The Comedy Of Errors – Starring Apple

As previously reported, Apple finally broke their silence regarding last weekend’s  massive removal of “overtly sexual” apps … “It came to the point where we were getting customer complaints from women who found the content getting too degrading and objectionable, as well as parents who were upset with what their kids were able to see,” Philip W. Schiller said in an interview with The New York Times.

Uh, ok. But what about apps like Playboy, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit, FHM, Maxim and others … these definitely contain “overtly sexual” content which kids should not view … why did Apple look the other way and not ban these apps? … “The difference is this is a well-known company with previously published material available broadly in a well-accepted format,” Schiller said. ERROR … translation – although these magazine apps contain titillating content, they will provide Apple a significant revenue stream from magazine subscriptions via the iPad once it arrives.

Uh, ok. But why did Apple ban a legitimate retailer’s online shopping application … Simply Beach … which sells bathing suits and rated 4+? ERROR … Apple made a mistake and they realized it. So without a word, not even to the publisher, Simply Beach mysteriously reappeared back on the App Store.

Simply-Beach-1  Simply-Beach-2

Uh, ok. But what about the 12+ rated game, Daisey Mae’s Alien Buffet … why was it pulled from the App Store? ERROR … once again, realizing their mistake, Apple  reinstated Daisey Mae. Oh, and of course no word from Apple to the developer that their game was once again live (seems to be a common theme with Apple, this no communication thing).  

Daisy-Mae

Uh, ok. But yesterday, after Apple’s new “no smut apps allowed” policy … why did they approve the Girls Of Break.com app with its dental floss bikinis and bare asses images? ERROR … unless we missed the memo, Break.com is not “a well-known company with previously published material available broadly in a well-accepted format.”

GOB-Title

GOB-1  GOB-2

Uh, ok. So Apple is cleaning up the App Store ahead of the iPad’s launch, which they are hoping to promote as a device for families and schools … yet the following Five Secrets app iTunes preview screenshot is approved for all ages to view? ERROR … trust us, it doesn’t matter how “well-known” the company is, no school will allow their students to read such a graphic description.

LOL …. Shakespeare could not have written it better.

Five-Secrets-FINAL

February 24, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment, Lifestyle, News | 14 Comments 

Apple Finally Speaks Out – Sexy Apps From Well-Known Companies Ok

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Last Friday we reported that Apple dropped another bomb in their war on smut apps.  Numerous developers received email notices from Apple announcing a revision in guidelines and the removal of any “overtly sexual” content from the App Store. At that time, it was our notion that this round of banishments would be considered the most significant day in Apple’s war on smut.

And indeed our inkling came true. Within 72 hours, over 5,000 “overtly sexual” apps were pulled from the App Store, representing about 3% of the total number of apps in the Store.

5000-appsremoved

Not only was Apple removing smut apps, but also wiping out entire publishing companies. One such company is On The Go Girls … as of Monday, all 50 of their applications were no HootersWashiPhoneFINAL longer available for sale, thus putting an end to their sole source of income. 

Until today, Apple has been silent about this latest round of take downs. The New York Times reports that Philip W. Schiller, head of worldwide product marketing at Apple, said they were responding to complaints from App Store users.

“It came to the point where we were getting customer complaints from women who found the content getting too degrading and objectionable, as well as parents who were upset with what their kids were able to see,” Schiller said.

Schiller continued saying Apple had to prioritize its customers. “We obviously care about developers, but in the end have to put the needs of the kids and parents first,” he said.

Our question has always been … if Apple is removing “overtly sexual” apps, why do apps from Playboy, Sports Illustrated (Swimsuit), Maxim, FHM, Victoria Secret or Cosmopolitan (Sex Positions) still remain? Although it appears Schiller was not questioned about most of the apps we mentioned, he did speak specifically about the Sports Illustrated application.

SportsIllustratediPhone  PlayboyiPhone

“The difference is this is a well-known company with previously published material available broadly in a well-accepted format,” Schiller said.

So let’s get this straight … although Apple cares about developers, priority was given to the needs of kids and parents. HOWEVER … “overtly sexual” content from well-known companies (Playboy, SI, Maxim, etc.) take priority over kids and parents. Or another way of looking at Apple’s logic … if the boobs are well-known (Playboy, SI, Maxim, etc.) and available broadly in a well-accepted format, then it’s ok for kids and parents.

Sound logic? Debatable (not) … but one thing is clear, Playboy certainly benefits from Apple’s logic. Prior to the removal of 5,000+ smut applications, the Playboy app was in the #111 position for Top Overall Paid Apps. Four days later, Playboy sits comfortably in the #32 position … $$ KaChing $$

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LOL @ Apple! While we realize it’s Apple’s business and they can do whatever the hell they want … let’s call a spade a spade. Apple is cleaning up the App Store ahead of the iPad’s launch, which they are hoping to promote as a device for families and schools. Large, well-known companies with titillating content like Playboy, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit, Maxim, etc. remain because they should provide significant revenue for Apple through magazine subscriptions via the iPad.

Sorry for being blunt … we would suck at being a public relations spin doctor.  

February 23, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment, Lifestyle, News | 11 Comments 

Apple Drops The Final Bomb On Smut – All ‘Overtly Sexual’ Apps Removed

In case you missed our previous coverage, Apple has reversed their policy and is in the process of removing once approved smut applications from the App Store. Below is an overview of Apple’s efforts:

Friday, January 29: As detailed in our “Apple Reverses Policy, Begins Removing Smut” article, Apple sends developers a short email explaining their app(s) have been removed from sale due to customer complaints of inappropriate content … showing too much skin. While the exact criteria for “too much skin” is unknown, it seems only the most extreme apps were pulled … pasties and hand bras.

Thursday, February 11: Reported in our “Apple Continues War On Smut” article, Apple begins rejecting apps for displaying objectionable preview screenshots. Apple informs developers that … “the application screenshots must meet the requirements for a 4+ rating since these images are visible on the App Store by all users even when purchasing is restricted by the application’s rating.”

iPasties-BANNED

Yesterday, in what probably will be considered the most significant day in Apple’s war on smut, developers received the following email from the iPhone App Review team …

From: appreview@apple.com
Sent: Thursday, February 18, 2010 x:xx PM
To: <COMPANY NAME>
Subject: <APP NAME> Removed from Sale

 

Dear <COMPANY NAME>,

The App Store continues to evolve, and as such, we are constantly refining our guidelines. Your application, <APP NAME>, contains content that we had originally believed to be suitable for distribution. However, we have recently received numerous complaints from our customers about this type of content, and have changed our guidelines appropriately.

 

We have decided to remove any overtly sexual content from the App Store, which includes your application.

 

Thank you for your understanding in this matter. If you believe you can make the necessary changes so that <APP NAME> complies with our recent changes, we encourage you to do so and resubmit for review.

 

Sincerely,

iPhone App Review

As noted, in January, Apple only removed the most extreme smut apps. This time around … in a rather apologetic tone … Apple is removing “any overtly sexual content from the App Store.” KRAPPS received numerous emails from developers stating their apps were  removed. Most were tame … you’d see more titillating content in a Maxim magazine.

asian-bikini-fart-FINAL The Asian Bikini Fart app, along with its Sexy, Black and Latina counterparts, have all been removed. These apps showed no excessive skin … they were simply still images of farting girls in bikinis.

The Dirty Fingers Screen Wash app has been removed. As detailed in our review, this app is a virtual iPhone screen cleaner … a girl, in a bikini, spraying and cleaning the screen.

Launched 13 months ago, the Wobble iBoobs app has also been removed. This app contains no sexual content. It’s photo manipulation software that lets you jiggle selected areas of images uploaded to the application. Static pictures become dynamic … jiggling Jell-O, swaying bridges and of course, bouncing boobs.

So it appears Apple is not just targeting photo smut apps. Sexy slider puzzles, sex positions, sexy scratch offs and many more … all have been removed. What remains to be seen is how consistent Apple will be with their new “overtly sexual content” policy. Will removals be arbitrary and subjective … or will Apple have the balls to remove such big name apps like Playboy, Sports Illustrated, Maxim and FHM … these apps certainly contain overt sexual content, yet still remain for sale (and considering the iPad, probably will always remain for sale).

Sports-Illustrated-iPhone  Playboy-iPhone

Or better yet, developer On The Go Girls published both the Dirty Fingers Screen Wash and Hooters Calendar Sexy Screen Wash apps … Dirty Fingers pulled, Hooters remains – huh? Stay tuned for further developments.

Dirty-Fingers-iPhone-FINAL  Hooters-Wash-iPhone

February 19, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment, Lifestyle, News | 32 Comments 

Whiten Yellow Teeth (waste your money) With This New iPhone App

We have a confession to make. We’re telling you this in confidence … so please don’t go blabbing it on Twitter or something. Pinky swear?

Ok then … on Valentine’s Day, we flat out lied to our significant other. We’re not proud of it, we had too … for the sake of the relationship. The significant other knows about our obsessive affection towards the iPhone and all things Apple. So what better way to say I Love You on Valentine’s Day than giving her the “Nothing Steve Jobs Ever Creates Could Fully Replace You In My Life” eCard from Someecards.

someecards-iphone-app

But really, can you blame us for having this affair with our iPhone? It totally rocks and completes us. We did a study of our life pre and post iPhone … the results were amazing. The quality of our life measured 322% better post iPhone. Check these proof points:

Ha! See that … quality of life, completes us, 322% better … that’s what we’re talking about!

And we’re happy to report yet another quality of iPhone life proof point. We can now have whiter teeth with the new Teeth Whitening Light app.

Teeth-Whitening-Light-title

How cool is that? No more visits to an expensive cosmetic dentist. No more Crest Whitestrips. No more lasers, bleach or hydrogen peroxide. All you need is your iPhone to turn yellow teeth white. Just launch the Teeth Whitening Light app and shine it on your grill (although we suggest avoiding this practice in public … most folks just don’t get how revolutionary the iPhone is … including our significant other).

Teeth-Whitening-Light-1

And let’s not forget the app’s amazing technology … it uses “micro pixelated image technology of actual Teeth Whitening Lights used on the market today” … wow, we’re sold! Sorry significant other – just keeping it real. Pretty much EVERYTHING Steve Jobs creates, including the 150,000+ apps Apple approves, replaces you in our life. Just look at our pearly whites!   

redneck-teeth-baby

February 18, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment, Health | 11 Comments 

Successful Developer Does A 180, Attempts Publishing A Crap App

minisquadron-logo Meet Tak Fung. Besides being a good guy, he’s an independent iPhone app developer and creator of the successful MiniSquadron arcade shooter game. 2009 was a good year for Mister Fung. Besides the launch of MiniSquadron, he secured various industry awards such as being listed in PocketGamer’s Top 50 iPhone Developers of 2009 and securing the No. 3 application in AppAdvice’s Top 100 Games of 2009. If you haven’t checked out MiniSquadron, you’re blowing it … it’s a kick ass game from a hard working indie developer. For more information, read The APPera’s thorough review … or just download MiniSquadron for immediate entertainment. [Full Version, $2.99] [Lite Version, Free]

Now if you look closely at Mister Fung’s portfolio of apps, you’ll notice something really strange. Listed in the App Store, right next to MiniSquadron, is the BikiniButts app. Not a typo … Mister Fung really did create and publish the BikiniButts application. Why – read on …

mrfungfung

Back in December, we were cruising Twitter, minding our own business … when suddenly we see a tweet from Mister Fung … “OMG I have a new goal in life I must make an app that makes it onto KRAPPS.com.” We thought Mister Fung was busting our balls (or drunk), so we tweeted a retort … “Careful Fung. Many apply, but few are chosen.” Well Mister Fung is a funny guy. He threw right back at us saying … “Challenge ACCEPTED! Feel the full might of 10 years of hardcore coding coming to KRAPPS in 2010!” LOL, well ok then … if dude wants to make KRAPPS, so be it.

mister-fung-twitter

Well a month goes by and we get an email from Fung … “Hello Mister KRAPPS! I have not backed down from your challenge. Enclosed for your consideration is a preview video of the crap app I have just submitted to Apple for approval … BoogieButts.”

 

LMAO! Pretty impressive crap … especially considering it came from the dude who published the high quality MiniSquadron game. So judging by the video, Mister Fung accomplished his goal … make crap and have it featured on KRAPPS. Only thing left was to make it official with Apple’s approval.

And therein lies the ultimate challenge … Apple’s arbitrary standards … especially for those “less than stellar” applications. Typically if a developer pushes the envelope too far, Apple rejects the app. Mister Fung found this out firsthand … BoogieButts was rejected by Apple. Apparently there is a rule which states you are not allowed to have any deformable body parts in the application graphically. You are only allowed if the pictures are user taken ones and not part of the app binary (like Wobble and iJiggles).

Yeah, sucks for Mister Fung and a lesson to all … it ain’t easy making crap. BoogieButts was heavily tweaked, resubmitted and approved by Apple. Below is a video of Mister Fung’s approved app, with new name … BikiniButts. As you’ll see, it really blows … so crappy that we would never feature it on KRAPPS (yes, there are plenty of apps that are so freaking stupid, they simply lose any “KRAPPS appeal”). But fear not … Mister Fung has indicated he will not give up. He has vowed to capture the one honor missing from his repertoire … developing an app worthy enough to be featured on KRAPPS. Fair enough Mister Fung … we’ll be waiting!

 

February 17, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment, News | 16 Comments 

New iPhone App Proves Sex Doesn’t Always Sell

It’s a given – sex sells. Pretty simple stuff … anyone can do it. Get an assortment of smoking hot chick pictures, mix in some titillating words (erotic, exotic, luscious, explicit content, scantily-clad, etc.) … and voila, you completed the sex sells equation.

But despite the worldwide appeal of sex and the fact that a monkey could sell it, a few bozos still manage to screw up. Case in point, the Best Cute Leg app by 1Games …

best-cute-leg-title

Close but no cigar. We would give some consideration to the plural of this app … Best Cute LegSSSS, but even then, something about being released as a woman during a lonely nice night really disturbs us.

So, no thank you! We’ll just go ahead and stick to the thousands of good old fashioned iPhone smut selections available for download … like the Tight Body Perky Boobs app … doesn’t get any simpler than that.

tight-body-perky-boobs-titl

February 16, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment, Lifestyle | 6 Comments 

Apple Continues War On Smut – Apps Rejected Due To Screenshots

smut-graffiti-FINAL About two weeks ago, we reported that Apple began a massive App Store sweep by removing once approved smut applications. Apple stated these apps were banished due to customer complaints for inappropriate content (showing too much skin). While the exact criteria for “too much skin” is unknown, pasties and hand bra apps were the biggest casualties … currently there are none left in the store. Apple’s reversal in policy came without notice, completely blindsiding developers.

And it doesn’t end there … the blindsiding smut clean up continues. Applications are now being rejected for displaying objectionable preview screenshots. Below is the email Apple is currently sending developers, informing them that … “the application screenshots must meet the requirements for a 4+ rating since these images are visible on the App Store by all users even when purchasing is restricted by the application’s rating.”

Thank you for submitting your application to the App Store. Unfortunately, xxxxx xxxxxx cannot be posted to the App Store at this time because the screenshots provided contain content that is objectionable for certain age groups. This is in violation of Section 3.3.14 from the iPhone Developer Program License Agreement that states:

 

"Applications may be rejected if they contain content or materials of any kind (text, graphics, images, photographs, sounds, etc.) that in Apple’s reasonable judgment may be found objectionable, for example, materials that may be considered obscene, pornographic, or defamatory."

 

The application screenshots must meet the requirements for a 4+ rating (no objectionable material) since these images are visible on the App Store by all users even when  purchasing is restricted by the application’s rating. The inappropriate images have been attached for your reference.

 

While your iTunes Connect Application State is displayed as Rejected, it is not necessary to upload a new binary.  Once you have made the necessary modifications, please reply to this email and we will proceed with your application review.

 

Sincerely,
iPhone App Review Team

Interesting that Ars Technica, The Big Money and Fraser Speirs all had recent articles identifying the problem of soft-core pornography being visible in the App Store. KRAPPS has also covered the matter in our “iTunes – Featuring Sexually Explicit Descriptions For All To Read” and “App Descriptions Gone Wild” articles. So perhaps Apple is listening … yet they  have a LONG way to go. Just today, a pair of Yau’s Asian Boobs applications were approved with the following screenshots …

yaus-1  yaus-2

And of course there’s plenty of non 4+ rated screenshots in the Lifestyle section of the App Store … everything from the Amateur Thongs screenshots to Caribbean Sex Fantasies (do app names also fall under the 4+ rating scrutiny? are those girls twins?).

Amateur-Thongs  Caribbean-Sex-Fantasies

Oh … since Apple now approves sex position apps, they’ll have to deal with the 69 Positions app, iKamasutra and many more.

69-Positions  iKamasutra

At the current rate, 4+ rated screenshots seems like a tall order for Apple to fulfill, especially given Apple’s history of inconsistent policy enforcement . But perhaps some day pre-schoolers will be able to peruse the App Store without being enlightened to the benefits of the Missionary position. Gee, here’s an idea … program the parental controls to disable not only the purchasing, but also viewing of restricted apps in iTunes. Come on Apple … if you can make an iPad, certainly you can handle this bit of programming … it’s all about being revolutionary, right?

February 11, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment, Lifestyle, News | 6 Comments 

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