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- Here’s To The Crazy Ones
- Despite Female Moans, SexLife Trailer Fails To Arouse [Video]
- Wii iPhone 4 iOS Home & Lock Screen Wallpaper Set [Download]
- Slap A Sexy Belly, Make Music, Huh? – Belly Jam iPhone App [Video]
- Adventure, To The Max! [iPhone Game Review]
- epic – The Toolbox iPhone iOS 4 Home & Lock Screen Wallpaper Set [Download]
- Recap Week Of January 3
- Sexy Star Wars Pinups – EWWW!
- Weird Stuff From Japan – iPhone 4 Sushi Case
- MegaMan iPhone iOS 4 Home Screen Wallpaper Collection [Download]
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Pamela Anderson Is A Man? This App Thinks So
We came across a very interesting app the other day … Pamela’s Twin Sister. Intriguing because we were not aware that Pamela Anderson had a twin sister. Well our “double the Pamela pleasure” was quickly shot down in flames. Reading the app’s description, turns out this is app is of some Pamela Anderson body double chick … whatever, freaking tease!
Although we were crushed by the reality of no “Ta-Ta Twins” … we did discover some very interesting facts about the real Pamela Anderson. Go ahead, read it for yourself …
“Your photos will leave you hot breath”
Hmmm, a stunning effect … Hot Breath. We once suffered from hot breath, but that was due to complications of attempting to eat a friend’s lighted fart. Trust us … not good!
“Has a body of scandal that can go with the fantastic photos that you have prepared”
So we’re preparing the photos? And they need to include a scandalous body? Uh, no thanks … we’re not paparazzi sluts.
“You can see up their sins with the latest high-capacity increase of iPhone”
Oh, we get it … this is like Pocket God. We punish Pamela for her sins … naughty, naughty girl! <grin> Or is it like that Shoe Spy Camera featured on Gizmodo … a pervert camera for shooting upskirts. Up their Sins – Up their Skirts … same thing, no? Huh?
“Now has a relationship with Tommy Lee, rocker boyfriend who was the protagonist of The Baywatch”
Tommy Lee was on Baywatch? Get the f#&k out! Didn’t know that.
“Thanks to his impressive body has been home from magazines and major websites”
“His impressive body” … wait! what? Pamela Anderson had a sex change? How the hell did we miss that one?!?
So there you have it … Pamela’s Twin Sister … the only app which gives you hot breath, the ability to see up their sins, stars Tommy Lee in a red one-piece bathing suit and features Pamela Anderson as a man. Damn this is sick!
PS – we love Google Translate!
This App Is Making The National Football League Its Bitch
September is here … are you ready for some football? That good old American tradition of tossing around the pigskin, bone crushing tackles, tailgating, face painting, etc. Football literally rocks! But the real question is … are you ready for traditional football to be turned on its head and slammed into the ground? Well you better be! Throw out those 300+ pound man-beasts and replace them with girls. Not just any girls … sexy girls wearing lingerie … and this is what you get –> Lingerie Football League.
We shit you not … Bra and Panty football … or literally Fantasy Football. The Lingerie Football League (LFL) is a women’s American football league, in which the ladies play 7-on-7 tackle football games and receive a 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for visible nipple (kidding!). 2009 marks LFL’s inaugural season, with 10 teams and a 20 week schedule. First game is just 2 days away … Sep 4 – Chicago Bliss vs. Miami Caliente. And no, this is not some kind of a joke league – this is serious business. Heck, there’s even a betting line which favors Chicago by 6.5 points, with a 36 point over/under (and no, 36 is not the quaterback’s cup size). Serious business we tell you … why else would the Los Angeles Temptation employ an official Hair Stylist, Make-Up Artist and Tanning Salon … huh, we’re still talking about football – aren’t we? Sure we are … and we’re talking keen merchandising … Game Used Uniforms available for purchase!
LOL … wow … see what money and a big set of balls can accomplish? Yeah baby … Lingerie Football League. We wonder who’s landing the official outfitter of the LFL … Victoria Secret or La Perla? Hmmm, tear away jerseys anyone? <your turn – insert “tight end” and/or “backfield in motion” smartass comment here> LOL.
Ok, we know what you’re thinking … “KRAPPS, you are girl krazy – WTH does this Bra and Panty Football stuff have to do with the iPhone?” … hey, come on now – don’t be doubting us. Oh look what we found … the official iPhone app of the Lingerie Football League.
Freaking sweetness! Complete with player profiles, schedules, rosters, league news, scores and highlight videos. LOL … think what you want, but these down and dirty ladies are making the National Football League their bitch … where’s your app NFL? You suck!
This Redneck Dating App Is Really "Bad"
<cue Motley Crue’s “Girls, Girls, Girls”>
GIRLS … we like girls – girls are cool – girls are fun to look at. GIRLS – just the word sounds nice … sometimes we like to say it over and over again … GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS. Hmmm, you think we’re crazy? – not – we girl crazy!
And lucky for us we have the iPhone … cuz Apple is girl crazy too. Proof – App Store search, keyword = “girls” … something like 831 girl-related apps. LOL … yeah, the iPhone is perfect for us girl crazy kooks! So many apps to choose from … Coed Spring Break Girls – Hot Latinas – Girls With Guns – Asian Boobs – Blondes, Brunettes, Redheads – Sweaty Gym Chicks – Surfer Girls – Hooters Hotties – Naughty Nurses – Large Girls With Even Larger Bosoms … the flavors go on and on.
But even with over 800 girlie apps … sadly, there is one glaring omission. An essential missing flavor … like the vanilla of girlie apps. Hello – where is the Sexy Naughty Girls app?!? And by naughty girls, we don’t mean nasty. We mean bad girls … but not the good kind of bad, we mean the baddest of badass bad –> Criminal Chicks!
Girl criminals are so sexy hot! There’s something about a female who’s been convicted of aggravated assault that just floats our boat. Heck, could be any number of crimes which rock our world … manslaughter, burglary, arson, drunk driving, tax evasion. “Hey baby, you stole a car? Damn girl you are fine!” And those sexy outfits they wear … orange jump suits, accessorized with silver bracelets … errr – handcuffs … absolutely bootylicious. Screw Maxim magazine … we’ll drool over mug shots all day!
Uh wait a minute … breaking news from the App Store! Please engage in cart wheels and back flips … the BUSTEDHOT app has arrived!
Wow … we’re literally floored. Hold on for a second while we pick our jaw up from the floor. This is huge … BUSTEDHOT is what The New York Times should be headlining today instead of that boring Ebay Sells Skype krap. The world seems like a better place now that we have a sexy girlie mug shot app.
But wait a minute – BUSTEDHOT seems a little fishy. Is it a sexy criminal girlie app … or really a Redneck dating service? Meh, potatoe – potato.
Before Those Puking Apps, There Is Get In My Belly
(written by guest author Parth Dhebar. follow Parth on Twitter @pdparticle)
Do you obsess over food? Staring at food – singing about food – touching food – smelling food – dreaming about food – drawing food … and of course, the ultimate in food obsession … EATING food!
If this sounds familiar … great news, you’re in luck … of course there’s an app for that. Get In My Belly is an app about EATING food. The objective of the game is to see how many hot dogs your character can eat in 30 seconds. So if you ever wanted to be like that Kobayashi hot dog eating champion dude … get Get In My Belly (that makes sense, right?).
So let’s start off with the game play. The app works … no crashes or freezes – it did not break my iPhone … in my book, that’s a good start. The game play is straight forward and exhilarating. You only have 30 seconds to shove all this food down your throat – talk about pressure and adrenaline rush, big wave surfing pales in comparison to competitive eating.
The only part that sucks is for those who like reading instructions before playing a new game … uh, there are none! <bangs head on desk> The game play touch sensitivity could use some tweaking … if you have a screen protector on your device, it may be difficult at first to pick up the hot dogs and throw them in your mouth. Remember … you only have 30 seconds … so fumbling around trying to pick up your hot dogs is not all good.
On the positive side … the worldwide scoreboard is great for us over-the-top competitive folks. The claymation graphics are original and awesome. And finally, the game sounds add another dimension to Get In My Belly’s hysterics.
Get In My Belly is a unique app and to my knowledge, the only competitive eating game in the App Store. Now there are plenty of vomiting puke apps … but obviously those are an after effect of Get In My Belly. <gross>
Getting My KRAPPS On – with PCSim
‘Getting My KRAPPS On’ is a new feature in which we will showcase guest contributors, covering a variety of KRAPPS-related topics. Got an idea for an upcoming ‘Getting My KRAPPS On’ article/video? … shoot us an email at info@KRAPPS.com for consideration.
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guest contributor – Patrick Jordan, founder Just Another iPhone Blog
A Little Intro … I am a long-time fan of KRAPPS, a regular reader, and very honored to be the first to share a ‘Getting My KRAPPS On’ piece over here. What does getting my KRAPPS on mean to me? It means taking a leaf from The Book Of KRAPPS, and sharing my thoughts on one of the less stellar inhabitants of the App Store. On an app that is feature-poor and proud of it, that doesn’t do push notifications, and that will NOT be showing up in an iPhone TV ad. So here we go …
Want to emulate the craptastic experience of using a (really) old school PC from the dog days of dial-up internet? Oh yes folks – there is an app for that, and it’s sure to be ever so well received by PC fans who already think Mac and iPhone owners are a bunch of
Snarky Snarkheads. It’s called PCSim and it’s a very funny little novelty app.
It doesn’t do a heck of a lot – just as the PCs it’s imitating didn’t when they were around. Here’s what it does do though:
Shows off a hideously ugly old desktop that could really fill a desktop.
Offers ‘realistic’ sound effects – from a loud, chugging hard drive to fan noises and
even a modem dialing and handshaking.
Gives you a dreadfully slow bootup process with some special startup messages in
DOS along the way.
Once you finally get into Windows, it lets you change the wallpaper, try to connect to
the internet, or try to launch a Windows game.
And of course – frequently throws a Blue Screen of Death at you.
So there you have it – it’s an ugly, noisy, old school Windows PC right there on your iPhone. Marvelous. They should chuck this into one of those ‘I’m a PC’ ads – have someone out looking for an ‘old school dialup internet PC’, tell them if they find it they can keep it. 🙂
And if you need to find it, HERE is where it is in the App Store, priced at $0.99.
Recap: Week Of August 24
In case you missed any of the festivities, quick links to this week’s articles.
August 24: Pretty Poo – A Curiously Bizarre App
August 25: Hard Core Porn On Display In Check myHottie – Along With Child Photographs [Update]
August 26: This iPhone App Makes Your Pants Fall Down
August 27: Can Pictures Talk? Sure They Can With Living Photo (aka We Love Steve)
August 28: It’s Not Creepy, It’s Cool – Write Your Own Obituary With Fun Obit
August 29: iSurprise Receives An App Store F My Life – more bizarre behavior from Apple
August 30: Thank You KRAPPS Sponsors
Bonus Round
Our friend Suzi bakes sweets. Not the Toll House frozen cookie dough stuff … but those fancy shmancy designer cakes. The kind you see on the Food Network cooking channel. Anyways, Suzi is a bit of a geek and a total Apple fan-girl … so naturally she’s created some kick-ass iPhone cakes (girl’s got talent). Check out her creations below, including a killer WALL-E cake. And for even more edible temptations, visit her site SuziSweets.com.
Thank You KRAPPS Sponsors
We would like to thank our valued sponsors. Without their support, there would be no KRAPPS (the site, not apps!). All these peeps are solid folks, have quality products and we’re proud to be aligned with them. Support KRAPPS, show our sponsors some love – it’ll make you smile.
Be Seen With KRAPPS
KRAPPS is the only web site dedicated to iPhone humor and fun. Take advantage of our unique niche by advertising on KRAPPS. We offer four different sponsorship packages to ensure participation at every budget level. Contact us at info@KRAPPS.com to receive our rate card and to secure your advertising placement.
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Living Photo
It’s ALIVE! Your photos that is – with the Living Photo app [iTunes]. Let your imagination run wild as Living Photo will animate your images and make them talk. Blinking eyes, moving mouth … then embed a custom audio message to make your image talk. Heck, make a talking cow or baby or pancake … then share it by email or upload to YouTube directly from within the app. Unlimited possibilities – send a greeting, thank you, apology, happy birthday or even a steamy “I Love You” message. For only 99 cents [iTunes], this app is totally easy to use and will provide endless fun and entertainment for the entire family.
SEX-A-MA-PHONE
Need a fun, flirty and effective way to break the ice and meet someone of the opposite sex? Of course you do – we all do. Check out SEX-A-MA-PHONE … an extremely well made, high quality app which will ensure plenty of laughs with its time machine-like machinery and 128 unique results. For only 99 cents, SEX-A-MA-PHONE [iTunes] is a steal. For more details, click here to read our review.
DrinkTracker – The Breathalyzer iPhone App
Don’t drink and drive! True words, but easier said than done. This is where DrinkTracker [iTunes] comes into play – your personal “alcohol conscious” – helping you to drink responsibly. DrinkTracker calculates your blood alcohol content (BAC) based on your profile and updates every 60 seconds. This is an extremely feature-rich breathalyzer app and at $1.99, a no-brainer bargain buy. Click here for our review or visit the DrinkTracker site for complete details and a fantastic demo video.
iDontFart
Face it – Apple ruined farts. With hundreds of ridiculous fart apps available, they’ve become overplayed and old news. That’s why the iDontFart app [iTunes] is a breath of fresh air … it’s the anti-fart app. Gotta fart? Don’t do it! Use iDontFart to mask those embarrassing bodily noises – so while you’re really erupting the anal volcano, the person in the next stall will think you’re simply reading the newspaper. Brilliant and useful. Click here to read our review.
Pocket Shot
Just chillin’ with your friends in your dorm room, fraternity house, library, etc? Turn any gathering into a goo-shooting party with Pocket Shot [iTunes]. A hysterical game where you pick a photo, pump your weapon, aim and fire … ultimately splatting your target picture with drippy 3-D goo. Score is based on power and accuracy … laughs are guaranteed. Click here to check out the demo video with more intimate details.
100sounds
There’s a reason 100sounds [iTunes] is the #1 soundboard app … cuz it rocks! This app not only provides hundreds of high quality originally recorded sound effects, but also includes loop and delay effects for all your comedic purposes. Plus you can get hundreds of ringtones emailed to you, automatically, at no extra charge! 100sounds was already a bargain at $0.99, so this enhancement makes it a great deal! Click here to view web site (check out the hysterical user-submitted videos) or click here to read our review.
iFight Pro
This app is a blast! To really appreciate iFight Pro [iTunes], click here and take a quick look at a demonstration video – it’s really cool. Combine a handgun, rifle, shotgun, slap, whip, gong, sword or punch with one of the eight background music tracks – and you’ll be awarded with a pure quality, enormously fun iPhone app.
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