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- Here’s To The Crazy Ones
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- Adventure, To The Max! [iPhone Game Review]
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- Recap Week Of January 3
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iPhone Moves Nuts, Dominoes And Other Stuff With This Useful App
As awesome as it may seem, the iPhone has plenty of shortcomings … you can’t sync to iTunes via Wi-Fi, no tethering and don’t even think about viewing Flash on your iPhone. Although these items are pretty significant drawbacks, our biggest beef with the iPhone is the fact that it can’t move things. We won’t even begin to tell you how many times we needed a device to move stuff like wine corks, a pile of nuts or a cigar. It infuriates us to move such items with our hand when clearly this is a job for the revolutionary iPhone.
Well thank God some sensible developers feel our pain. The brilliant minds at Qneo (same folks changed the world with the iPhone Blower app) recently launched Magic Mover and changed out life for the better.
Magic Mover uses the iPhone’s vibration function to move things … press the start button, the iPhone begins to vibrate and a mini bulldozer magically moves whatever item you place to the side of the iPhone.
Agreed … this sounds too good to be true. Shun the non-believer … per Qneo’s demo videos, with Magic Mover, the iPhone literally gets pushy.
Remember that frustrating pile of nuts we talked about? Frustrations be gone with the Magic Mover …
And we bet you hate all that extra effort it takes knocking down dominoes. Hate be gone with the Magic Mover …
So next time you have to spend half a second sweeping off Peanut M&M’S or moving a pencil a quarter of an inch, save time and energy …. let Magic Mover do your dirty work. And no, not that kind of vibrating dirty work. Remember, Apple no longer allows overtly sexual applications.
Recap: Week Of May 10 – plus Why iPhone Users Are Crappy Drivers
In case you missed any of our perfect iPhone chaos, quick links to this week’s articles.
May 10: iWant This Awesome iPhone Wristwatch – iWatch [Concept]
May 10: New iPhone App – How To Get Girls Into Bed Without Trying
May 11: App Helps Users Avoid Being Extorted By Russian Cops
May 11: Free For A Limited Time – TIMWIT App By Canadian Cartoonist Tim Peckham
May 12: Porn Prevalent Again In The App Store, Despite Apple’s Best Efforts [NSFW]
May 13: How To Sell An iPhone App By Scaring The Crap Out Of Customers
May 14: Namco’s Pac-Man Stolen By German Company, Published As PiCK MAN!
May 15: I Love Hot Dogs – A Tribute To App Store Stupidity
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This Is What Happens When Using The iPhone While Driving
Just put the damn iPhone down while driving … next time you won’t be so lucky!
Actually, the Mercedes C-class pictured dangling through the 7th FLOOR wall of a parking garage belongs to some 67-year-old driver in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Dude reversed his car through a brick wall when his foot got stuck between the brake pedal and the accelerator as he tried to reverse into a parking spot.
Luckily no pedestrians were directly underneath the accident as shit flew everywhere when the Mercedes plowed through the brick wall … however cars parked below the scene were damaged.
Damn Mr. 67-year-old … take a hint – stop driving!
I Love Hot Dogs – A Tribute To App Store Stupidity
Oh geez, here we go … from the same brilliant minds that brought you the mindless I Love Burgers app, we present yet another App Store all-star … I Love Hotdogs … the tribute app to hotdog lovers worldwide.
Well, the one redeeming quality of I Love Hotdogs is the fact that it rates higher on the Dipshit Scale than its predecessor I Love Burgers. For whatever reason, folks look like bigger asshats when posing for pictures with hotdogs rather than hamburgers.
Of course you’ll always get the moron stuffing 127 hotdogs into their mouth …
Or the wanker who decides a hotdog is the best Halloween costume ever …
Long Duk Dong hotdog cooker? Yes please …
And finally, no hotdog tribute app should be taken seriously without hundreds of sexual innuendos. We are happy to report I Love Hotdogs does not disappoint …
Namco’s Pac-Man Stolen By German Company, Published As PiCK MAN!
While Apple is busy censoring the App Store, it seems they make no effort at all when it comes to copyright issues. We recently discussed the blatant Doodle Jump ripoffs … Doodle Jumper and Doodle Drop … and if that wasn’t enough to raise an eyebrow at Apple, now a German food company, Bahlsen, has ignored copyright laws and published PiCK MAN!
Three weeks ago, our friends at The APPera reported this latest copyright infringement in the App Store, yet PiCK MAN! still remains available for download. It’s shocking how one of the most popular video games ever, Pac-Man, could be shamelessly bootlegged, fly through Apple’s approval process and be available for sale … like it’s no big deal.
So lesson learned … when it comes to Apple approving overtly sexual apps, it ain’t gonna happen. However if a developer feels like profiting from an app by stealing someone else’s original work … Apple is just fine approving the ripoff application.
Oh and by the way … as an iPhone game, PiCK MAN! completely sucks. The controls are such crap that moving the character is virtually impossible … thus making the game unplayable. Look … if you want to play Pac-Man, just buy the real deal from Namco [iTunes $4.99 and FREE] … life is too short to play stolen video games.
How To Sell An iPhone App By Scaring The Crap Out Of Customers
Back in December we published a story called “How To SUCK At Selling iPhone Apps”. As the name suggests, the article highlighted crappy promotional techniques used by developers to peddle their goods.
Recently we came across an app whose description was so disturbing yet convincing, we immediately paid the $3.99 download price. To this day we’re not exactly sure why we purchased the Lethal Weapon app … but let’s just say fear is a huge motivator.
Damn those folks at Minervaz … developers of Lethal Weapon … for not sucking at sales tactics and scaring the shit out of us. Just read excerpts from Lethal Weapon’s over-the-top description (out in the street … everything is out of hand – bloody fights – those things will get you killed for sure) … you too will fear for your life and gladly part with $3.99.
Out in the streets, there are no rules. Everything is out of hand. Anything goes. And you have to be ready for everything! Or else, lives are lost.
Most people only hear about this stuff in the evening news. And, they never think it will happen to them. Until it does happen to them… or to one of their loved ones… and they’re just not ready to handle it.
What about you… Will you be ready when violence decides to head your way?
The fighting system I’m talking about is revealed in a special new report… created by two street fighters who have had their share of bloody fights. Not in the classrooms but out in the streets.
This stuff is super-fast to learn… and highly effective in the field. It’s the easy way to get you trained for the streets fast… so you are suddenly a walking arsenal of brutal, lethal weapons.
Plus, you learn how to instantly turn on your "warrior mindset" and become ready for anything. Covering . . .
★ In deadly situations, you don’t have time for complicated fighting styles, fancy spinning kicks, or Hollywood-style stunts. Those things will get you killed for sure!
★ All the deadly power of these moves comes from extensions of the way your body naturally moves.
★ But, most importantly, we reveal "The Warrior Mindset." This is what separates the real fighters from the wannabes.
But… before you get this report, I must warn you that … this Fighting System is NOT for everybody! However… if you’re looking for a system that will help you and your loved ones walk away from dangerous situations alive and unharmed, this report is created just for you.
Don’t wait for something to happen. Grab this report now!
Porn Prevalent Again In The App Store, Despite Apple’s Best Efforts [NSFW]
As we began reporting back in June 2009, Apple has a zero-tolerance policy for porn and nudity in the App Store. Any application found with revealing nipple or crotch-shots, have been nailed with Apple’s ban hammer :
06/25/09 – Hottest Girls … 07/01/09 – BeautyMeter … 07/30/09 – theXchange … 08/21/09 – Check myHottie … 09/15/09 – My X Girlfriend … 01/21/10 – forChan
But as you can see from the above examples, despite Apple’s “No Bra – No Panties – No App Store” rule, pornography manages to sneak past the gatekeeper. Developers continue to risk their good status with Apple in return for full frontal nudity glory.
The latest examples of App Store pornography are from Korean-based developer MSHOT Co., Ltd. They currently have three applications for sale on the App Store … all containing explicit sexual content and nudity … Top Secret 2, Model Pose and Model Pose 2.
The presentation and previews of the three applications in the App Store are very subtle. Their descriptions simply read, “Pocket Girls Series” … while preview screenshots are an enigma as well, encouraging viewers to visit Yashot.com for examples of in-app content.
But make no mistake about it … Top Secret 2, Model Pose and Model Pose 2 contain overtly sexual content to the highest degree. Breasts, nipples, vaginas and ass … name the naked body part, these apps have it.
MSHOT is no stranger to sleaze apps … we’ve covered some really weird shit from them (DVD Room, Mesmerism and Drunken Girls to name a few). However Apple’s war on smut put MSHOT out of business … well sort of. Less than one month after Apple banned over 5,000 overtly sexual apps, MSHOT released Top Secret 2 on March 9. On April 29, their second porn app, Model Pose, was launched. And finally, just yesterday, MSHOT’s third explicit sex app, Model Pose 2, became available for sale on the App Store.
So why do porn apps still exist if Apple is dead set against them? Well there are a few methods, but in MSHOT’s case, it appears they duped Apple. The apps’ images submitted to Apple for approval most likely are hosted on MSHOT’s servers. After the three apps were approved, MSHOT could have simply switched the images to the full frontal nudity variety without Apple’s knowledge.
F*cking with Apple is a losing proposition. Just ask developer Charles Rodriguez … developer of the infamous forChan app. Although forChan did not contain nudity, Apple felt Mr. Rodriguez was not forthright when submitting his app for approval and revoked his developer license. Section 6.1 of the iPhone Developer Program Agreement states … Apple has the right to terminate developer license for dishonest and fraudulent acts, including trying to hide application functionality from Apple’s review.
Does a similar “6.1 Fate” await MSHOT? We repeat … don’t f*ck with Apple … enough said.
Free For A Limited Time – TIMWIT App By Canadian Cartoonist Tim Peckham
Meet Tim Peckham … he’s a bacon-eating, snow-shoveling, wise-ass of the Great White North. Keyword = wise-ass … that’s why we love him. Besides his work as the Official KRAPPS Cartoonist, Tim has a less important day job … the Toronto Sun’s cartoonist.
Besides being an uber-talented artist, Tim is also an iPhone freak. So much that he has recently released the TIMWIT app [iTunes] featuring his best work … 214 single-panel cartoons to be exact.
Normally priced at $1.99 … the TIMWIT app is now FREE for a limited time. Needless to say a total bargain and a great way to lift your spirits if you are having a shitty day.
So what the hell, click here to download TIMWIT for FREE … it’ll make you feel better!
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