Thank You KRAPPS’ Sponsors

We would like to take a brief timeout to thank our valued sponsors. Without their support, there would be no KRAPPS (uh, that doesn’t sound right). All these peeps are solid folks, have quality products and we’re proud to be aligned with them. So support KRAPPS, show our sponsors some love … you’ll become a better person.

Be Seen With KRAPPS
KRAPPS is the only web site dedicated to iPhone humor and fun. Take advantage of our unique niche by advertising on KRAPPS. We offer four different sponsorship packages to ensure participation at a variety of budget levels. Contact us at info@KRAPPS.com to receive our media kit, rate card and to secure your advertising placement.

ThankYouPres

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AppyNewzThankYou2 Appy Newz
A unique app which allows you to create custom tabloid-style magazine covers directly on your iPhone. Appy Newz is an extremely high quality app at a more than fair price point. It allows you to create custom covers for a variety of purposes (practical jokes, humor, greeting cards, awards, etc.) and provides endless entertainment. Click here to read our Appy Newz and find our why we adore this app or
click here to purchase from the App Store.

100soundsThankYou 100sounds
There’s a reason 100sounds is the #1 soundboard app … cuz it rocks! This app not only provides hundreds of high quality originally recorded sound effects, but also includes loop and delay effects for all your comedic purposes. Plus you can get hundreds of ringtones emailed to you, automatically, at no extra charge! 100sounds was already a bargain at $0.99, so this enhancement makes it a great deal! Click here to view web site, be sure to check out the hysterical user-submitted videos.

VoiceForge VoiceForge: We Build Voices® –
We Make the Internet Talk®
Attention iPhone developers – VoiceForge is an online Text-to-Speech service. They’ve made TTS fast, affordable, and scalable! Tap a huge variety of 60 voices in 5 languages. Using their SOAP based API, simply send text, indicate the voice, and receive back a MP3 or URL. And it’s fast – just 200 milliseconds for audio to be returned. Big fish no problem; our capacity exceeds 100 million synthesis per day. Consumers love personalization – why not "pimp your app" by letting users pick the voice they like? Click here to receive more info, try the demo, or sign up for a free developer’s kit.

BinaryGameThankYou2 Binary Game
Simply put, this app makes you smarter! Binary Game gets your brain juices flowing and is a ton of fun. It’s an original game of binary math which is simple to play and highly addictive. The worldwide leader board satisfies the most uber-competitive gamer, while the Facebook Connect feature pleases those social types. Click here to read our review or click here to purchase from the App Store, click here.

iFightThankYou iFight Pro
This app is a blast! To really appreciate iFight Pro, click here and take a quick look at a demonstration video – it’s really cool. Combine a handgun, rifle, shotgun, slap, whip, gong, sword or punch with one of the eight background music tracks – and you’ll be awarded with a pure quality, enormously fun iPhone app.

May 3, 2009 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, News | Leave a Comment 

Stuff We Like

As total iPhone nut jobs, we love to check out iPhone related stuff throughout the net. Typically we share our discoveries via Twitter (follow @KRAPPS), but every once in awhile we come across gems that deserve a permanent home on KRAPPS.

The crew at iPhone Savior recently published a hysterical article titled – The Ultimate Tasteless iPhone Apps Revealed. Obviously the Baby Shaker app got their creative juices flowing as iPhone Savior presents their Top Ten list of tasteless apps for your disapproval. Below is a peek at two of their creations – just WRONG!!

iStarvePets Have you ever wondered what your friends would look like as meth heads? I have! Now it’s effortless with Meth Faced, or why not starve a virtual pet with iStarve Pets. Just shake this app and watch your personal per slowly shrink away into skin and bones. Pick from hundreds of adorable pets to dispose of.

iMethFaced  

Also spawned by the Baby Shaker incident, below is a hilarious iPhone commercial created by the folks over at Dr. Blogstein. Just push play and be prepared to laugh.

 

May 2, 2009 | Filed Under News | Leave a Comment 

Dirty Little Secret

BeamItDown Software is an iPhone book developer with a unique way of presenting written material. Typically when reading an iBook, the reader swipes through pages resulting in disrupted concentration. BeamItDown Software’s iFlow technology (no, not a urine app) solves this problem. Instead of paging, the iFlow Reader scrolls the text, similar to a teleprompter. The reader has the ability to control scrolling speed, font type, font color, font size and background screen color. Pretty nifty stuff and available on each of their 55 iBook offerings. BeamItDown covers all the literary classics – from Leo Tolstoy to Sherlock Holmes … The Art Of War to Pride And Prejudice … Bible Stories to The Book Of Mormon.

BeamItDownBOOKS

MassageAds Great selections – fair prices – quality technology … so basically BeamItDown Software is your model iPhone developer citizen. Or so we thought until we uncovered BeamItDown’s latest offering … iMassage. Interesting book title … an iBook on massage and physical therapy techniques … or so we thought! Nope, the only thing iMassage has in common with the written craft is the Amazing Touch massage advertisements you see in your local newspaper’s sports section … Free Table Shower – Cute Young Staff – Hot Oil – Cozy Private Rooms – $50 Per Hour.

Launching iMassage (nice app icon by the way – LOL), you are presented a choice of six “providers”. Push the Start My Massage button and iMassage begins to play in-app music and instructs Place iPhone On Area To Be Massaged.

iMassageProvider3  iMassageProvider1  iMassageProvider2

To finish your massage, push the Stop button and a screen filled with happy faces appears accompanied with laughing sound effects. We guess this is the HAPPY ENDING as the developer suggests to “continue <your massage> until your “HAPPY ENDING” appears.

iMassageDesc

iMassageHappyEnding

Wow … ok … “HAPPY ENDING” … good stuff for all the 9-year olds (or even younger) who have access to the App Store. We can just hear the conversation now … “Mommy – the new iMassage app says it gives a “HAPPY ENDING” – what’s a “HAPPY ENDING”?”

So there you have it … the iMassage app, with its “HAPPY ENDING” … BeamItDown Sortware’s and Apple’s DIRTY LITTLE SECRET (wondering how Apple got through the Baby Shaker incident smiling? now you know – LOL).

May 1, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 4 Comments 

Super Pooper

hellokittypoopJPG We have a request … next time you drop the kids off at the pool, we’d like you to humor us in a little activity that follows:

Take a dump –> Look between your legs –> look at your poop, make a sketch of it –> now write down your poop’s consistency and how it smells –> finally, for tracking purposes, note current date, time and place.

Now repeat this process for a week … and voila … you made a poop journal (or for you artsy fartsy … a Poop Moleskin)! How freaking cool is that!?! What? What did you say? We are weird? … no, YOU’RE weird! .. What? … no – NO – YOU’RE WEIRD! … NO, YOU’RE WEIRD! whatever … SHUT UP .. you’re the one that’s WEIRD – WEIRD … ha! … weird! … blah!

Anyways, we think the folks at SWS Digital would agree with us … if you don’t like documenting the details of your defecation … well then … you’re the one that’s weird. And that’s why SWS Digital created the POOP THE WORLD app … so us normal turd tracking folks can conduct our business (no pun intended) on the iPhone. But this ain’t no ordinary poop journal … Apple only approves the ultimate in tootsie roll tracking. Let’s take a tour:

IMG_0085

Generate Poop:
Choose from 20 different dookie-types which best represent the look of your crapola (ex = Gorillas In The Mist, Ring Of Fire, Trail Mix, etc.) … Select from 21 fragrances which best describe the smell of your sea pickle (ex = Fish & Otter Waste, Fungus and Moss, Grandma’s Fur Coat, etc.) … Then hit the Flush button to enter your do-do data.

PTWGorillas  PTWRingOfFire  PTWTrailMix

My Poop Stats:
Track your personal poopie stats like total number of toilet twinkies taken, tonnage of waste generated and miles of toilet paper consumed. Share details of your last lumber by email.

Poop Places:
Leveraging the iPhone’s GPS technology, you can keep track of your load’s location history or use the real-time Global Poop Map & Leader Board to view other users marking their territory around the world (how’s that for social media!).

PTWPoopStats   PTWPoopPlaces

Trophy Room:
A colon cobra competition where you have the chance to collect four trophies … satisfies even the most competitive chocolate soldier.

So there you have it … Apple’s gift to baked brownie aficionados … POOP THE WORLD. Call it what you want …pinch a loaf, ride the porcelain pony, drop a brick, feed the goldfish, launch a log, plant potatoes or leave a deposit … we call it like we see it – and we see POOP THE WORLD as the ultimate –> SUPER POOPER. (you’re weird … ha!)

April 30, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 11 Comments 

Exercise Your Brain With Binary Game

EinsteinBinaryGame Back in February, we profiled the Binary Game iPhone application and declared it 100% anti-KRAPPS certified. Binary Game is a simple, yet highly addictive original game of binary math. It makes you think while having a ton of fun. Click here to read our original Binary Game review. In March, Binary Game was included in the first “phase” of Facebook Connect apps, which allowed users to post their scores directly to their Facebook feed.

We’ve been huge fans of Binary Game since its inception as the game is unique, challenging and loads of fun. Plus we noticed something really cool since we began playing Binary Game … we became SMARTER! Something about getting your brain juices flowing during game play must have had a positive impact on our noggin’, cuz seriously … we are SMARTER!

bg-daily Binary Game had a recent update, so we thought we would pass along the info. There has been a complete redesign with new graphics and interface … we like, it’s tight! There is a new element to the game … the Daily Challenge mode. This new mode is the most competitive to date. It plays like Speed Mode (where you must complete 15 consecutive rounds as fast as possible), but can be played only once per day. You have one shot per day to chest-thump your superiority over other Binary Game players … no re-do’s or starting over. Freaking intense! So now, along with the Online Leader Board, there is also a Daily Mode Scoreboard.

And saving the best for last … Binary Game is now half off! Click here to purchase Binary Game now for only 99 cents … price should go back to it’s original $1.99 this weekend. Kind of a no-brainer … as we’d rather spend 99 cents to become SMARTER than drop for 9 bucks on some hair care app that promises healthier hair, LOL.

April 29, 2009 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, Games | 24 Comments 

Porn, MILF, Sex On The Beach, Wet T-Shirts, Teens

Ask any iPhone app developer and they will tell you that you really need to be careful with your application’s description when submitting to Apple for approval. Obviously no cuss words allowed, nothing graphic and just to be safe, tone down the humor. But as we noted in our Sexy Spinna article, sometimes the App Approval Department falls asleep at the wheel … LOL … by the way, did you know that the iNap@Work app is the Official Application of Apple’s App Approval Department … but we digress.

Ok, so get a load of this next one … sounds like a description from a certain movie genre and not something Apple would want to align with their brand/identity. With key words like … Drunk, Sex On the Beach, Wet T-Shirt Contests, Dead Brain Cells, Bikinis Removed, Going Topless, Nude Beaches, All Natural Teen Fun, College Teen Hotties, MILF Next Door and Porn … the Coed Spring Break app from McApps is a SEO’s fantasy come true.

CoedSpringBreakFINAL

LOL … WOW … those boys at McApps certainly know how to bring it! Classic stuff …

Got drunk, had sex on the beach
Going topless was celebrated
Nothing but all amateur, all natural teen fun
All original content … just college teen hotties
Close to porn as you can get on the app store

Whoa McApps … slow down there horn-dog … you’re going put Grampee KRAPPS into cardiac arrest with all this hot and bothered talk. But here’s the best part. Freaking McApps getting cocky and shit with their sexy Coed Spring Break … we love this trash-talking line:

Don’t Settle For Bikini Blast And Other Pansy Girly Apps

LOL @ McApps. WTF bro? You made a freaking iPhone app! You ain’t no heavyweight champion or something. Chill … freaking geeks, all nutted up on roids, mad-dogging other iPhone apps. LOL. It’s ok McApps … breathe deeply bro!

CSB1  CSB2  CSB3

And come on … if you’re going to use a sexed-up term, use the damn thing correctly:

Just Exotic, Coed, College Teen Hotties Like The MILF Next Door

Dude, are you talking about? “College Teen Hotties Like The MILF Next Door”? Come on McApps … we bet our ass you never got laid on a Mexican beach like you claim. Broseph … teen hotties are NOT like MILFs. Actually, they have NOTHING to do with MILFs – unless, of course, they’re teens with kids – uhh, but let’s not go there. And get this, dudes that are into MILFs are typically NOT into teen hotties. Overall this is just bad/inaccurate sex marketing … and frankly, we’re a bit offended by this misuse of terminology. But no … it’s not McApp’s fault – and certainly this is not Apple’s fault. But who KRAPPS? Who is to blame? Ahhhh, iNap@Work strikes again … two victims this time – Apple and McApps … LOL!

April 29, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 33 Comments 

Gangstas And Homies

photo via PunditKitchen.com ‘Sup G?!?! Where you at Playa?!?! West Coast in da house … kickin’ it gansta style!! Yeah boy!! Playa you pimpin’ now? Rollin’ in da BLING? Yaaaa what … no? … check it –> KRAPPS bling edition.

K … you blingin’ now – good! Now we get all gansta ya … cuz that’s how Apple rolls … wanna be a gansta? – yeah boy!! – there’s an app for that!!

LOL … there’s actually two apps for all those iPhone carrying gangsta wannabes. First up, we have the Gunsta app which boldly claims … “Shoot It Like A Gansta”. This app is similar to the way too many iPhone guns blasting the App Store lately … only it’s gangsta style … a gold-plated gun for additional gangsta-ness (go figure, didn’t know real G’s use gold-plated guns – learn something new every day I guess). Anyways, read the Gunsta description for yourself – paying special attention to the value-added benefit of “also works for lefties” (ha … these guys just crack us up) …

GunstaDesc

Gunsta1    Gunsta2

Ok … so now you rollin’ with your gold-plated gun, just blasting away … what else you need to be a real iPhone gansta? A 40 ounce of course! Come on, you know the streets are mean in iPhone-land and like the app says, “do you ever wish you could pour one out for a homie, but don’t have a 40oz nearby?” Well now you do, with the Pour1Out app. And continuing to quote the app … “now you can impress your friends with how street you are by pouring one out next time Tupac or Biggie is bumping” … huh?

(note – “Pour One Out For My Homies”: the act of pouring liquid (usually an alcoholic beverage) on the ground as a sign of reverence for friends or relatives that have passed away. In most cases, a 40 ounce bottle of liquor is used)

40cozyDesc

 

And for your continued gansta viewing pleasure … we highly recommend checking out Pour1Out’s App Store user reviews. They are a story unto themselves … but more on that later … we’ll just leave you with a censored tease that snuck by Apple’s profanity filter.

40CozyDescCLEAN

April 24, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 1 Comment 

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