and it’s freaking cold! (unless of course you’re in Australia, enjoying the awesome 80 degree summer weather … screw you) It’s so cold that Tiger Woods is sleeping with his own wife in order to keep warm … the inmates are begging for the electric chair … and our balls have become ovaries. Baby, it’s cold!
So besides setting your house on fire or getting a fever … what can you do to keep warm? Simple. Remember your $300 iPhone? Apple says it’s revolutionary … and it really is … because now with the help of two new apps, the iPhone can melt those snotcicles away.
iHandwarmer
Genius! Developers know that the iPhone already heats up when running certain programs, so might as well build an app which simply uses 100% of the CPU and market it as a battery drainer … errr … hand warmer. Yes, you too can look like a complete idiot by tucking a couple of iPhones in your gloves during your next ski trip for the most expensive hand warmers ever. Then again, folks buy $300 True Religion jeans … who are we to mock a $300 hand warmer?
But while iHandwarmer sounds great … what if you need to crank out a bit more BTU’s? Like if you want to heat up your house or make toast. Then you got to go with the finest in iPhone cookers …
Pocket Heat
Now that’s what we’re talking about … a freaking portable heater. TOASTY! Hey, if it’s so cold outside that the Chicken Ranch is charging 50 bucks just to blow on your hands … then buy Pocket Heat and put the $49 savings towards another menu item.
Oh wait … Pocket Heat is a half-gimmick / half-real app. It’s not an actual space heater. Well thank you Mister Obvious. What gave us away … the “I’m With Dumbshit” t-shirt our friend is wearing? You almost had us! The iPhone is a space heater … you funny Michael P. Austin … you funny. Next thing you know we’ll be reading headline news of how the iPhone saved some lost hikers from freezing to death.
Recap: Week Of December 28
In case you missed any of our perfect iPhone chaos, quick links to this week’s articles.
December 28: WTH Apple! ‘Pussy Lovers’ And ‘Tits And Boobies’ Apps?
December 29: Magical Interview With Three Wolf Moon Licensor Michael McGloin [Part 1]
December 29: Pussy Lovers, Tits And Boobies – The Joke Is Over, Banned!
December 30: Magical Interview With Three Wolf Moon Licensor Michael McGloin [Part 2]
December 31: Official LEGO App Released – Geeks Excited, Have Brickgasms
January 1: Random Steve Jobs Sock Puppet Show – Happy New Year!
January 2: Super Size Me – An App Of Epic Proportions (Be Scared)
Super Size Me – An App Of Epic Proportions (Be Scared)
So we came across this application with an intriguing name … Super Size Me. At first we thought it was an app featuring the documentary film by Morgan Spurlock, in which for 30 days he eats only McDonald’s food <barf>. But a closer look revealed, it was no big deal … just another one of the thousands of hot chick boobs apps available for your iPhone.
However similar to looking at the sun (it’s so tempting), we decided to peek inside the Super Size Me app … and what we found made being chased by Elin Nordegren seem like a walk in the park. Super Size Me left us scared, speechless and soiled.
So dear KRAPPS viewers, stop right here … move on … go away. Surf over to Lolcats for some harmless, innocent and healthy laughs. There is no need to read any further … staring at the sun will burn your eyes! At least we warned you, Apple didn’t …
… [don’t look] …
… [go away] …
… [move along] …
… [resist] …
Random Steve Jobs Sock Puppet Show – Happy New Year!
And there you have it … another decade gone by. Wishing you and yours a healthy and successful 2010. We hope you have enjoyed following our site this past year and a huge THANK YOU for your support … you really do complete us! <emotional tears>
We’ll start the new decade off with a Steve Jobs sock puppet show, courtesy of Guppies in The Dark and their new iSock app. Although this may seem pretty random … keep in mind, this is KRAPPS, home of perfect iPhone chaos (plus we received a memo stating sock puppets are the in thing in 2010).
Happy New Year Everyone
Have A Kick Ass 2010
Official LEGO App Released – Geeks Excited, Have Brickgasms
Most geeks have iPhones … and since KRAPPS is eternally linked to the device, we come in contact with a lot of geeks. These folks are amazing … it’s like they have their own culture … Geek Culture. They wear witty T-Shirts (“rock is dead and paper killed it”), use Moleskine notebooks, read comic books, drink high-end beer, love Pixar movies and are totally into robots, bacon, dinosaurs and zombies. Stick a robot on anything, like toilet paper, geeks will buy it. Bacon bandages … plenty found in a geek’s medicine cabinet. Ever hear of 
Victory Storm King … ask a geek.
One of the biggest geek love affairs are LEGOs. Those colorful interlocking bricks are just about as sexy as Megan Fox to geeks. Invite a geek to your kid’s birthday party, chances are your rug rat ends up with LEGOs. “I’m going to Disneyland!” … won’t hear that from a geek Super Bowl MVP … “I’m going to LEGOLAND!”. Hell, just look at this actual headline from Gizmodo, it reads like geek porn … Gigantic Lego Star Wars Rebel Frigate Is 4 Feet 6 Inches Of Brickgasm (correct, geeks have brickgasms).
So warning – if you’re a geek, sit down now … we have excellent news! LEGO has just released their official iPhone app, LEGO Photo … its free and its awesome [iTunes].
LEGO Photo is simple genius … the KISS design principle (keep it simple, stupid) works perfectly in this app. Load a picture into LEGO Photo, touch a button and the image magically changes into LEGO form … miniaturized bricks of brilliance. No one can argue that Steve Jobs or President Obama look much sweeter LEGOized.
And let’s not even talk about Megan Fox, geeks everywhere will be having massive brickgasms.
Come to think of it, why pay 99 cents for that Safe Sexting app when really, LEGO Photo is the ultimate in safe sexting. Just look how sex(t)y Vanessa Hudgens looks as a LEGO (another brickgasm, oh no!).
[Special thanks to our bacon-eating, snow-shoveling, wise-ass of the Great White North Tim Peckham for providing today’s “You Complete Me” cartoon. Be sure to visit Tim’s website for more cartoons and information about his three apps … or check out his work as a cartoonist in the Toronto Sun.]
Magical Interview With Three Wolf Moon Licensor Michael McGloin [Part 2]
Part 2 of our interview with Michael McGloin, Creative Director of The Mountain … the company which produces the Three Wolf Moon (3WM) T-Shirt and became Amazon.com’s top selling apparel item and an Internet phenomenon [Part 1].
Apple recently approved the official 3WM app [iTunes] … Three Wolf Moon HowlTone Generator [KRAPPS review] … which generates custom howling ringtones for your iPhone. So being the nosey dickheads we are, we cornered Michael and asked him about the development process of the app.
KRAPPS: So you talked about supporting your artists … how about Ms. Neshev, she must be huge for you guys!
Michael McGloin: We’ve (The Mountain Licensing) been representing Antonia Neshev, the Three Wolf Moon artist, for about a year now, trying to get her art and Three Wolf Moon out there on more than just a T-Shirt. We’ve done posters, pajamas, puzzles, skins with DecalGirl and Zagg, etc. Over the past six months hundreds of other people have made tribute shirts, products, blogs and apps that have cashed in on Three Wolf Moon and Antonia doesn’t get a piece of that pie. We wanted Antonia to get her piece of the pie and we wanted to take it to the next level and offer our fans something that no one else could provide. The power of Three Wolf Moon in your pocket! Everyone should have that type of power to get through their day and that’s our gift.
LOL … no shit! We’ve had some pretty crappy days around here and the 3WM app would’ve come in handy, so we’re totally stoked a pocket version is now available.
Ok, the 3WM HowlTone Generator … what’s up with that? Did you geek-up and code it yourself?
Nah – I’m an artist, no Objective-C for this MacHEAD. A few different developers approached me about doing an app and we came up with a bunch of killer ideas. For some reason the first developer (iverse comics) dropped out about a month into it. We talked about wolf pack portals. Where people could upload pics of themselves in the shirt, comment on it and a possible proximity gps alert howl would happen when you walked by another Three Wolf Moon hipster, a secret handshake of sorts. But that project ended dead in the water.
LMAO … Wolf Pack Portal! That is sick and would be insane for a possible second app. Sorry to interrupt, go ahead.
Nice Kanye West move … anyways we’ll continue. Then Mark Peterson of TapFactory contacted me and expressed interest as well. He saw the New York Times article and wanted to make the Official Three Wolf Moon app. TapFactory was really great. I had so much on my plate and they were really patient. I worked with Cameron Smith and we threw a bunch of ideas back and forth, finally settling on a HowlTone generator to get something launched pretty quickly. Something we could build upon. I contacted one of our T-Shirt customers who has a wolf preserve and they supplied the wolf howls. It all came together very organically.
Imma let you finish … just wanted to say that the recordings of the wolf howls are awesome! Love the fact you guys used actual wolves and they even have names …
Wa-Ta-Chee, Ohoyo and Waya … very cool touch!
Yes, it was important for us to have a “connection” with the wolves. So then I wanted to try and get the app launched before 3WM showed up on The Office. We were all set to submit to Apple for approval, but then I thought it would be great to be able to record your own howl (or anything you wanted) as well, so it took a bit longer. And then when TapFactory was ready to submit I threw in another curve ball… the ability to buy the much sought after Three Wolf Moon Glow Shirt. We had to make the Glow Shirt purchase so you could only get it through the app exclusively from us. That was the final hurdle and we pulled it together and made it happen.
Yeah, we’re already in for that sweet 3WM Glow Shirt. Figure it’s the perfect shirt for when we go clubbin … chicks will dig a glowing 3WM KRAPPS.
Well Michael, we appreciate you taking the time to hang with us and sharing insights about your beginnings, The Mountain and the new Three Wolf Moon HowlTone Generator iPhone app. We wish you continued success and much luck with the app. Be sure to howl at us with any iPhone updates!
Thanks Mister KRAPPS. It’s been my pleasure to share a behind-the-scenes look at our operation. On behalf of The Mountain, I wish you and all your KRAPPS viewers the power of Three Wolf Moon … may its magic bring endless happiness to your life. Happy New Year!
[Be sure to check out The Mountain’s 2010 catalog … we were blown away by the new designs for next year … dinosaurs, bigfoot, gorillas, reptiles, etc. … just awesome stuff)
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