The Dumbing Of Apple

Apple … Apple … Apple … you all seriously need to have your heads examined. Every time we see those television commercials about the iPhone … how super cool it is – how many awesome things it does … well, to be honest, we just have to laugh of loud – because we know that’s only half the truth.

 

One of the great things about the iPhone is that …
if you want to look like an idiot – there is an app for that
if you want to be gross – there is an app for that
if you want to be a pervert – there is an app for that
if you want to be stupid – there is an app for that

Let’s take a look at a new KRAPPS that hit the App Store yesterday … the Nothing app, by NTP. No, we are not making this up … one of the great things about the iPhone is that it does nothing. No, we are not drunk … Apple really did approve an app about nothing. Still don’t believe us … read the app’s description below:

NothingDesc

So the Nothing app is essentially a joke … the user touches the Nothing Button and a series of different “nothing messages” appear:

“absolutely nothing”
“nothing else matter”
“nothing compares to you”
“nothing ventured, nothing gained”
“made you look” (little dev humor here)

Nothing1    Nothing2

AppleDunce Ha! Ha! Ha! … yeah we get it. The whole Seinfeld thing … a show about nothing – an app about nothing … poking fun (like we do) at KRAPPS. Excellent work NTP. A subtle poke at Apple for approving endless KRAPPS. Still need proof to The Dumbing Of Apple – the Nothing app is available for sale in the App Store for 99 cents.

March 9, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 21 Comments 

Alternate Endings App

By demand, KRAPPS will periodically review “legit” apps thru a network of guest authors.

update: all ten Alternate Endings codes have been claimed – thank you

Title: Alternate Endings
Category: Entertainment
Author: Dean

ae-logo2 Recently, I came across an app called Alternate Endings. This app has been available for awhile, but after playing it I thought that it was just so great I had to review it. Imagine watching a movie and being able to control what happens. In Alternate Endings, you can do just that!

Take the role of Russell Bingham. A security guard in a typical movie studio, however, after a big-time movie director is murdered, its up to Russell and his trusty taser to find the culprit. Follow Russell’s adventure and control his path in his one and only shot to become a real cop and maybe get a little extra.

ae-choice2

During numerous parts of the game you will be prompted to make a decision. What you decide will be played in a movie-like style and based on your choices, you can actually change the outcome of the movie for better or worse. Try to solve the crime in the best way possible, but don’t get yourself or others killed in the process. If you don’t like the ending, play again and follow a different path in order to find a better and more rewarding finish.

ae-get-the-girl

Alternate Endings is simply an amazingly designed game and definitely one of my favorites. It is the world’s first murder-mystery-comedy interactive movie app that lets you solve the crime. It truly feels like you are watching a movie and directing it at the same time. It contains over an hour of recorded video with literally no flaws in this game. The acting is great, the script is superb, and the quality is amazing. Stuck and can’t decide what choice to make? Simply shake your iPhone (or iPod Touch) and a choice will randomly be selected. The app is fairly large in terms of storage, but that should not keep you from downloading.

ae-best-ending

Click here to purchase Alternate Endings for $1.99 via iTunes or visit the Alternate Endings web site for more in depth information and an AWESOME game trailer.

Anti-Krapps-Seal-v2GIF EDITORS NOTE: Wow! Talk about unique … Alternate Endings is a one of a kind app that is first class all the way. Obviously a lot of time, money and effort went into this app – it’s basically like shooting a movie and turning it into a game. Talk about cool and well worth the $1.99. Without a doubt, Alternate Endings is
100% anti-KRAPPS Certified.

FREE Alternate Endings App ($1.99 Value) To KRAPPS Viewers!
Alternate Endings writer/director, Greg Townsend, was kind enough to provide 10 codes which will allow KRAPPS viewers to download the app for FREE. Be one of the first 10 to tweet the message below on Twitter and win Alternate Endings.

follow @KRAPPS & read Alternate Endings interactive movie iPhone app review. 100% anti-KRAPPS Certified http://KRAPPS.com #followfriday

March 6, 2009 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, Entertainment, Games, Guest Authors | 6 Comments 

Appa iFonna Chi

animal-house2 The more we hang out in the App Store looking for our next subject, the more we feel like we are living in a Frat House (yeah, yeah … don’t call it a frat … it’s a fraternity – whatever … get over it). Seriously, we took up residence in Appa iFonna Chi … complete with cases of beer apps, an abundance of boobie and girlie apps … oh, don’t forget the gross toilet apps … and with all that beer, you know there’s gonna be some puking apps … and no Frat House would be complete without endless fart apps. Welcome to Appa iFonna Chi baby!

So we got our Frat House completely furnished with the grossest of KRAPPS – it’s all good. Well it was all good until yesterday when another frat app was released and our house just had to have it (gotta love these developers … no grossness is left unturned).

Ok, enough teasing. Please give a warm Appa iFonna Chi welcome to our newest brother – iLoogie. Ah yes, there is so much potential for iLoogie at Appa iFonna Chi – our strongest rush candidates ever. Why? Cuz the dude is flat out DISGUSTING. Here’s how he rolls:

iLoogieDescFinal

GROSS! Exactly- perfect for out Frat House! Even better, check out iLoogie’s final product:

iLoogieKRAPPS1  castroloogie  iLoogieKRAPPS2

GROSS! GROSS! GROSS! … LOL – yeah baby, Appa iFonna Chi – this is how we do it!

And finally – being the thorough reporters we are, we visited the iLoogie web site and were shocked to see these two male Russian models – Elad and Tal – pimping the iLoogie app. Not sure if it’s genius (the whole sex sells thing) or further evidence of KRAPPS.

Elad2    Tal

But as we dug a bit deeper into the site, we discovered something even more distrubing … Elad and Tal are not hired hunks … they are the founders of the iLoogie company, Libra Festival. LOL … dudes, mix in a shirt! … But Elad and Tal work perfectly into the theme of iLoogie … perfect candidates for Appa iFonna Chi.

March 6, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 18 Comments 

Sheepstacker App

By demand, KRAPPS will periodically review “legit” apps thru a network of guest authors.

update: all Sheepstacker codes have been claimed –  thank you

Title: Sheepstacker
Category: Games
Guest Author: Carolynn

Lately, I’ve been taking my iPod Touch everywhere with me. It’s especially nice when I’m stuck waiting and bored, I can pull out my iPod and keep myself entertained for a few minutes. I went out to dinner with some friends and while we were waiting for the food, I started to play Sheepstacker. Everyone started to hover over me saying, “What is that you’re playing?” And I told them, Sheepstacker. It’s a game where you do exactly what the title says; stack sheep. They were very intrigued as they watched me play. Once they saw how to play, they all had to have a try and the iPod was shared around the table. We played long after the food came and didn’t care that our food was cold when we finally put the game down and started to eat. That should tell you a bit about how addictive and fun this game is.

ssbanner

Gameplay in Sheepstacker is very straight forward. At the top of the screen there is a rope with a plunger attached. The plunger is holding a sheep and it swings in a circular-like motion. In Classic Mode, you touch the screen and the sheep falls. Once it has landed, it’s time to stack another sheep on top. If you drop your sheep perfectly you get a bonus. The better you stack your sheep, the steadier your tower will be. But if you get sloppy, your tower will sway and make it harder to stack. If you miss, you will lose one of 4 lives. In Baa-lance mode you still stack sheep, but instead of using the touch screen, you tilt the device to catch sheep on a wagon. In my opinion, this mode is most challenging. In Speed Stack mode, you have a certain amount of time (1, 2 or 3 minutes) to stack as many sheep as possible.

ss1

What’s great about this game? It’s really cute and addictive as heck! The graphics are cartoony and fun. I personally love the way the sheep’s ears flop as you drop them (very realistic and nice attention to detail).  As your stack reaches greater heights, you will see lots of different things appear in the sky (planes, hot air balloons etc). The music and sounds fit perfectly with the game. The song played in the background while you drop your sheep is especially catchy. The controls are very simple and the game is very easy to learn, but hard to master. The three different game modes give you all sorts of replay possibilities. You’ll be stacking sheep til the cows come home! The in-game high scores table is clean and easy to read. There are also game achievements for those who love getting trophies.

What’s not so great? I noticed a bit of slow down in the graphics while I was playing, but not all the time. It was very minor and didn’t really hurt my game much. I’d also like to see a global scoreboard added to see how high the tallest sheepstack is. I’m competitive and  need to have a number to beat!

ss3

My overall impression of Sheepstacker: A game my friends would never let me delete. Suffice to say, it’s a real winner. It has lots of options and replayability. It’s challenging and extremely hard to put down. At a mere $1.99, you will definitely get your money’s worth. Thanks to developers Tiny Tim Games for bringing this game to us.

Anti-Krapps-Seal-v2GIF EDITORS NOTE: We first noticed this game due to its catchy name and very cool graphics. How can you not love it … it’s freaking hilarious. And as we played Sheepstacker, we realized that not only is this game “cute”, it’s one heck of an awesome game. We love it and it cracks us up every time we play … gotto love an app that will always make you smile! Without a doubt, Sheepstacker is 100% anti-KRAPPS Certified.

FREE Sheepstacker ($1.99 value) To KRAPPS Viewers!
Tiny Tim Games was kind enough to provide codes which will allow KRAPPS viewers to download Sheepstacker for FREE. Simply be one of the first 5 viewers to leave a comment at the end of this review and we will email you the download code.

March 5, 2009 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, Games, Guest Authors | 27 Comments 

Lipstick On A Pig

update: all iFlush Public Utility codes have been claimed – thank you

The other day while sifting through the piles of KRAPPS in the App Store, we found a real nugget. This nugget made us happy and being the givers that we are, we’d like to share it with you (you’re welcome). Simply put … go get the iFlush Public Utility app now! Why on earth should you get this KRAPPS? Good question! answer: because it’s SUPER KRAPPS!

iFlush Public Utility is one amazing toilet app. You know, the kind of app used to flush away things you hate … and instantly feel better. Ah yes, very therapeutic. Well this ain’t no ordinary stress relieving toilet … this sucker is the Porsche 911 of toilet apps … check it, Porsche 911 TURBO. Seriously, it’s really that krapptastic … just check out iFlush Public Utilities features (all standard options, no need to pay more than a buck for this bad bunny):

3 toilets options: Power Flush, Outhouse or Western Standard
12 built-in flush objects (ex wife, burrito, LOL the cat, two faced friend, etc.)
Customizable flush object using images from your iPhone’s photo library
Dolby Digital Surround Sound
And of course, a fart button (all good KRAPPS include this)

iflushpc2     iflushpc3

We gotto tell ya … for as much as this is KRAPPS … developer Elimination Systems actually did an awesome job coding iFlush Public Utility. And we are being serious – seriously. When you load a customizable flush object, the user has the ability to resize and adjust the image within the toilet bowl. Graphics are solid and creative. The “Pick Your Toilet” screen is on a roll of toilet paper. The “Pick Your Flush Object” screen is a bathroom wall with some very funny graffiti … iFart Stinks! … for a good time go to iflush.net … and more, but we’ll play it safe and leave you with the tamest two of the bunch. Heck, even their promo video is tight and professional … check it out for a good laugh.

iflushpc1    iflushpc4

So is KRAPPS getting soft? Is KRAPPS becoming vain and falling in love with KRAPPS. NO! NO! NO! iFlush Public Utility is still KRAPPS … however we do appreciate the coding and attention to detail – pretty darn impressive. But as the saying goes … you can’t put lipstick on a pig … but in the case of iFlush Public Utility,  it’s a super pig … aka SUPER KRAPPS.

FREE iFlush Public Utility App To KRAPPS Viewers!
Elimination Systems, developers of iFlush Public Utility, were kind enough to provide codes which will allow KRAPPS viewers to download their SUPER KRAPPS for FREE. Simply be one of the first 5 to leave a comment at the end of this review. Enjoy!

March 5, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 23 Comments 

Little Red Sled App

By popular demand, KRAPPS will periodically review “legit” apps.

update: giveaway has concluded – thank you

Imangi Studios is an independent game development studio based in Washington, DC. They currently support the iPhone platform and plan to extend their reach in the near future. Imangi’s first two releases are excellent word puzzle games, Word Squares [App Store] and Imangi [App Store]. They recently released their first non-word game, Little Red Sled.

LRS1

Little Red Sled is a very cool 3D sled racer featuring the characters Max and Maya (your choice which character you play). You control Max/Maya as they launch themselves down a snowy mountain. But it’s no ordinary mountain … it’s a Crazy Russian Mystical Mountain filled with floating gift boxes, radical jumps and psycho killer bunnies.

LRS2

Currently there are 13 slopes (levels) to ride with an additional two slopes being released this week. Imangi’s goal is to eventually have 30 slopes total – making it the world’s largest Crazy Russian Mystical Mountain. Each level has a specific goal which must be met before going on to the later levels. Goals vary from number of gifts collected, minimum score and maximum time. Scoring is done by collecting gifts and doing tricks on your sled. That’s the fun part, watching Max and Maya get totally squirrelly – inverts, alley-oops, backside shuvits and ollies. Max and Maya are totally insane and really should be in an X Games app.

LRS3

Besides the awesome game play, the behind the scenes look is really interesting. The piano music you hear during game play … it’s an original composition produced by Imangi’s co-founder, Natalia. She has been playing the piano since childhood, but this is the first time Natalia has composed music – too cool! Don’t believe us – click here for a video of Natalia jammin’ the piano. Also, all the game sound effects are original and were recorded at Imangi’s office. Imangi invited a bunch of friends to their office, opened the mic and let tape roll for a few hours. It was like an American Idol audition, plenty of hysterics.

Now getting back to those insane characters Max and Maya … most people don’t know this and even Imangi doesn’t know it … but KRAPPS discovered a game within the game. Follow along … as mentioned, Max and Maya do some gnarly sled tricks (shuvits, inverts, etc.). These tricks are performed when their sled goes off a jump and the user shakes their iPhone. Now the game is trying to take a picture (screen capture) of the trick at its peak moment (like completely upside down). Sounds easy? NOT! We attempted 3,000+ screenshots and below are the best results … we are especially fond of the one where Max is about to lose his head crashing into a tree – OUCH!

LRS4

LRS5   LRS6

Anti-Krapps-Seal-v2GIF Click here to download Little Red Sled for a more fair price of $1.99. It’s a high quality game which is a pure joy to play. This one really is a no-brainer to download and of course …
100% anti-KRAPPS Certified.

FREE Little Red Sled To KRAPPS Viewers!
Imangi Studios was kind enough to provide codes which will allow KRAPPS viewers to download Little Red Sled for FREE. Through Thu, Mar 5 at 11:00am PST, tweet the message below on Twitter and be entered into the Little Red Sled drawing. Good luck!

got iPhone? read the Little Red Sled app review on @KRAPPS – it’s 100% anti-KRAPPS Certified http://is.gd/lNPt

March 4, 2009 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, Games | 15 Comments 

Blister In The Sun

What would life be without the iPhone? Seriously, think about it … no twittering from you iPhone, no uploading pictures to Flickr, no checking the weather or baseball scores, no buying movie tickets, etc. … and those are just the basics. What about the REAL value the iPhone delivers? Life would really suck without these … no portable peep show, no bling, no virtual toilet … heck, you couldn’t even prepare a cup of noodles or hail a cab. Horrible thoughts – we know – our apologies for even going there.

Well folks, life with your iPhone just got even better thanks to the fine folks at Dash Technologies. These brilliant developers have introduced an original app that was clearly missing from the App Store … an app that will change your life forever.

sunburn2 You know how sometimes you go to the beach or the park or wherever, to lay out in the sun. Yeah, catching some rays in hopes of a golden suntan. But getting a suntan is a very complicated process – so many steps involved, so many things to remember. First you have to apply sunscreen to avoid completely frying. Then you have to lay down. Then in efforts to achieve an even tan, you have to turn over. Then you have to reapply sunscreen. Damn … way complicated … and get this, screw up any of these steps … bye bye suntan – hello sunburn.

But like we said, no fear … Dash Technologies simplifies our life with the much needed Suntan Watcher app. This amazing app will take burn out of the sun and replace it with tan. But how do they do this? It’s complicated … sort of like performing neurosurgery … very hard to explain … it’s probably best if you just read the app’s description:

Suntan-Watcher-Desc

We’ll try our best to put into plain English what you just read … the Suntan Watcher app has three timers that will alert you when it’s time to turn over, reapply suntan lotion or check if your loved ones are getting burned. Follow? I know… it’s tough. Think of it as a watch that tells time – but not just any old ordinary watch … it’s a SUNTAN WATCH.

Suntan-Watch-Screen1

sunburn1 So rejoice … now even the biggest freaking idiot can enjoy a nice golden suntan with the Suntan Watcher app. Seriously, why would you use the alarm or timer feature that came with your iPhone when you can spend your hard earned money and get a specialized suntan watch/alarm/timer. Now do you see the brilliance of the Suntan Watcher app? Now do you see the value of the iPhone?
Yeah – we don’t either.

March 4, 2009 | Filed Under Health | 12 Comments 

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