Belowscape App

By demand, KRAPPS will periodically review “legit” apps thru a network of guest authors.

Free Belowscape app giveaway – see end of article for details

Title: Belowscape
Category: Games
Guest Author: Dennis

Minimalism is a beautiful thing. In the iPhone game world, minimal games can work brilliantly. Belowscape, from 10tons, is one of these minimal games. It is a Geometry Wars type game where you navigate your triangle space ship while shooting the various shapes that appear.

Simple as that. Minimalism.

There are no power ups, no bosses, no bombs. Just try to rack up your score for as long as you can with 3 lives. No overly-complicated soundtrack in the background. Just sounds of you shooting stuff and the sound the enemies exploding as they die. Simple and smooth menu navigation that will eventually lead you to either the “Survival” or “Rush” modes.

What impressed me about the game were the options for the control system – they are customizable! You can pick from either touching the target, tilting the device, or using either a left or right joystick (and you can choose to use any of these schemes for navigation or shooting!!) This makes for many different combinations of control configurations to choose from. And to satisfy your competitive nature, there is a online Global Scoreboard where you can see how you rank against others players worldwide.

belowscape2

So if you’re looking for the beauty of minimalism and something easy to play (thus avoiding a high difficulty curve that will leave you wanting to chuck your iphone/ipod at the wall), Belowscape is the game for you. Click here to purchase Belowscape for $2.99.

antikrappssealv2gif EDITOR’S NOTE: We love minimalism … it truly is a form of beautiful art. There is enough chaos in everyone’s daily life that sometimes it’s therapeutic just to chill and enjoy and straight forward shoot ‘em up arcade game. Top that off with very cool customizable user controls … well that easily makes Belowscape 100% anti-KRAPPS Certified.

FREE Belowscape ($2.99 value) To KRAPPS Viewers!
10tons was kind enough to provide codes which will allow KRAPPS viewers to download Belowscape FREE. Be one of the first 2 viewers to leave a comment at the end of this review indicating their favorite arcade style game and we’ll email you the download code.

April 4, 2009 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, Games, Guest Authors | 14 Comments 

Bugz App

By demand, KRAPPS will periodically review “legit” apps thru a network of guest authors.

Free Bugz app giveaways – see end of article for details

Title: Bugz
Category: Games
Guest Author: Carolynn

With new platforms for gaming, comes new genres of games to play. I don’t know if any one has named this new genre yet, so I’m going to. And here it is: Chain Reaction Games. I have reviewed one of these type of games already and that was Sneezies. Now, we have another game to add to that list and it’s called Bugz from Didev Studios.

Bugz1

Bugz is a great mix of skill and luck. The goal of the game is to pop as many Bugz as you can. When you touch a Bug, it pops creating a circle of color that gets larger and then smaller. When other Bugz touch this circle of color, they will pop as well creating a chain reaction. When you start each level, you are given a goal number of Bugz to pop. In higher levels there are enemy Bugz that you have to pop as well as a certain number of regular Bugz. Also, there are flower obstacles that get in the way of the bugz and slow them down. These obstacles can make the game more difficult when you are trying to get those hard to pop enemy Bugz.

Bugz3

What’s great about Bugz? It’s got a lot to offer players. 102 levels of gameplay should keep you busy for quite a while. If you have other people who like to use your iDevice, they can store their game on the multiple profiles that are included. That solves a lot of problems when you have various people wanting their own game. For the competitive, there is a Global Scoreboard so you can compare your bug popping skills with the rest of the world. The custom made in game soundtrack is fun and easy to listen to. You have the option to play your own iPod music as well. The graphics are good with no slow downs or freezeups.

Bugz2

My overall impression of Bugz: A fun game that will have you popping bugz for days on end. There’s lots of levels to keep you interested and enemies add a new twist to the new Chain Reaction genre. Addictive and challenging gameplay is always a winner in my book. And this game has both. Just don’t get too frustrated and throw your iDevice when you can’t meet the goal on those higher levels. Click here to to Bugz from the App Store for the low low price of 99 cents.

antikrappssealv2gif EDITOR’S NOTE: Haaaa! Carolyn is brilliant! She/We coin the phrase … Chain Reaction games …. haaaa! … so remember, you heard on KRAPPS first – we’ll see which posers attempt to steal our claim … haaaa! And of course, Bugz … for 99 cents, you can’t go wrong. Give it a whirl and experience for yourself this 100% anti-KRAPPS Certified app.

FREE Bugz To KRAPPS Viewers!
Didev Studios was kind enough to provide 5 codes which will allow KRAPPS viewers to download Bugz for FREE. Simple be one of the first 5 viewers to leave a comment at the end of this article stating >> What Bugs You >> and we will email you the download code.

April 3, 2009 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, Games, Guest Authors | 16 Comments 

Sexy Apple

snoop64 Sorry folks … we realize that lately there’s been a lot of sexed-up app coverage on KRAPPS. But we can’t help it. As we stated yesterday, some Apple executive is riding high on the Viagra Gone Wild plane and there’s been a massive rush of sexy apps over the past few weeks. Not exactly sure what’s going on at The Mothership, but Apple has seriously been acting like dogs in heat … woof! woof! Dogg!

Anyways … no clue how long this Viagra induced Apple sexfest will last, so we’ll run down a few more of these sexploitation apps and then do our best to put a moratorium on the topic.

Ok … so here’s a helpful little app … heck, everyone already has at least one version of it on their iPhone. We’re talking weather apps … get the current temperature, forecast, maybe a little dew point … it’s all good, right? WRONG! What we really need is a sexy weather app from Visuamobile called Pin Up Weather. Ahhh, now we get it! This is why The Weather Channel app sucks so bad, just push play and see what you’re missing (hysterical stuff):

 

Actually the next app provides a lot of educational value. It’s for those aspiring sailors who are learning the meaning of various international maritime signal flags. Basically flash cards of signal flags … but not just any old flash cards … Bevy of Busty Babes flash cards … the NautiFlags app (ha, ha … see what they did there? … ha, ha … clever? … whatever)

NautiFlagsDesc

NautiFlags1   NatuiFlags2

Wow … we are so there! Count us in … we want to become sailors and hang out with a Bevy of Busty Babes … cuz sailors are cool like that – rollin’ in our 6 fo with all the Busty Babes and our playa Snoop of course! (for the record, Snoop rocks!)

So let’s put a close this Apple sexfest and go machine gun style with the following apps:

Sexy Chat Message Generator – helps you talk sexy
Hot Girl Chat – losers get to chat with “real girls” (come on, it’s a dude!)
Guy Wall – a little sexy for the ladies
iStrip Sexy Pen – hey! Pens can be sexy too
Bikini Poker – way better than Stick In Your Eye Poker
Super Sexy Mood Light – let’s your lover know you’re in the mood
iGay Dating For The Male Sex – some of dat sexy for gays 
Sexy Meter – sort of like the Douchebag Meter app
Sexy Can Of Corn – ha, you think we’re kidding, just wait for it

And there you have it … bye, bye sexfest … we’re turning on the cold shower and putting an end to those sex-crazed freaks at Apple! CYA!

April 3, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment, Weather | 11 Comments 

Apple On Viagra

ViagraAppleMan Did you hear the news? Or maybe it’s just for those Apple “insiders” … well whatever, we are here to share. So get this … one of Apple’s top executives (we will NOT name names) was recently prescribed Sildenafil Citrate (google it) and is now enjoying its effects. Oh yeah, this guy can be seen walking the hallways of 1 Infinite Loop with an extra spring in his step. Dude has a massive shit-eating grin plastered on his face 24/7. And of course … Mr. Happy Pants just can’t say “No” … if it has a pulse, he’s all over it. But it’s not what you think … he’s all over any and every app which is submitted to Apple for approval.

How do we know? We got mad skillz and the facts …

We’ve discussed this many times … sex sells. Now get an Apple exec hopped up on Viagra and sex REALLY sells. Take for example a standard clock app … it displays the time in 12 hour or military modes, has an alarm with a snooze button, different time zones, a countdown timer, etc … blah, blah, blah … standard stuff. Now sprinkle in a bit of Viagra dust … and boom … you get sexy clock. Sexy clock? Absolutely … why look at a standard boring iPhone clock when you can be enjoying Bikini Times Clock.

BikiniTimesClockDesc

BikiniTimesClock   BikiniTimesClock2

Oh yeah … sexy bikini girls … this we like! We’ll be looking at bikini girls all day … that’s how we roll … too sexy … the iPhone rocks! Oh, and did we mention the Bikini Times Clock displays the time? But we do have a bone to pick with the Bikini Times Clock – it ain’t all that! This app lacks fart functionality, which seriously jeopardizes it’s $1.99 price tag. Why not just make the PERFECT clock app – a Sexy Farting Bikini Clock. Hourly chimes = Farts … Alarm sound = Farts. Yeah Mr. Viagra Apple Man … mix in a bean burrito … because
SEX + FARTS = $$$. Cuz it’s all about the profit … so take that one straight to the bank!

April 2, 2009 | Filed Under Lifestyle, Uncategorized | 13 Comments 

Quick Links For KROQ

K&B_logo Tomorrow morning at 6:20am PST, we are scheduled to be on Los Angeles-based KROQ’s Kevin & Bean radio show … cool! If you miss the live airing (heck, even we wouldn’t get up that early to hear ourselves yap), be sure to check out the archived podcast at KROQ.com.

While we’re not exactly sure which KRAPPS will be discussed – for your convenience – below are links to potential topics:

Drunk Dialing Enabler app – Ringr Roulette (free giveaway!)
Spanking apps –   Spank and Spank The Monkey
Peeing apps – iPee and Shy Bladder
Boobie apps – iJiggles and Wobble
Token Smut app – Cute Asian Girls … your cure for yellow fever
Sex Aid apps – Sexy Spinna
Super Secret app – Appy Entertainment … no app yet, just a bunch of teasers

March 31, 2009 | Filed Under News, Uncategorized | 5 Comments 

Apple’s Biggest Fail

<warning>prepare to be shocked, disgusted, appalled and saddened by Apple</warning>

It all started out so innocent. We created a site that poked fun of the utterly lame and idiotic iPhone apps: Amulet … an app which transforms your iPhone into jewelry and enables you to wear it as a necklace. Mr. Menstrual Calendar App Title Creator … the poor soul who has to come up with names for the dozens of menstrual calendar apps (Lady Biz, AuntFlo, Fem Days, etc.). Hold The Button … a game where the objective is to touch the button on your iPhone’s screen and not let go, like forever.

All these apps are stupid and pointless … but in the grand scheme of things, fairly innocent stuff … no harm, no foul.

apple money Well flash forward to March 2009 … this whole “no harm, no foul” concept is a thing of the past. Apple is on a path of reckless abandon … pedal to the metal baby … more apps … more profit … screw quality, let’s approve everything!

As pointed out in yesterday’s We Got your Cure! article … Apple is getting dangerously close to approving something that is truly disgusting and offensive for the public domain. Now trust us, it was NOT our intention to become the voice of morality … that’s just not our gig (hey, our house would shatter if we threw a stones in it). But lately Apple has been forcing our hand on this ethics thing, so we just call ‘em like we see ‘em.

apple-fail So an app launched yesterday and we think it’s safe to say … this is Apple’s biggest FAIL to date. It’s not that this app is stupid, strange or simply a piece of sh*t (although some may beg to differ) … the problem with this app is two-fold … read on …

Sexy Spinna is a “spice up your life” app … basically Love Dice meets iPhone

Sexy Spinna 1    Sexy Spinna 2

So we think most of you get the gist of the app … if not, then you probably want to stop reading right about now. Ok … Love Dice … fair enough … heck, if Sexy Spinna can enhance a couple’s relationship, more power to its developers – iShakeapps. Now our problem with Sexy Spinna is their description. The app is customizable … you can add “sexy” words to customize the heat of the “love spice” you are attempting to achieve.  iShakeapps gives you examples of sexy customizable words. See app’s description below

SexySpinnaDesc1

Apple-Store-t-shirt Sorry about the blackout … but we are not even willing to display the word on KRAPPS. Which is saying a lot because we don’t exactly have the vocabulary of a f’ing choir boy. But I guess Apple is down with the “C” word … Apple rolls like that – using the “C” word to sell and describe their apps. What’s next Apple, employees at the Apple Store wearing t-shirts with a clever marketing “C” word tagline? And WTF are you thinking rating this app suitable for 12 year old children? Are you f’ing out of your mind? Go ask any parent who has a kid in 6th grade if they think it’s ok for their 12 year old to say the “C” word, yet alone see it in print. Yeah Apple … gee, never thought of that? … you can rate an app 12+, but children can still READ THE “C” WORD IN PRINT!!

SexySpinnaDesc2

Again … sorry folks … totally not our intention to ride the Social Conscience Horse … but when Apple is more focused on approving apps just for the sake of winning a pissing match with the Blackberry (ha! ha! look at me – I am Apple! I have 30 thousand apps … ha! ha! Blackberry you suck … you have less than a thousand apps … ha! ha! I am Apple … I piss on Blackberry!), well we got to call ‘em out. The “C” word is appalling and highly offensive … it flat out does not belong in the App Store … period! Apple – YOU SUCK!

March 31, 2009 | Filed Under Games | 38 Comments 

We Got Your Cure!

As we perform our daily KRAPPS search, we get a variety of first impressions. Some apps have us thinking “STUPID- STUPID – STUPID” … some apps fall into the “WHAT THE HELL” category … some scream “FREAKING GROSS” aka “FRAT APPS” … some beg the question “IS APPLE DRUNK OR JUST APPROVES EVERYTHING?” (sort of like that friend who hits on anything with a pulse) … and on the flip side “WAS THE DEVELOPER DRUNK? WHY EVEN BOTHER MAKING THIS APP CUZ IT’S JUST PLAIN WRONG” (sort of like waking up and realizing you’ve been stung by the wrath of Beer Goggles).

pervert Then we have a really “special” category … special because we rarely get this impression as we’ve seen it all and honestly, nothing really fazes us anymore. This rare/limited-edition category is simply called “WTF”. The last WTF app was Peep Show … the pseudo striptease app which Apple approved as a game suitable for 4th graders … WTF Apple, strippers are ok for 4th graders? Get your head examined! Prior to that were the Spank and Spank The Monkey apps which basically enables those who suffer from spanking fetishes … WTF Apple, freaking sickos! Then finally our last WTF app were the two peeing apps.

Like we said, WTF apps are few and far between. Until last Friday, when we saw an app that made us think … WTF Apple, do you really want to profit by making the iPhone a portable smut device? Guess Apple does as they proudly approved the Cute Asian Girls app with the clever (errr OFFENSIVE) tagline … “Your Cure For Yellow Fever”.

CAGDesc

We really don’t need to get into intricate details of this app … you get the picture (no pun intended) … images of scantily clad Asian girls dressed up in maid uniforms or with weapons or whatever.

CuteAsianGirls1    CuteAsianGirls2

BloodPressureCuff But I guess we should thank Apple. Heck, never mind how OS 3.0 will allow developers to transform the iPhone into a valuable medical device … you’ll be able to attach a blood pressure cuff to your iPhone – then take, record and send the information to your physician. Or if you are a diabetic, you can simplify your life with the upcoming glucose monitoring app from Lifescan (a Johnson & Johnson company). Yeah, you heard it right … never mind these STUPID potential lifesaving apps … because the real value of this medical device iPhone is the cure for “Yellow Fever”. Hopefully Apple will continue this approach as we’re sure many suffer from “Jungle Fever”, “Spice Fever”, etc.

Ok, you get where this is going? WTF Apple, are you a 15-year old boy? A dog in heat? Smut  plus a borderline racial/offensive tagline? Come here Apple so we can bitch slap that Yellow Fever right out of you with our iPhone – yeah, we got your cure!

March 30, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment, Uncategorized | 11 Comments 

« Previous Page — Next Page »