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The iPhone Blows! – No Seriously, It Does
By now you’ve heard the iPhone does some pretty amazing stuff … cures baldness – starts your car – repels mosquitoes – shakes your fat molecules resulting in weight loss. Heck, it’s even been reported that the iPhone saved some gal’s life from a bear. Indeed, the iPhone is truly revolutionary … we love it!
And the iPhone simply cannot be contained … it just keeps getting more incredible. This past weekend, a one-of-a-kind application was launched that pushes the iPhone’s functionality and awesomeness even further … Blower.
So there you have it … exactly what you’ve always wanted from your iPhone (but didn’t know it) … to blow REAL air. For only 99 cents, this mind-blowing (pun intended) functionality will turn your iPhone into a snow blower, a cooling fan, a blowdryer … we guess. You can even blow up dolls and balloons, fan a fire or blow into your lover’s ear … we guess. Don’t believe us? Check out the “You Have To See It To Believe It” demo video below.
Hmmm … “interesting”. Judging by the soothing noise the Blower app emits, not sure which will explode first … the actual iPhone or your head. Meh, not impressed. Call us back when the iPhone sucks … replacing our overpriced Dyson. Thank you very much!
OMG, The Official Britney Spears iPhone App, OMG
OMG … we <3 ya Brit … XOXO
In case you’re over the age of twelve and missed the huge news, pop star Britney Spears has released her official iPhone application … It’s Britney! OMG … we’re huge Britney fans and this app brings us closer to her heart. It’s soooo cool!
OMG … just look at all this Britneylicious stuff it does …
Be Britney’s Dancer
Upload a picture of yourself and within seconds you’ll have a photo of yourself onstage with Britney! Then you can brag to all your friends that Britney is your BFF. OMG … soooo cool!
Messages From Britney
Britney will be checking in and dropping you exclusive messages! And it’s really her sending you those messages … we know, because we love her. OMG … soooo cool!
Twitter
Read Britney’s cool and fascinating tweets like … “I just had a Pinkberry and it was so yummy” or “I had a nice, restful evening and got a great massage last night” … OMG.
Sparkler
Launch the Sparkler feature and hold up your iPhone at her concert! We’re not really sure what it does, but it doesn’t matter … you will be sooo cool!
Shake It
Shake your iPhone and hear Brit say … “It’s Britney Bitch!” OMG … 10-year-old Britney wannabees saying “Bitch” is just soooo cool!
The privilege of having our iPhone scream … “It’s Britney Bitch!” … is worth the $1.99 price tag alone. And thinking many agree, as It’s Britney! has skyrocketed to the #3 Music app and into the Top 100 Paid apps. Of course the rumored update which will include the “Drive Like Britney Bitch!” video game (bonus points for mowing down police officers, driving while balancing a baby on your lap and running red lights) will surely position It’s Britney! as the #1 app of all-time. Ur da best Brit … XOXO.
iBooB – More Boob, Less Face Please
Admit it – you love boobs. You eat, sleep and breathe boobs. Halloween costume – Free Mammogram … Fashion statement – Boob Scarf … Method of transportation – Mini Boober. You’re all boobs – all the time … and that’s ok.
Really … it’s ok. Nothing wrong with being a boob aficionado. But what’s not ok is your choice of iPhone apps. What are you doing installing those sexy bikini girl apps? Those wallpaper apps filled with hundreds of scantily clad hot chicks … what’s the point? You are all boobs – all the time, right? So follow the logic … boobs = good … butt, legs, arms, head, hair, face = NOT good. Just cut the crap and focus on your #1 priority in life … boobs. What you need is the iBooB app … it’s like you, all boobs – all the time.
See that? There’s no distracting head … no flailing arms … no legs that go on for miles. Seriously, do you really need to see a face … meh.
And check it – the awesome developers put a tremendous amount of effort into iBooB. They collected hundreds of top quality boob pictures – all shapes and sizes. Large, small, huge or tiny … they’re all here. And for your convenience, all boobs are categorized by cup size.
iBooB – “the ultimate collection of boobs in the world” … and really, that’s ok?
Recap: Week Of November 9
Thanks to everyone you participated in our Sexy $20 Starbucks gift card giveaway sponsored by Sexulator. The folks at Just Another iPhone Blog randomly selected the winning entry as @Pinkaplz … congrats! And stay tuned … more giveaways in the coming weeks.
Missed anything this week? Here are some convenient quick links.
November 9: iPhone Visits The Wizard, Gets A Heart
November 10: Sexulator – A Pro Athlete’s Best Friend
November 11: New Booty Shaker Even More Offensive! Will The Wall Street Journal Notice?
November 12: AutoRingtone PRO – Because The Same Old Musical Ringtones Are So 2000-And-Late!
November 13: A Talking Beer – Quickest Way To Jack Up Your Kid
November 14: Steve Jobs Releases His First-Ever iPhone App?
Steve Jobs Releases His First-Ever iPhone App?
Fresh off his Fortune Magazine CEO of the Decade crowning achievement, Apple’s beloved frontman, Steve Jobs, has decided to join the 100,000+ iPhone applications with his own contribution. After a crash course in Objective C and instant approval (Apple law … when Steve Jobs makes an app, no approval is required), Steve Jobs released his fist-ever iPhone application … Steve God Knows.
And really, was there ever a dispute? Steve Job’s God’s company is valued at $170 billion … Apple stock is at an all-time high … cult members everywhere are being inked with Apple logos. Hell, dude even kicked cancer’s ass.
So yeah, no doubt about it … Steve Jobs God is God!
A Talking Beer – Quickest Way To Jack Up Your Kid
The folks at Gigabyte Solutions love children. In fact, they love them so much that a portion of their software business is dedicated to children’s iPhone apps. Just like that oversized purple freak named Barney … Gigabyte has stumbled upon a winning formula of kiddy appeal … talking characters. Stuff like talking spiders, talking cows, talking apples, talking footballs, talking monkeys and more. When the user speaks, the app’s character mimics the voice with a moving mouth.
However, not everyone at Gigabyte is on board with the “kids rock” notion. It appears some mofo at the company actually despises children and managed to slip in a talking character that guarantees a lifelong disturbing effect on the child … meet the A Talking Beer app.
This bastard Gigabyte employee even went as far as encouraging parents to have the Talking Beer read bedtime stories to their child …
Sit me beside you when reading a bedtime story and watch your child’s face light up with joy that I am reading them a story.
WTF Gigabyte? – FAIL! Uh no, children are not enamored with talking beers … not to mention the fact that it’s kinda a bad idea to introduce alcohol as a form of entertainment to kids. Well unless you are a fan of jail. What’s next for the children Gigabyte? … Talking Cigarettes, Talking Hookers, Talking Condoms … all very age appropriate, don’t cha think?
Well, guess it could be worse. Gigabyte could team up with Autopsy The Clown and release a series of talking X-rated balloon characters … starting with Talking Humpity Hump Dogs. Oh that’s just SO wrong! <sorry>
AutoRingtone PRO – Because The Same Old Musical Ringtones Are So 2000-And-Late!
Look, we get it. Your phone is ringing. And you’re totally awesome because you have the latest from Beyonce as a custom ringtone. You and a million other Beyonce fans (including Kanye West). A custom ringtone isn’t custom if everyone else has it and you still have to remember which contact each song is associated with. Total hassle … why bother?
“Imma let you finish, but AutoRingtone is the best ringtone of all time!”
Enter AutoRingtone PRO [iTunes]. You type … the app talks … in over 20 voices! You can have unique spoken Caller ID for every single one of your contacts and choose from a wide variety of voices including UK, USA, Male, Female, Robot, Space Alien or even synthesized singing voices, like T-Pain AutoTune-style! You’ll be the only one with that ringtone, for shizzle, my nizzle!
Hmmm … custom user-generated ringtones? Uh, this could get crazy cool … everything from professional to hilariously obscene!
>> “Hey baby, your phone is ringing. Your lovely wife is calling”
>> “Imma let you finish but your phone is ringing. Your home girl, Taylor, is calling”
>> “Batman, your phone is ringing. Robin is calling”
>> “Hey Pimp Daddy, your phone is ringing. Your number one sweetie is calling”
See that … the possibilities are endless. And check it … no censorship. Just select one of the 20+ voices … enter your name, the caller’s name and your email address … hit the create button … then retrieve your personalized ringtone by visiting AutoRingtone.com. Your ringtone generates in the following format:
YOUR NAME, your phone is ringing
CALLER NAME is calling
YOUR NAME, please answer the phone
AutoRingtone PRO is even holding a contest for the funniest ringtones. Just send them (info@NoTieSoftware.com) the ringtone file you created and you can win prizes like iPhone cases, earbuds, headsets, chargers, and more.
And some info for you techie geeks … not only are ringtones provided in the iPhone format (.m4r), but also .aiff – so people who use other phones (there are other phones?) can convert them for their device. Very freaking sweet!
AutoRingtone PRO is unlimited. Meaning if you have 10 contacts – you pay one price. 100 contacts? 1,000? … still the same low price. But heads up … the AutoRingtone PRO edition, which has 20+ voices (and counting), will be going up in price after the first update which will allow completely custom messages. Think “freestyle” – it speaks whatever you type, so like … “Dude, warning! Your mother-in-law is calling. DO NOT ANSWER THE FREAKING PHONE!”. So jump on this 100% anti-KRAPPS Certified app at the current low price of $1.99 in the iTunes App Store.
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