Whiten Yellow Teeth (waste your money) With This New iPhone App

We have a confession to make. We’re telling you this in confidence … so please don’t go blabbing it on Twitter or something. Pinky swear?

Ok then … on Valentine’s Day, we flat out lied to our significant other. We’re not proud of it, we had too … for the sake of the relationship. The significant other knows about our obsessive affection towards the iPhone and all things Apple. So what better way to say I Love You on Valentine’s Day than giving her the “Nothing Steve Jobs Ever Creates Could Fully Replace You In My Life” eCard from Someecards.

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But really, can you blame us for having this affair with our iPhone? It totally rocks and completes us. We did a study of our life pre and post iPhone … the results were amazing. The quality of our life measured 322% better post iPhone. Check these proof points:

Ha! See that … quality of life, completes us, 322% better … that’s what we’re talking about!

And we’re happy to report yet another quality of iPhone life proof point. We can now have whiter teeth with the new Teeth Whitening Light app.

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How cool is that? No more visits to an expensive cosmetic dentist. No more Crest Whitestrips. No more lasers, bleach or hydrogen peroxide. All you need is your iPhone to turn yellow teeth white. Just launch the Teeth Whitening Light app and shine it on your grill (although we suggest avoiding this practice in public … most folks just don’t get how revolutionary the iPhone is … including our significant other).

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And let’s not forget the app’s amazing technology … it uses “micro pixelated image technology of actual Teeth Whitening Lights used on the market today” … wow, we’re sold! Sorry significant other – just keeping it real. Pretty much EVERYTHING Steve Jobs creates, including the 150,000+ apps Apple approves, replaces you in our life. Just look at our pearly whites!   

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February 18, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment, Health | 11 Comments 

Successful Developer Does A 180, Attempts Publishing A Crap App

minisquadron-logo Meet Tak Fung. Besides being a good guy, he’s an independent iPhone app developer and creator of the successful MiniSquadron arcade shooter game. 2009 was a good year for Mister Fung. Besides the launch of MiniSquadron, he secured various industry awards such as being listed in PocketGamer’s Top 50 iPhone Developers of 2009 and securing the No. 3 application in AppAdvice’s Top 100 Games of 2009. If you haven’t checked out MiniSquadron, you’re blowing it … it’s a kick ass game from a hard working indie developer. For more information, read The APPera’s thorough review … or just download MiniSquadron for immediate entertainment. [Full Version, $2.99] [Lite Version, Free]

Now if you look closely at Mister Fung’s portfolio of apps, you’ll notice something really strange. Listed in the App Store, right next to MiniSquadron, is the BikiniButts app. Not a typo … Mister Fung really did create and publish the BikiniButts application. Why – read on …

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Back in December, we were cruising Twitter, minding our own business … when suddenly we see a tweet from Mister Fung … “OMG I have a new goal in life I must make an app that makes it onto KRAPPS.com.” We thought Mister Fung was busting our balls (or drunk), so we tweeted a retort … “Careful Fung. Many apply, but few are chosen.” Well Mister Fung is a funny guy. He threw right back at us saying … “Challenge ACCEPTED! Feel the full might of 10 years of hardcore coding coming to KRAPPS in 2010!” LOL, well ok then … if dude wants to make KRAPPS, so be it.

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Well a month goes by and we get an email from Fung … “Hello Mister KRAPPS! I have not backed down from your challenge. Enclosed for your consideration is a preview video of the crap app I have just submitted to Apple for approval … BoogieButts.”

 

LMAO! Pretty impressive crap … especially considering it came from the dude who published the high quality MiniSquadron game. So judging by the video, Mister Fung accomplished his goal … make crap and have it featured on KRAPPS. Only thing left was to make it official with Apple’s approval.

And therein lies the ultimate challenge … Apple’s arbitrary standards … especially for those “less than stellar” applications. Typically if a developer pushes the envelope too far, Apple rejects the app. Mister Fung found this out firsthand … BoogieButts was rejected by Apple. Apparently there is a rule which states you are not allowed to have any deformable body parts in the application graphically. You are only allowed if the pictures are user taken ones and not part of the app binary (like Wobble and iJiggles).

Yeah, sucks for Mister Fung and a lesson to all … it ain’t easy making crap. BoogieButts was heavily tweaked, resubmitted and approved by Apple. Below is a video of Mister Fung’s approved app, with new name … BikiniButts. As you’ll see, it really blows … so crappy that we would never feature it on KRAPPS (yes, there are plenty of apps that are so freaking stupid, they simply lose any “KRAPPS appeal”). But fear not … Mister Fung has indicated he will not give up. He has vowed to capture the one honor missing from his repertoire … developing an app worthy enough to be featured on KRAPPS. Fair enough Mister Fung … we’ll be waiting!

 

February 17, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment, News | 16 Comments 

New iPhone App Proves Sex Doesn’t Always Sell

It’s a given – sex sells. Pretty simple stuff … anyone can do it. Get an assortment of smoking hot chick pictures, mix in some titillating words (erotic, exotic, luscious, explicit content, scantily-clad, etc.) … and voila, you completed the sex sells equation.

But despite the worldwide appeal of sex and the fact that a monkey could sell it, a few bozos still manage to screw up. Case in point, the Best Cute Leg app by 1Games …

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Close but no cigar. We would give some consideration to the plural of this app … Best Cute LegSSSS, but even then, something about being released as a woman during a lonely nice night really disturbs us.

So, no thank you! We’ll just go ahead and stick to the thousands of good old fashioned iPhone smut selections available for download … like the Tight Body Perky Boobs app … doesn’t get any simpler than that.

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February 16, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment, Lifestyle | 6 Comments 

Let’s Bounce – SpringFling iPhone Game Review

(written by guest author Connor Coghlan. follow Connor on Twitter @Condawg)

Since I can’t really describe the genre of this iPhone game, I have to make a comparison.  Ah, I’ve got it … Spring Fling [iTunes $0.99] is like Doodle Jump, but with a bouncy twist.

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Instead of being instantly propelled upward by each platform as you land on it, you have to pull down on your spring (which can be done anywhere on the screen) to decide the power and direction that you will launch. This gives you more overall control and allows you to guide yourself toward powerups and whatnot with more precision.

There are two kinds of levels … static and scrolling. The static levels allow you as much time as you need to figure out where to go and what to do. The scrolling levels put a bit of a time limit on the endeavor by auto-scrolling upward, making sure you act fast to avoid slipping off the screen. This feature adds a unique challenge and some frustration <banging head against the wall>.

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There are powerups within SpringFling … a pogo-stick, balloons or fans that pop up at the bottom of the screen to blow you back up if you fall too low. But there are also pickups, which, unlike powerups, are permanent. Pickups affect your character aesthetically, so they don’t effect gameplay, but I’ll be damned if they’re not a boatload of fun to collect.

You can pick up different hats, faces, and eye pieces (some are glasses, some are just eyes) for your character to wear. This adds a good bit of replay value, as you try to unlock ’em all. Plus online leaderboards and Facebook / Twitter integration makes SpringFling even more addictive.

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Although Doodle Jump is more popular, I personally prefer SpringFling. I like the extra control that you get and I love the pickups available. Published by indie game developers GTProduction, SpringFling is in no way krappy … it’s one of the few anti-KRAPPS we feature here at KRAPPS and has Konnor’s (that’s me) Kredential. For only 99 cents, give it a try, you won’t be sorry.

 

February 15, 2010 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, Games, Guest Authors | 6 Comments 

Recap: Week Of February 8 – plus Site That Features Paid Apps Gone Free

iphone3g krapps 2 In case you missed any of our perfect iPhone chaos, quick links to this week’s articles.

February 8: Exclusive – Peyton Manning Seen Using iPhone App During Super Bowl

February 9: Celebrate Self-Mutilation With The Rate My Piercing App

February 10: Sports Smut – The Latest App Store Sexploitation

February 11: Apple Continues War On Smut – Apps Rejected Due To Screenshots

February 12: Addicted To Porn? These Apps Can Help You Recover

February 13: Gotta Catch A Mall! – Create A Mall iPhone Game

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Free iPhone Apps @ Free App A Day
We love a great deal and if you follow us on Twitter, you know we dig informing our followers about paid iPhone apps that have gone free. One of our followers has a running count on the number of apps she downloaded for free due to our tweets … 258 apps … dang, great savings!

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These free apps are typically for a limited amount of time (usually 24 hours) … so you have to jump on them fast. Now obviously there’s a lot of crap that goes free, but we don’t tweet those … no sense in wasting anyone’s time.

A great resource for finding quality free apps is a new site called FreeAppaDay.com … just like it sounds … working with developers, every day these guys post an app that is free for 24 hours. The beauty of FreeAppaDay is the review process. Before an app is featured on the site, it must be approved, thus ensuring quality apps (usually having at least 20 reviews and a 3 star rating). For example, today’s free app is Navy Patrol Coastal Defense … a kick ass tower defense game that is normally $4.99 … SWEEEET!

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So be sure to check out FreeAppaDay … every day. And if you have trouble remembering things, they have a nifty opt-in reminder email so you’ll never miss any of their killer deals.

February 14, 2010 | Filed Under Recap | 2 Comments 

Gotta Catch A Mall! – Create A Mall iPhone Game

(written by guest author Tim Giron. follow Tim on Twitter @timgiron)

Economic goal type apps are all the rage at my house, so I knew that Create A Mall [iTunes $3.99] by 99 Games would get a good workout.  In this game, you play Kelly, who is a mall management superstar, tasked with turning poor performing shopping slums into mega merchandising meccas (in six different cities, no less).  At your disposal are cash, resources and building plans which you must use in pursuit of a particular goal.  The first three levels act as a tutorial, setting the foundation for success.  Sometimes the goal is to attain a certain popularity rating, sometimes it’s to generate a certain amount of cash per day, sometimes it’s to put together a specific combination of stores.  Each level presents a new set of challenges.

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By achieving the goal within the specified time limit, you’ll be awarded the expert ribbon and you can also revisit any level that you’ve previously cleared to try for a better score.  One sure sign that the goals are decently challenging: my wife didn’t clear the whole board the first day she tried the game.  The logic puzzle side of things appealed to me as well.  Some of the goals require careful use of the tools at hand to finish within the expert deadline.

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In one of the first levels, you are tasked with attracting more shoppers to a rundown mall.  Why is it currently unpopular?  Well, the previous management thought it would be a good idea to build two of the same store right next to each other (for some reason, a pair of Abercrombies in close proximity turns people away).  The first task then is to "ditch a Fitch" and demolish one of them to make way for something else like, you know, an Aeropostale or a Hot Topic.  Yeah, that’ll bring in the hordes, ready to part with their cash.  Add in an upscale shoe store and you’ve got it made.

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As you progress through the 30 levels, you’ll gain access to new kinds of stores and accumulate points to spend on decorations for Kelly’s office or new clothes, shoes and jewelry.  She works hard, she deserves a little bling now and then!

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For your $3.99 [iTunes] initial investment, you’ll get hours of goal-seeking, mall-building entertainment with local and global leaderboards to let you match your skills against others.

February 13, 2010 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, Games, Guest Authors | 15 Comments 

Addicted To Porn? These Apps Can Help You Recover

As previously reported, we’ve been closely following Apple’s all-out attempt at clearing the App Store of smut apps. In late December, without any warnings, Apple reversed its policy and began removing once approved sexy hot chick apps that showed too much skin (pasties, hand bras, etc.). Then just this week, Apple began rejecting apps due to inappropriate preview screenshots… stating they must meet the requirements for a 4+ rating (suitable for ages 4 and above).

And there’s an additional, albeit indirect approach … a pair of iPhone apps that help users battle their addiction to pornography.

Biblical Encouragement – Pornography Addiction
Published by WorldLink Apps, per the app’s description … “this application provides encouraging Bible verses for the myriad of emotions and symptoms associated with pornography addiction”. And not only is this app quite popular (breaking into the Health & Fitness category’s Top 50 in the UK … but still not in the US Top 300), Biblical Encouragement – Pornography Addiction seems to be reaching its target market. According to AppShopper’s “Customers Also Bought” feature, users who purchased  Pornography Addiction also downloaded Epic Boob, Sexy Girls and Sex Jokes.

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iRecover – Pornography Addiction Recovery
While Biblical Encouragement provides, well, encouragement to battle your porn addiction … iRecover takes a bit of a different approach. From the get go, the app cuts through the bullshit and bluntly states … “For those of you who are ready to overcome the filth of pornography and invest in meaningful and fulfilling relationships – if you are ready to quit letting these filth peddlers make a quick buck by preying on your natural God-given instincts – this is the time and the year!” iRecover provides articles, resources, tools and techniques to battle porn addiction … much like the training and planning system from FranklinCovey. And although released just two days ago, iRecover has quickly vaulted into its category’s Top 200 in France.

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February 12, 2010 | Filed Under Health, Lifestyle | 8 Comments 

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