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- Here’s To The Crazy Ones
- Despite Female Moans, SexLife Trailer Fails To Arouse [Video]
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- Adventure, To The Max! [iPhone Game Review]
- epic – The Toolbox iPhone iOS 4 Home & Lock Screen Wallpaper Set [Download]
- Recap Week Of January 3
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Name That Ass With Mystery Butt
It all starts so innocently. Kissing leads to having babies. Smoking cigarettes leads to a heroin addiction. Stealing candy leads to armed robbery. It’s called the Gateway Theory … a fairly “mild” action may lead to a “stronger” one in the future.
While more commonly applied to drug use (Gateway Drug Theory), the Gateway Theory can also pertain to iPhone apps. Innocent fart apps started to appear in the App Store last December. 10 months later, we now have penis apps, strip club locator apps, tons of sexy hot bikini girrrl apps, foot fetish apps, erotic spanking apps and a whole lot more (just read the KRAPPS archive for plenty of other examples). Do fart apps lead to prostitute finder apps? Hmmm … better to be safe than sorry … so we’ll theorize, YES!
Since you now understand our fear of gateway apps, it should be no surprise how disturbing we find the new Mystery Butt app.
“How good are you at identifying animal butts?”… while this statement and application might seem innocent (albeit bizarre) on it’s own, we know damn well the serious damage and addiction it will cause. Using our Gateway App Theory, animal butts lead to scantly clad female butts and equally revealing male ass counterparts.
“How good are you at identifying celebrity butts?”
“How good are you at identifying MILF butts?”
“How good are you at identifying athlete butts?”
“How good are you at identifying Asian fever butts?”
See what we’re saying? Brace yourselves … Mystery Butt is a bad, bad, bad gateway app. First an innocent baboon butt, next a horrific g-stringed Oprah ass. Be safe – just say no!
So really, how good are you at identifying ass? Can you name ass A? B? C? D? Hint – they are all celebrities. Click here for full-size answer to Ass A (why yes – that is Steve Job’s ass in fishnets) … Click here for Ass B … Click here for Ass C … Click here for Ass D. Oh you know this will eventually become an app …. wait for it!
Crazy Cool Halloween Costume Alternatives From MouthOff
You poor iDork (term of endearment for individuals who are obsessed with the iPhone … like us) … Halloween is just three days away and you got nothing. No costume, no pumpkin, no love – nothing. Sure you could dress up as Dr. Richard Head or Nurse Connie Lingus … but come on, you’re an iDork … go large or go home! Plop down $1,000 … rig up a 42-inch LCD TV and be a giant working iPhone.
Now we understand if a grand is a bit steep … and if the cash doesn’t kill you, the weight of this puppy will. Each giant working iPhone weighs 85 pounds … not exactly mobile friendly. So you could be cardboard cutout iPhone dude. It’s cheap, lightweight …. but unfortunately looks like total crap.
So if you’re still in that Halloween costume rut, turn to ustwo … the developers of the MouthOff [iTunes] app. As the video below illustrates, these guys are completely insane … but there is a method to their madness. With the 99 cents MouthOff app and two rolls of toilet paper, you’ll be transformed into an uber-cool MouthOff Mummy.
Plus MouthOff includes a Hell-oween update which includes four new Halloween-themed mouths for your ghoulish delights.
Now if rain is in the forecast for your area on Halloween, obviously the toilet paper MouthOff Mummy will look crappier than cardboard cutout iPhone dude. But no fear … there’s a safe alternative that’s equally crazy cool … MouthOff Pumpkin-Head.
Prostitute Hunting With The iPhone – Craigs Ads Adult
We love Craigslist. Granted, it’s one helluv a fugly site, but this eyesore provides so much value and information that it’s worth the pain. Much more than a virtual garage sale, Craigslist viewers can find everything from housing to employment to rideshare opportunities … heck, you can even participate in a political or queer discussion forums.
And it’s not just online classified ads … Craigslist can be an awesome source of entertainment. Think about this … per Wired, Craigslist receives more traffic than either eBay or Amazon.com. All that traffic translates to plenty of freaks. All those freaks mean there’s some really weird shit being posted to Craigslist. Depending on your taste … weird shit can be very amusing. And instead of shunning these freaks, Craigslist applauds them by creating the Best-Of-Craigslist section. With listings such as … In A Well, Need Ladder – I Puked In Your Purse – Satanic Sexual Ritual – Free One Night Stand … Craigslist is a virtual Hall Of Fame for society’s misfits. Heck, there’s even (literally) some clown who will perform at funerals, surgeries, drug interventions and more. Dude calls himself Autopsy The Clown and reading his Craigslist “Clown For Hire” listing, this is one sick mofo.
But arguably, Craigslist’s best feature is the prostitute hunter … errr … personal listings. There you can find every flavor of adult activity … straight, gay, lesbian, emo, swingers, interracial, sadomasochism, one night stands, friends with benefits and plenty more. Just name any adult activity and chances are you’ll find it on Craigslist.
But since Craigslist is so fugly, it’s a royal pain in the ass (at least for us) to find that perfect prostitute … errr … adult companion. And that’s when the iPhone becomes your sinister friend … Craigs Ads Adult.
Ah yes, being a prostitute hunter …. errr … hopeless romantic has never been easier and more convenient than with the iPhone.
And listen, don’t blame us for using the term “prostitute hunter” … wasn’t our idea, rather real live Craigs Ads Adult user Jpseba coined the infamous term. “Adult” really does sound so sleazy … ewww!
Getting Your Drunk Ass Home – DrinkTracker Receives An Update [$25 iTunes giveaway]
($25 iTunes gift card giveaway – see end of article for details)
A few months ago, we featured a fantastic breathalyzer app called DrinkTracker [$1.99 in iTunes] by SlappMe.com. We made it very clear that we have nothing against partying hard, getting hammered and waking up in a gutter with a new tattoo on your forehead … but just stay away from driving a car. Doesn’t take a brainiac to know … drinking and driving sucks. However, let’s not kid ourselves … “don’t drink and drive” is easier said than done. This is where DrinkTracker comes into play – your personal “alcohol conscious” – helping you to drink responsibly.
DrinkTracker is rich with unique features which help estimate your Blood Alcohol Content (BAC). One of the coolest features is that based on your personal profile (gender, age, height and weight), DrinkTracker will automatically compare your alcohol intake and your metabolic removal rate and then calculate your BAC EVERY 60 SECONDS! So every 60 seconds you will automatically be updated with your current BAC level and given a timeframe for how long you need to wait until your next drink to remain at your BAC target.
To fully appreciate the numerous features of DrinkTracker, watch the demo video below. It’s a touch over 5 minutes, but well worth your time considering one day DrinkTracker may save your life or at the very least, keep you out of the slammer.
Awesome App Gets Awesomer (yes, that’s a word … ask any surfer bro)
Since the initial launch last June, developer Greg Slapp has been hard at work providing free updates to DrinkTracker. <love it when a developer is committed to their app and provides frequent updates / enhancements> In Version 2.0, Greg implemented a
GPS-based feature called “Outta Here!” to help get your drunk ass home (or to the next bar). Based on your current location and eventual destination, DrinkTracker conveniently provides travel directions via in-app Google Maps, the ability to locate and call for a taxi or email a TRUE friend with your current location for pickup. It also allows for a phone call or SMS contact via your contacts list from within the app.
And great news … Greg’s next update will include multiple concurrent user sessions. Two people can use DrinkTracker app at the same time and it will track BAC’s separately. A totally cool feature we love because two responsible heads are better than one.
Giveaway 
Because we like the name SlappMe.com, we’re giving away $25 in iTunes credit (US account required). Simply let us know how you first discovered the KRAPPS web site in the comments field below and you’ll be entered into a drawing to win the $25 iTunes card.
Entries must be received by Fri, Oct 30, 11:59 PST.
Feet – App Store’s Latest Fetish Finally Arrives
Well it took long enough! Approximately 15 months after the App Store opened its doors for Apple approved application purchases … foot fetish apps are finally available for download. We’re not exactly sure why it took so long or the reason Apple chose not to publicly announce the availability of foot fetish apps (under the worldwide spotlight of last week’s F4Q09 earnings call would have been the perfect opportunity), but whatever … we got your back and are shouting it from the mountain tops – “Now Playing In The App Store, FOOT FETISH Apps!”
While not as mainstream as the fetish involving ogling hot chicks plunging their toilets (yes, there really is such a thing … http://HotChicksPlungingTheirToilets.com … the Internet never ceases to amaze us), foot fetishes are growing (no pun intended) in popularity. As a matter of fact, per Wikipedia, foot fetishism (a pronounced sexual interest in feet) is the most common form of sexual preference for otherwise non-sexual objects or body parts.
So fetish away with the first two foot fetish apps available to consumers … Sexy Feet and Sexy Feet. Huh? Uh no, that’s not a typo … Apple approved two different apps with the same name (sure there is an Apple policy against this, but policy-shmolicy).
And just in case there was any confusion to the “purpose” of this application, the Sexy Feet app (no, the other one) contains the publicly visible explicit key word “FootJob” to attract even the most hardcore XXX foot fetishers (is that a word?). We can just hear 6-year-old little Suzi now, “gee mommy, what’s a footjob?” … STRONG!
Symmetrix Delivers The Obama Alien And Other Oddities
Someone once described KRAPPS as perfect iPhone chaos, focusing on the outer edges of the App Store. And while we haven’t put much thought into it … yeah, we tend to agree. We’re all about the whacky, weird, stupid and strange … ridiculously odd apps … that, depending on your “taste”, can be highly entertaining (or for that matter, offensive).
So with a keen eye for the unusual, this Obama image that piqued our curiosity.
LMAO … we’d vote for that extraterrestrial for sure! So how was the Obama Alien created? With the revolutionary iPhone, of course … using a new 99¢ app called Symmetrix [iTunes] by Ichigon.
Symmetrix is a photo manipulation app which uses a mirror effect to create hysterical symmetric images. The entire creation process is super easy and extremely quick. Take a look at the Dennis Rodman pictures below … transforming a “normal” Rodman (and in Dennis’ case, we use the term “normal” loosely) into a butt-nose circus freak took just a few seconds by simply adjusting Symmetrix’s tool bar.
Or check out how Symmetrix turns a routine Peyton Manning pass play into a standstill shotgun formation.
And of course, distorting our favorite celebrity (we love you Steve Jobs) in Symmetrix provided us the most hysterics.
Symmetrix is an extremely polished app. The user interface is intuitive and Ichigon did a great job of paying attention to details. For example, in addition to importing pictures from your Photo Library or taking snapshots from the app’s built-in camera, a direct Google Images link is included so the user does not have to exit Symmetrix to find and import photos from Google Images – very convenient!
To celebrate the launch of Symmetrix, Ichigon is conducting a 5-week competition, where each week 4 prizes are awarded to the coolest user-submitted Symmetrix image. Weekly prizes include iPopperz headphones and Pogo Sketch iPhone pens … and a Livespeakr iPhone speakers grand prize. Once again, entering the contest is very convenient … images can be submitted from within the app. Check out the Competition Page on Ichigon’s site for complete details.
Symmetrix is a high quality well built unique app … and at 99¢, Symmetrix [iTunes] is a freaking bargain. Plus you know a developer is freaking nuts (in a good way) when they produce a totally odd, yet sexy cool Borat-style promo video … just push play for some bizarro fun and creativity.
Los Angeles Baseball Fans Send Message To Yankees & Phillies With Their iPhones
With hopes of an all-Los Angeles Major League Baseball World Series crushed by the Philadelphia Phillies and New York Yankees, angry Los Angeleans found solace in their iPhones. Dodgers and Angels fans turned to a virtual Maneki Neko, a popular Japanese sculpture, to express their emotions towards the Phillies and Yankees. While traditionally the Maneki Neko is believed to bring good fortune, these irate baseball enthusiasts found a loophole in the iPhone version created by Vanilla Breeze. Labeled “Reverse Hand Motion”, this feature turns a “too cute” Maneki Neko into a foul-mouthed feline boiling over with bad luck mojo. Tough to blame Dodgers and Angels fans for expressing such strong sentiments … but at least there’s an app for that … Fingering Cat.
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