Stuff We Like

As total iPhone nut jobs, we love to check out iPhone related stuff throughout the net. Typically we share our discoveries via Twitter (follow @KRAPPS), but every once in awhile we come across gems that deserve a permanent home on KRAPPS.

The crew at iPhone Savior recently published a hysterical article titled – The Ultimate Tasteless iPhone Apps Revealed. Obviously the Baby Shaker app got their creative juices flowing as iPhone Savior presents their Top Ten list of tasteless apps for your disapproval. Below is a peek at two of their creations – just WRONG!!

iStarvePets Have you ever wondered what your friends would look like as meth heads? I have! Now it’s effortless with Meth Faced, or why not starve a virtual pet with iStarve Pets. Just shake this app and watch your personal per slowly shrink away into skin and bones. Pick from hundreds of adorable pets to dispose of.

iMethFaced  

Also spawned by the Baby Shaker incident, below is a hilarious iPhone commercial created by the folks over at Dr. Blogstein. Just push play and be prepared to laugh.

 

May 2, 2009 | Filed Under News | Leave a Comment 

Dirty Little Secret

BeamItDown Software is an iPhone book developer with a unique way of presenting written material. Typically when reading an iBook, the reader swipes through pages resulting in disrupted concentration. BeamItDown Software’s iFlow technology (no, not a urine app) solves this problem. Instead of paging, the iFlow Reader scrolls the text, similar to a teleprompter. The reader has the ability to control scrolling speed, font type, font color, font size and background screen color. Pretty nifty stuff and available on each of their 55 iBook offerings. BeamItDown covers all the literary classics – from Leo Tolstoy to Sherlock Holmes … The Art Of War to Pride And Prejudice … Bible Stories to The Book Of Mormon.

BeamItDownBOOKS

MassageAds Great selections – fair prices – quality technology … so basically BeamItDown Software is your model iPhone developer citizen. Or so we thought until we uncovered BeamItDown’s latest offering … iMassage. Interesting book title … an iBook on massage and physical therapy techniques … or so we thought! Nope, the only thing iMassage has in common with the written craft is the Amazing Touch massage advertisements you see in your local newspaper’s sports section … Free Table Shower – Cute Young Staff – Hot Oil – Cozy Private Rooms – $50 Per Hour.

Launching iMassage (nice app icon by the way – LOL), you are presented a choice of six “providers”. Push the Start My Massage button and iMassage begins to play in-app music and instructs Place iPhone On Area To Be Massaged.

iMassageProvider3  iMassageProvider1  iMassageProvider2

To finish your massage, push the Stop button and a screen filled with happy faces appears accompanied with laughing sound effects. We guess this is the HAPPY ENDING as the developer suggests to “continue <your massage> until your “HAPPY ENDING” appears.

iMassageDesc

iMassageHappyEnding

Wow … ok … “HAPPY ENDING” … good stuff for all the 9-year olds (or even younger) who have access to the App Store. We can just hear the conversation now … “Mommy – the new iMassage app says it gives a “HAPPY ENDING” – what’s a “HAPPY ENDING”?”

So there you have it … the iMassage app, with its “HAPPY ENDING” … BeamItDown Sortware’s and Apple’s DIRTY LITTLE SECRET (wondering how Apple got through the Baby Shaker incident smiling? now you know – LOL).

May 1, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 4 Comments 

Super Pooper

hellokittypoopJPG We have a request … next time you drop the kids off at the pool, we’d like you to humor us in a little activity that follows:

Take a dump –> Look between your legs –> look at your poop, make a sketch of it –> now write down your poop’s consistency and how it smells –> finally, for tracking purposes, note current date, time and place.

Now repeat this process for a week … and voila … you made a poop journal (or for you artsy fartsy … a Poop Moleskin)! How freaking cool is that!?! What? What did you say? We are weird? … no, YOU’RE weird! .. What? … no – NO – YOU’RE WEIRD! … NO, YOU’RE WEIRD! whatever … SHUT UP .. you’re the one that’s WEIRD – WEIRD … ha! … weird! … blah!

Anyways, we think the folks at SWS Digital would agree with us … if you don’t like documenting the details of your defecation … well then … you’re the one that’s weird. And that’s why SWS Digital created the POOP THE WORLD app … so us normal turd tracking folks can conduct our business (no pun intended) on the iPhone. But this ain’t no ordinary poop journal … Apple only approves the ultimate in tootsie roll tracking. Let’s take a tour:

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Generate Poop:
Choose from 20 different dookie-types which best represent the look of your crapola (ex = Gorillas In The Mist, Ring Of Fire, Trail Mix, etc.) … Select from 21 fragrances which best describe the smell of your sea pickle (ex = Fish & Otter Waste, Fungus and Moss, Grandma’s Fur Coat, etc.) … Then hit the Flush button to enter your do-do data.

PTWGorillas  PTWRingOfFire  PTWTrailMix

My Poop Stats:
Track your personal poopie stats like total number of toilet twinkies taken, tonnage of waste generated and miles of toilet paper consumed. Share details of your last lumber by email.

Poop Places:
Leveraging the iPhone’s GPS technology, you can keep track of your load’s location history or use the real-time Global Poop Map & Leader Board to view other users marking their territory around the world (how’s that for social media!).

PTWPoopStats   PTWPoopPlaces

Trophy Room:
A colon cobra competition where you have the chance to collect four trophies … satisfies even the most competitive chocolate soldier.

So there you have it … Apple’s gift to baked brownie aficionados … POOP THE WORLD. Call it what you want …pinch a loaf, ride the porcelain pony, drop a brick, feed the goldfish, launch a log, plant potatoes or leave a deposit … we call it like we see it – and we see POOP THE WORLD as the ultimate –> SUPER POOPER. (you’re weird … ha!)

April 30, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 11 Comments 

Exercise Your Brain With Binary Game

EinsteinBinaryGame Back in February, we profiled the Binary Game iPhone application and declared it 100% anti-KRAPPS certified. Binary Game is a simple, yet highly addictive original game of binary math. It makes you think while having a ton of fun. Click here to read our original Binary Game review. In March, Binary Game was included in the first “phase” of Facebook Connect apps, which allowed users to post their scores directly to their Facebook feed.

We’ve been huge fans of Binary Game since its inception as the game is unique, challenging and loads of fun. Plus we noticed something really cool since we began playing Binary Game … we became SMARTER! Something about getting your brain juices flowing during game play must have had a positive impact on our noggin’, cuz seriously … we are SMARTER!

bg-daily Binary Game had a recent update, so we thought we would pass along the info. There has been a complete redesign with new graphics and interface … we like, it’s tight! There is a new element to the game … the Daily Challenge mode. This new mode is the most competitive to date. It plays like Speed Mode (where you must complete 15 consecutive rounds as fast as possible), but can be played only once per day. You have one shot per day to chest-thump your superiority over other Binary Game players … no re-do’s or starting over. Freaking intense! So now, along with the Online Leader Board, there is also a Daily Mode Scoreboard.

And saving the best for last … Binary Game is now half off! Click here to purchase Binary Game now for only 99 cents … price should go back to it’s original $1.99 this weekend. Kind of a no-brainer … as we’d rather spend 99 cents to become SMARTER than drop for 9 bucks on some hair care app that promises healthier hair, LOL.

April 29, 2009 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, Games | 24 Comments 

Porn, MILF, Sex On The Beach, Wet T-Shirts, Teens

Ask any iPhone app developer and they will tell you that you really need to be careful with your application’s description when submitting to Apple for approval. Obviously no cuss words allowed, nothing graphic and just to be safe, tone down the humor. But as we noted in our Sexy Spinna article, sometimes the App Approval Department falls asleep at the wheel … LOL … by the way, did you know that the iNap@Work app is the Official Application of Apple’s App Approval Department … but we digress.

Ok, so get a load of this next one … sounds like a description from a certain movie genre and not something Apple would want to align with their brand/identity. With key words like … Drunk, Sex On the Beach, Wet T-Shirt Contests, Dead Brain Cells, Bikinis Removed, Going Topless, Nude Beaches, All Natural Teen Fun, College Teen Hotties, MILF Next Door and Porn … the Coed Spring Break app from McApps is a SEO’s fantasy come true.

CoedSpringBreakFINAL

LOL … WOW … those boys at McApps certainly know how to bring it! Classic stuff …

Got drunk, had sex on the beach
Going topless was celebrated
Nothing but all amateur, all natural teen fun
All original content … just college teen hotties
Close to porn as you can get on the app store

Whoa McApps … slow down there horn-dog … you’re going put Grampee KRAPPS into cardiac arrest with all this hot and bothered talk. But here’s the best part. Freaking McApps getting cocky and shit with their sexy Coed Spring Break … we love this trash-talking line:

Don’t Settle For Bikini Blast And Other Pansy Girly Apps

LOL @ McApps. WTF bro? You made a freaking iPhone app! You ain’t no heavyweight champion or something. Chill … freaking geeks, all nutted up on roids, mad-dogging other iPhone apps. LOL. It’s ok McApps … breathe deeply bro!

CSB1  CSB2  CSB3

And come on … if you’re going to use a sexed-up term, use the damn thing correctly:

Just Exotic, Coed, College Teen Hotties Like The MILF Next Door

Dude, are you talking about? “College Teen Hotties Like The MILF Next Door”? Come on McApps … we bet our ass you never got laid on a Mexican beach like you claim. Broseph … teen hotties are NOT like MILFs. Actually, they have NOTHING to do with MILFs – unless, of course, they’re teens with kids – uhh, but let’s not go there. And get this, dudes that are into MILFs are typically NOT into teen hotties. Overall this is just bad/inaccurate sex marketing … and frankly, we’re a bit offended by this misuse of terminology. But no … it’s not McApp’s fault – and certainly this is not Apple’s fault. But who KRAPPS? Who is to blame? Ahhhh, iNap@Work strikes again … two victims this time – Apple and McApps … LOL!

April 29, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 33 Comments 

The Real Reason Baby Shaker Was Approved

SHHHH! Be quite – we’re at work, taking a nap. Ahhh, it’s so nice, going to our job and catching solid ZZZ’s for a good 3 to 4 hours. Yeah baby … Slacker Nation! We’ve been sleeping at work for 11 years now, perfecting our talent and becoming quite the experts.

In our rookie years, we used the basic “Hide And Sleep” method … simple, yet effective.

sleep-at-work3

Next we shifted to the “Shave And Sleep” method. A bit expensive getting the proper cut and forces us to wear a hat most of the time – but hey, our head made for good party talk.

sleep-at-work1

Our latest craft (we call it a craft because sleeping at work is an art) is the “Stick And Sleep” method … freaking awesome eyelid stickers called Sleep Safe Tape – they rock!

sleep-at-work22

So 11 years of experience … we’re the sleep at work ninjas … or so we thought …

Obviously we’re big Apple fan boys. So last week we headed up to Cupertino to visit the Mothership. Because Apple adores us, we were able to get a VIP tour of One Infinite Loop – specifically the App Approval Department. And DANG, from what we witnessed … no wonder there are nearly 40,000 iPhone applications. These app approval employees work their asses off … or so we thought …

The App Approval Department was buzzing with activity … phones ringing, mouses clicking (or is it “mices clicking”? … ah screw it, who cares … go read Business Week if you want proper grammar) and keyboards banging. But a double-take led us to notice there were NO employees at their desks – every App Approval Department cubicle was empty! But what was this “activity” we kept hearing so clearly? Come to find out … it was a recently released iPhone application called iNap@Work  – which plays office noise so that the user can sleep at/under his desk without any suspicions. WTH?!? These freaking slackers out-ninja’d us! They approved an app for their own selfish purposes … so the entire App Approval Department could snooze and avoid getting caught by Steve. That’s whack – we’re the sleeping ninjas, not Apple!

iNapWork1    iNapWork2

But I guess we’ll get the last sleeping ninja laugh … LOL … because while the App Approval Department was taking their iNap@Work snooze – a little app slipped by and caused quite the shitstorm … and now you know the real reason Baby Shaker was approved … the iNap@Work app and wannabe sleeping ninjas, Apple-style!

April 28, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 13 Comments 

Rogue Touch Rocks

By demand, KRAPPS will periodically review “legit” apps thru a network of guest authors.
written by guest author Tim Giron (follow on Twitter @timgiron)

RogueTouchLogo Breathing new life into a 30 year old game, the recently released Rogue Touch (by ChronoSoft) is a port of the venerable game of Rogue to the iPhone/iPod Touch. Rogue was one of the first graphical computer games and has a storied past of being ported to just about every platform since its release in 1980. The goal of the game is to descend 26 levels into a dungeon to retrieve an amulet and then return to the surface. No walk in the park, you will confront a menacing array of monsters along the way.

Rogue Touch utilizes the same style of dungeon layout as the original, while offering many new and updated features. Movement in the game is via touching the sides of the screen or by calling up a virtual arrow pad. I started playing in the touch mode, since that is the default, but once I switched to the D-pad, I found that I actually liked that interface better.

RogueTouch1    RogueTouch2

The graphics have an old school feel, an homage to the great graphical games of the past. My favorite of the monsters that I have encountered is the skeleton, even though I haven’t yet been able to get past it. Also high on the list of bad things to run into are the slimes. If you don’t make quick work of a slime, you will soon find yourself surrounded by them as the split and multiply quickly. The only graphic that I found out of place was the dungeon walls, which have crenellations atop them, only really appropriate for an above ground structure.

The music in Rogue Touch is quite good. A rousing introduction gives way to a great set of ambient sounds, which appeared to change based on the monsters that were present. If you tire of the damp, drippy dungeon sounds, you can always play your own iPod music and turn off the music/sound in the game. The settings are presented within the Settings application, so make sure you get everything set up before loading up the game.

RogueTouch4    RogueTouch3

To date, I’ve only survived into level six. Since the dungeon layout is randomized each time you start a new game, you can’t rely on previous knowledge to guide you. Sometimes the next set of stairs down is nearby and sometimes it is not. In the later levels, you will find rooms that are shrouded in darkness, so you might miss treasure or a monster if you don’t fully explore. Often, you will catch a monster napping. If you are lucky, they won’t wake up and you can scoot by them.

During one of my games I descended into a room with only one door that led to a dead-end hallway. I crawled every inch looking for a hidden door, but was unable to find one. Not sure if it was a program bug, or if I just happened to miss the correct square to search.

Some of the updates that are specific to this port are additional monsters, an auto-map that comes in very handy when trying to figure out where the last room on a level is, and in later levels, the ability to uncover additional character types to play (I have yet to find myself worthy).

 

All in all, Rogue Touch is a worthwhile addition to the iPhone. A nostalgic game  with plenty of updates that take advantage of the premier mobile gaming device.
Click here Anti-Krapps-Seal-v2GIF to purchase Rogue Touch ($2.99) from the App Store now.

EDITOR’S NOTE: yeah – what Tim said! we love well made, high quality old school tribute games … and Rogue Touch does total justice to the original 1980 ASCII version. Oh – and make sure you check out the Worldwide Leaderboard and dedicated Discussion Forums. Rogue Touch rocks and is absolutely
100% anti-KRAPPS Certified.

April 25, 2009 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, Games, Guest Authors | 6 Comments 

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