Lose Weight, Be Happy – Delete Justin Bieber, Play Jump Jump

justin-bieber-revenge-F If you have an iPhone, you should be familiar with the Tap Tap Revenge franchise from Tapulous. There are over ten different Tap Tap games available … everything from the original Tap Tap Revenge Classic to Lady Gaga Revenge to Metallica Revenge to [i luv] Justin Bieber Revenge (huh? why?). Tapulous has struck App Store gold with their series of iPhone-specific games and rightfully so … Tap Tap Revenge rocks!

Or does it?

We recently spoke with Haggai Borkow, CEO of iPhone Fitness Games. Haggai explained his concerns about today’s gamers, “More than ever, videogames are an extremely popular form of entertainment. While this might appear all good, my concern is weight gain. Playing videogames day and night is a sedentary lifestyle. Inactive people have the propensity to gain excessive weight. Excessive weight is not all good.”

We checked out the iPhone Fitness Games website and indeed, found some disturbing facts … the obesity epidemic, called Globesity, kills millions of people every year … in the US, 80% of people over age 25 are overweight … with 20% of children under age 10 already overweight … globally, over half of the world’s population is overweight.

KRAPPS! No wonder our nephews and nieces have never heard of baseball or soccer … too much damn Tap Tap Revenge.


“But KRAPPS, you can’t simply say … ‘No Videogames For You! Go Exercise!’ … gamers, especially the ones with emo tendencies, will not respond” said Haggai. “That’s why my company has created an app which transforms exercise into a fun jumping game.” Haggai continued, “Thus, whenever you play, you exercise. This intertwining of fun and exercise transcends our aversion from exercise, prompting us to exercise. Even emos will enjoy.”

Huh? Jumping game? Indeed … the Jump Jump app [iTunes $2.99] … the healthy Justin Bieber Revenge alternative.


Jump Jump is like Tap Tap, but instead of tapping targets, you jump with you iPhone and attempt to land in the middle of the target. As your fitness improves, levels become more demanding and punk rock pogo stick dance is required.

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Not only does Jump Jump track your high scores … but more importantly, your fitness and how many calories you’ve burnt on a daily, weekly and monthly period. Plus you’ll enjoy the benefits of immediate exercise-induced euphoria and long-term improvements in practically all of the body’s systems.

Haggai explained, “Surprisingly, ‘all of the body’s systems’ includes the brain. Research consistently shows that physical activity is the best thing that happens to our brain … improves oxygen flow to the brain, protects against degeneration of the nerve cells (as in dementia), helps create new nerve cells, increases synaptic plasticity and overall, enhances cognitive function.”

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Well fair enough Haggai … we’ve already put out our Marlboro, dumped the fifth of Jack and deleted Justin Bieber Revenge. Better health, improved fitness, reduced weight, boosted immunity and increased oxygen flow to the brain … can’t you see what we mean – might as well Jump Jump!

Whiten Yellow Teeth (waste your money) With This New iPhone App

We have a confession to make. We’re telling you this in confidence … so please don’t go blabbing it on Twitter or something. Pinky swear?

Ok then … on Valentine’s Day, we flat out lied to our significant other. We’re not proud of it, we had too … for the sake of the relationship. The significant other knows about our obsessive affection towards the iPhone and all things Apple. So what better way to say I Love You on Valentine’s Day than giving her the “Nothing Steve Jobs Ever Creates Could Fully Replace You In My Life” eCard from Someecards.


But really, can you blame us for having this affair with our iPhone? It totally rocks and completes us. We did a study of our life pre and post iPhone … the results were amazing. The quality of our life measured 322% better post iPhone. Check these proof points:

Ha! See that … quality of life, completes us, 322% better … that’s what we’re talking about!

And we’re happy to report yet another quality of iPhone life proof point. We can now have whiter teeth with the new Teeth Whitening Light app.


How cool is that? No more visits to an expensive cosmetic dentist. No more Crest Whitestrips. No more lasers, bleach or hydrogen peroxide. All you need is your iPhone to turn yellow teeth white. Just launch the Teeth Whitening Light app and shine it on your grill (although we suggest avoiding this practice in public … most folks just don’t get how revolutionary the iPhone is … including our significant other).


And let’s not forget the app’s amazing technology … it uses “micro pixelated image technology of actual Teeth Whitening Lights used on the market today” … wow, we’re sold! Sorry significant other – just keeping it real. Pretty much EVERYTHING Steve Jobs creates, including the 150,000+ apps Apple approves, replaces you in our life. Just look at our pearly whites!   


Addicted To Porn? These Apps Can Help You Recover

As previously reported, we’ve been closely following Apple’s all-out attempt at clearing the App Store of smut apps. In late December, without any warnings, Apple reversed its policy and began removing once approved sexy hot chick apps that showed too much skin (pasties, hand bras, etc.). Then just this week, Apple began rejecting apps due to inappropriate preview screenshots… stating they must meet the requirements for a 4+ rating (suitable for ages 4 and above).

And there’s an additional, albeit indirect approach … a pair of iPhone apps that help users battle their addiction to pornography.

Biblical Encouragement – Pornography Addiction
Published by WorldLink Apps, per the app’s description … “this application provides encouraging Bible verses for the myriad of emotions and symptoms associated with pornography addiction”. And not only is this app quite popular (breaking into the Health & Fitness category’s Top 50 in the UK … but still not in the US Top 300), Biblical Encouragement – Pornography Addiction seems to be reaching its target market. According to AppShopper’s “Customers Also Bought” feature, users who purchased  Pornography Addiction also downloaded Epic Boob, Sexy Girls and Sex Jokes.


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iRecover – Pornography Addiction Recovery
While Biblical Encouragement provides, well, encouragement to battle your porn addiction … iRecover takes a bit of a different approach. From the get go, the app cuts through the bullshit and bluntly states … “For those of you who are ready to overcome the filth of pornography and invest in meaningful and fulfilling relationships – if you are ready to quit letting these filth peddlers make a quick buck by preying on your natural God-given instincts – this is the time and the year!” iRecover provides articles, resources, tools and techniques to battle porn addiction … much like the training and planning system from FranklinCovey. And although released just two days ago, iRecover has quickly vaulted into its category’s Top 200 in France.


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Exclusive – Peyton Manning Seen Using iPhone App During Super Bowl

The Indianapolis Colts and New Orleans Saints played in Super Bowl XLIV (that’s “44” for the Roman numerically challenged) yesterday and damn … what a helluv a football game. The Colts took a quick 10-0 lead, but ultimately it was the Saints who fought back and won  in thrilling fashion, 31-17. Congrats to the Saints for their first-ever Super Bowl triumph!


Now while most of the media attention was focused on the Saints gutsy play calling (who starts the second half with an onside kick … that’s ridiculously awesome) and come-from-behind victory, KRAPPS took a different approach … we were busy attempting to discover iPhone-related Super Bowl news. And that we did …

Just after Indianapolis Colts quarterback, Peyton Manning, made a critical mistake late in the fourth quarter … throwing an interception that was returned for a touchdown … he was seen on the bench using his iPhone. Below is our exclusive picture of this “Manning iPhone” moment.


After the game, we used our super-duper computer to enhance the image and discovered Manning was actually using an iPhone app … below is the video footage.


LMAO … yes folks, just moments after his game turning interception, Manning cried out for help with the I Am Choking app and its amazing voice talent.


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Now we don’t know how effective I Am Choking is during an actual medical emergency (guess we’ll try it out next time we’re choking … assuming we have the presence of mind to  grab our iPhone while we turn blue – yeah right) … but this app certainly serves a purpose in the sporting world for athletes and fans alike.

Smell Like Ass? The iPhone Can Help!

We come across a lot of useless apps … it’s the nature of our business. Use your iPhone as a hand warmer … to blow out a candle … to cut a pizza into evenly-sized portions. Apple keeps saying the iPhone is revolutionary … guess it depends how you look at it. Personally, we don’t need a $300 gadget to help us hail down a cab … waving our “free of charge” hand suits us just fine, thank you very much!

Body-Odor-1111 But every once in a while, we come across a really practical app that restores our faith in the  iPhone. Like this next application.

So we all know someone who smells like ass. The dude who hasn’t bathed in 25 years or that smelly someone who claims to be allergic to toothpaste. We’re talking nasty, foul body odor … commonly found on the crowded subways of New York or throughout Europe (been there, smelled that). And of course the age-old dilemma … how do you tell someone they smell like they’ve been using poo instead of shampoo. It’s not like you can just gift them a canary and if it drops dead, hopefully they’ll take the hint. These situations stink … talk about awkward!

Well thanks to our useful iPhone, awkward be gone … say hello to Got Smell?



How brilliant is that? No more uncomfortable social situations. Simply plop in the offender’s email address and Got Smell? will take care of your dirty work.


Now of course Got Smell is very gentle in their approach. Smelly dude receives a polite “You Smell” email with constructive tips on how to correct the odorly misconduct. Got Smell? is very civilized and a great way to avoid human interaction and confrontation.

But then again, with apps like MyGirl and Mega Girlfriend … isn’t that the real value of the iPhone … avoiding any and all human contact.

Anti-Aging iPhone App – Don’t Laugh, Demi Moore Uses It

Cat-Hat-Aging Face it … getting old sucks! Theodor Seuss Geisel summed it up quite nicely:

I cannot see, I cannot pee.
I cannot chew, I cannot screw.
Oh my God, what can do?
My memory shrinks. My hearing stinks.
No sense of smell. I look like hell.
My mood is bad – can you tell?
My body’s drooping. I have trouble pooping.
The Golden Years have come at last.
The Golden Years can kiss my ass.

LOL … yeah, it does seem kinda gloomy. You get winded playing chess … your back goes out more than you do … you sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going. OUCH!

But never fear Dr. Seuss! Not only is the iPhone revolutionary, but it now has Fountain of Youth goodness thanks to the new Anti-Aging app by United Holdings Group.



WOW! Healing based on sacred geometry … how can you argue with sacred geometry! And count ‘em … ten therapy different color, light and sound therapy treatments: Wrinkle Eraser, Acne Clear, Cellulite Buster, Skin Cleanser, Dark Circles and Puffy Eyes, Stretch Marks and Scars, Oxygen and Circulation, Joint Discomfort and Arthritis, Sleep Disorder and Muscle Tension and Hair Growth Simulator. All this in one app! All this for under $3! Think of the money you’ll save on zit cream, Rogaine, cosmetic surgery, etc … freaking bargain compared to the one-dimensional hair growth and weight loss apps we’ve featured.

And it’s so easy to use – follow these simple in-app instructions …

Just hold your iPhone or iPod Touch about 1"- 3" away from the targeted area of treatment and begin your Anti-Aging therapy session. These relaxing therapies offer a heal from within approach and noticeable results can sometimes be seen in the very first treatment but generally become more noticeable between the third and fourth treatment and continues to improve for up to six months following a treatment schedule.

Absolutely amazing! Best app ever! What … not convinced? Come on non-believer <shun> … it’s been seen on AOL and used by Demi Moore (she rocks, ya know?) … all the proof you need that this KRAPPS app works.

Damn … Demi Moore uses the Anti-Aging app? The same chick who helped prevent a suicide on Twitter. Damn … Demi Moore is smokin! Ok, we’re in … off to download Anti-Aging and be like Demi.



Getting Your Drunk Ass Home – DrinkTracker Receives An Update [$25 iTunes giveaway]

($25 iTunes gift card giveaway – see end of article for details)

A few months ago, we featured a fantastic breathalyzer app called DrinkTracker [$1.99 in iTunes] by SlappMe.com. We made it very clear that we have nothing against partying hard, getting hammered and waking up in a gutter with a new tattoo on your forehead … but just stay away from driving a car. Doesn’t take a brainiac to know … drinking and driving sucks. However, let’s not kid ourselves … “don’t drink and drive” is easier said than done. This is where DrinkTracker comes into play – your personal “alcohol conscious” – helping you to drink responsibly.


DrinkTracker is rich with unique features which help estimate your Blood Alcohol Content (BAC). One of the coolest features is that based on your personal profile (gender, age, height and weight), DrinkTracker will automatically compare your alcohol intake and your metabolic removal rate and then calculate your BAC EVERY 60 SECONDS! So every 60 seconds you will automatically be updated with your current BAC level and given a timeframe for how long you need to wait until your next drink to remain at your BAC target.

To fully appreciate the numerous features of DrinkTracker, watch the demo video below. It’s a touch over 5 minutes, but well worth your time considering one day DrinkTracker may save your life or at the very least, keep you out of the slammer.


Awesome App Gets Awesomer (yes, that’s a word … ask any surfer bro)
Since the initial launch last June, developer Greg Slapp has been hard at work providing free updates to DrinkTracker. <love it when a developer is committed to their app and provides frequent updates / enhancements> In Version 2.0, Greg implemented a
GPS-based feature called “Outta Here!” to help get your drunk ass home (or to the next bar). Based on your current location and eventual destination, DrinkTracker conveniently provides travel directions via in-app Google Maps, the ability to locate and call for a taxi or email a TRUE friend with your current location for pickup. It also allows for a phone call or SMS contact via your contacts list from within the app.


And great news … Greg’s next update will include multiple concurrent user sessions. Two people can use DrinkTracker app at the same time and it will track BAC’s separately. A totally cool feature we love because two responsible heads are better than one.

itunes-giftcard-150 Because we like the name SlappMe.com, we’re giving away $25 in iTunes credit (US account required). Simply let us know how you first discovered the KRAPPS web site in the comments field below and you’ll be entered into a drawing to win the $25 iTunes card.
Entries must be received by Fri, Oct 30, 11:59 PST.

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