We rarely (if ever – too lazy to verify) preview apps that haven’t been released. But when we saw this next iPhone game over in the “Upcoming Games” section of TouchArcade … well, it had us at the title –> Almost Everything That Is Wrong With The App Store Combined In One Game.
So here’s the deal … in September, Mutant Games is planning to release a game which incorporates all the overplayed themes in the App Store … mainly farts and zombies. Appropriately, the game will be called … Farts VS. Zombies.
Seriously, Farts VS. Zombies will be epic. Stuff like The Evil Unicorn, Hitler, The Pope, Chuck Norris and other ridiculous nonsense will be included as well. And to destroy the oncoming aforementioned adversaries, your only weapon is … YOUR ASS! Hopefully by the September launch date rolls around, Mutant Games will include our other App Store faves like boobs and orgasms.
Farts VS. Zombies will be priced at $1.99 and judging by the ball busting hysterical trailer below … it’ll be worth every freaking penny! (watch the must-see trailer … it’s awesome)
In case you’re clueless about the awesomeness at PeopleOfWalmart.com, let us fill you in … it’s awesome! People of Walmart is a hysterical website that “celebrates” the world’s largest retailer by featuring pictures of its whack job shoppers. Stuff like … mom pulling child by hair – kid eating a booger – man in underwear being taze by police … and so much more dumbassness unique to the world’s largest retailer, Wal-Mart.
So now People of Walmart joins Cult of Apple … with its official iPhone application. But don’t try to find it in the App Store … it ain’t there – well sort of. Seems the folks at People of Walmart anticipated some shit might go down with the lawyer dorks at Wal-Mart and preemptively changed their app’s name to Feature Creature [iTunes Free] [Apple has banned app, see update below]
Although the name sucks, make no mistake … the app is pure People of Walmart brilliance. Uh, well, that’s because Feature Creature is the People of Walmart website, but in a cool iPhone format … complete with swipe for next post or shake for a random post.
Aside from the convenient viewing of Wal-Mart freaks, the
People of Walmart Feature Creature (seriously, WTF kind of name is that?) app allows users to snap photos and upload their own contributions to People of Walmart … assuming you’re brave enough to step foot into a Wal-Mart and can tolerate that lingering stench of human feces mixed with bleach that’s present at every single Wal-Mart location.
In conclusion, we only have one question … why are you still here?!? Click this revolutionary hyperlink [Apple has banned app, see update below] and download the official People of Walmart app right now for FREE. Then come back tomorrow for more iPhone chaos here at KRAPPS.
UPDATE – Looks like someone’s panties got in a bundle! Unfortunately the app has been pulled by Apple. We are attempting to find out why Feature Creature was so offensive.
Similar to our retro games iPhone iOS 4 wallpaper collection, we are accumulating quite a few “magical” applications. The reason we label these apps “magical” is because when we launch them, they do “magical” things to us … our boobs get bigger, hair grows faster, warts fall off our bodies, we lose weight, our penis gets erect and we quit smoking … seriously, no kidding – all these things happen to us because there’s a “magical” app for that!
Now in case you didn’t notice, the fifth “magical” effect was … our penis gets erect. Which is all fine and dandy, but who the hell wants to walk around with an erect penis all day … it ain’t all that. So in all honesty, we really don’t use the Fire Up Your Sex Drive app that much. Uhhh, that is until now … used with the Hypnosis To Enhance Orgasm Potential app … you be like a living, breathing, real life porn star!
Benjamin DeFoor is the developer of this hypno orgasm app … dude is an ACTUAL hypnotherapist who knows what he’s doing! Right there on his website it says … “All these apps work and are made by me, an ACTUAL Hypnotherapist.”
So yeah … it ACTUALLY works and helps you achieve an orgasm …
Like we alluded to … combine the Fire Up Your Sex Drive all day erection app with Benjamin’s orgasm app … it would behoove Vivid Entertainment to purchase iPhones and this application combo for all their male employees.
When it comes to a fashionable wardrobe … there is no evolution of Steve Jobs. Black St. Croix mock turtleneck ($170) – Levi’s Premium Collection 501 jeans ($138) – New Balance 991 shoes ($75) … Steve remains sexy and consistent for well over ten years. Well, except for 2001 … what’s up with that?!?
Now Steve’s company, Apple, is eerily a similar story. From the cool “Think Different” independent rebel start-up … to its current paranoid Big Brother corporate role … Apple seems to be evolving, BACKWARDS. Hmmm … perhaps like Steve’s wardrobe, there really is no evolution of Apple either.
In case you haven’t noticed, we’ve been amassing quite the retro games iPhone 4 iOS 4 wallpaper collection … wallpapers 640×960 in size, specifically designed for use on the iPhone’s home screen. Below is the old school goodness we’ve collected so far … all available for FREE download here on KRAPPS …
Today we bring you another classic from the ‘80s … specifically 1986 … the year Kelly McGillis looked smokin’ hot in Top Gun, Madonna’s Papa Don’t Preach topped the U.S. music charts and IBM unveiled the first laptop computer, PC Convertible.
Also in 1986, Nintendo video games debuted in America to rave reviews. One of the original games available was “The Legend of Zelda”, in which the hero, Link, must rescue Zelda. This legendary fantasy role-playing video game can now be immortalized on your iPhone’s home screen thanks to Flickr user “supermako” … dude is a Zelda fanatic and it took him two hours to build this uber-cool wallpaper in Photoshop. Enjoy!
[Download directly to iPhone’s camera roll by touching the image, press and hold the image on its new page and select save]
Here at KRAPPS, we love a good Internet meme … especially when it becomes a cool iPhone app. Stuff like the make-your-ears-bleed Trololo app … or the legendary Three Wolf Moon HowlTone Generator … are proudly displayed on our revolutionary iPhone 4.
In case you missed it, the latest rage on the Internet is the Double Rainbow video uploaded by YouTube user Hungrybear9562. Dude’s real name is Paul Vasquez and back in January he videotaped a killer double rainbow at Yosemite National Park. While the double rainbow is indeed amazing … it’s Vasquez’s reaction to the rainbows that’s making the video go viral. Vasquez is literally floored by the epic sight and can be heard woo-ing, whoa-ing and aaah-ing is pur ecstasy. At one point, Vasquez even begins to cry and questions, “what does it mean?" The entire video is just raw unedited emotion, bordering orgasmic with a hint of stoned.
Make sure you witness this over-the-top emotional outpour of Double Rainbow …
And with every good Internet meme, an iPhone application is born. KRAPPS welcomes the Double Rainbow All The Way [iTunes Free] app into the App Store … Oh My God!
While not as polished as the Three Wolf Moon or Trololo apps, there’s something comforting about the straightforward Double Rainbow All The Way soundboard app. With 26 sound clips from the original viral video … we’re not exactly sure what it means. But we do know it’s free [iTunes] and that’s always full on orgasmic in our book. Woo! – Whoa! – Yeah!
Sorry folks … it had to be done …
[via J from the UK]